Something has been weighing heavily on my shoulders lately, and I wanted to get some outside opinions on it.
A couple of years ago, I married a man that I thought was a good Christian man that was super close with his then 10 year old niece.
Two weeks after we were married, she spent the night and insisted on sleeping in our bed. I wasn't comfortable with it, but I allowed it. They went to before I did, and when I walked in, he was spooning her with this arm and leg thrown over her. Keep in mind, this child is about 5 feet tall and 90 something pounds. I convinced myself that they didn't lay that way until after they fell asleep. Still, I made it clear to him she would not be sleeping with us anymore. He first argued, then agreed.
A couple of months later, she spent a few days with us again. We put her in a room by herself with a tv, and I did not allow her to sleep in our bed. She still showered in our bathroom (which is the same size a's the guest bathroom) while I was at work and he was at home. She also poured herself a glass of tea in a wine class she got from an upper cabinet, and laid in our bed, under the covers, and watched our tv. He would go in our bedroom and play with her during commercials from the ballgame he was watching in the living room. One day, I walked in the bedroom to look at something on the computer. He walked in the room and laid down on the bed. She then walked in and laid down right up against him and threw her arm around him. I didn't say anything. She climbed up and laid down flat on top of him, for a period of 4-5 minutes. This was not a hug!
I was deeply disturbed and talked to a couple of friends about it. They both thought the behavior was disgusting! One pointed out that the wine glass incident was her playing grown up in my bed, and it had probably been encouraged at some point.
As I thought back, I realized there were several red flags that I had overlooked for a while. For example, he goes to visit her at her house every week, and they go play out in the woods alone, or they go in her bedroom and close the door to watch tv or play. I would never allow a grown man in my daughter's room with the door closed, but her mother doesn't seem to mind.
He's also shown signs of perversion with other adult women who have trusted him, though it's nothing illegal. He is in a position of trust with several young adults as well.
He refused to seek counseling, so we obviously divorced. I'm very happy in my life now, but I still feel a little guilty for not ever reporting that. I just didn't feel that the police or child serves would properly investigate.
Should I report it, or just let it go?