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yup

Owensboro, KY

#42 Aug 10, 2012
Just ratchet
Ummmmm

United States

#43 Aug 10, 2012
neither wrote:
<quoted text>by saying you have grown apart, do you mean she ( and you ) have been too busy raising kids and working to have stayed close? Now that the kids are almost grown, instead of getting to know each other again, you want to throw away the person who did sacrifice her life to raise your kids? Are your kids responsible individuals? Don't you owe her more for that? She is what you wanted when you married her and you did feel that way about her. Go to counseling or our on dates with her. If you have great kids, you owe her that now so she can have a life to now that her work is almost done..... And divorce even sux for grown kids. I know this. Be an example to them that you do make a commitment for life. And that you respect and love their mother, who is prob the person they love and respect most in life.
Saying a woman sacrificed her life to raise her own kids? That's kinda silly to say, don't you think? People get married for all kinds of reasons. Some to get out of their parents house after high school, some for money, some for social status, convenience, comfort in having someone in their lives, some for a green card then their are even some who still marry for love.... You only get one life, so single and able to find happiness or married and unhappy.... Life is too short to live trying to please others or by what idea others think you should or expect you to live. Life is what you make of it... Only you can make the choice to live for you. No reason to fight or be miserable in a relationship cause kids see this and they would want their mom and dad to get along and be happy. If its with someone else, so be it, but I know from experience kids don't like to live or see their parents fighting and unhappy.
WOW

United States

#44 Aug 10, 2012
Ummmmm wrote:
<quoted text>Saying a woman sacrificed her life to raise her own kids? That's kinda silly to say, don't you think? People get married for all kinds of reasons. Some to get out of their parents house after high school, some for money, some for social status, convenience, comfort in having someone in their lives, some for a green card then their are even some who still marry for love.... You only get one life, so single and able to find happiness or married and unhappy.... Life is too short to live trying to please others or by what idea others think you should or expect you to live. Life is what you make of it... Only you can make the choice to live for you. No reason to fight or be miserable in a relationship cause kids see this and they would want their mom and dad to get along and be happy. If its with someone else, so be it, but I know from experience kids don't like to live or see their parents fighting and unhappy.
Guess that is why I'm not married. I would only do it for love. I agree with a lot of your points expect that a lot of people don't even try to make relationships work anymore. Once the feeling of love is gone so are they, but love encompasses much more than a feeling.

Back to the topic of people who make plans and never follow through. I hate it. I don't understand the point. If something comes up, a responsible mature minded individual would let the other person know. If it is to blow someone off, just leave them alone.
Missy

Bowling Green, KY

#45 Aug 10, 2012
If you aren't in love with your wife, then you need to step away now. Let her go so she can find happiness too! Do what is in your heart not what other's want you to do, you can still be a good parent together or not.
waiting on no one

Bowling Green, KY

#46 Aug 10, 2012
I don't date at all anymore. I've been divorced 7 yrs and only had two short relationships since then. I went out with each one for four mos. They were duds. They cheated, lied, blah, blah, blah. So, I gave up. But, I'm not having a pity party. I happen to like myself. And, if I have to be alone for the rest of my life, then I will be fine.... My point, "waiting on you", is don't waste your life settling for crap. There are many reasons people stay with someone they don't love anymore. Kids, finances, whatever the reason; it's wrong...My brother was married, and had 3 kids. He was unhappy for so long. He stayed because he didn't want to break up his family. He didn't want to change his life, and live in another house, and start over with someone else, no matter that she ran around on him, etc. He really still loved her. But, she finally wanted a divorce. They split up, and he was hurting for a while, but finally after almost a yr, he was getting over it, and started going out, and having a little fun, starting a new life....then he died in a car wreck. So, all those yrs he lived unhappy were for nothing. The only thing good to come of it, was he got to raise his kids. But, his kids wish he would have left a long time before to have more happy yrs than he had...My point is: Life is too short. Don't live your life unhappy. Don't live to make everyone else happy. Live to make yourself happy. This person may want to stay in this kind of relationship, but you don't have to sit around and wait on them. Go enjoy your own life. Live your life like you are dying, because you are...We all are one day. It may be when we are 90, but it may be tomorrow.
englighted

Owensboro, KY

#47 Aug 10, 2012
waiting on no one wrote:
I don't date at all anymore. I've been divorced 7 yrs and only had two short relationships since then. I went out with each one for four mos. They were duds. They cheated, lied, blah, blah, blah. So, I gave up. But, I'm not having a pity party. I happen to like myself. And, if I have to be alone for the rest of my life, then I will be fine.... My point, "waiting on you", is don't waste your life settling for crap. There are many reasons people stay with someone they don't love anymore. Kids, finances, whatever the reason; it's wrong...My brother was married, and had 3 kids. He was unhappy for so long. He stayed because he didn't want to break up his family. He didn't want to change his life, and live in another house, and start over with someone else, no matter that she ran around on him, etc. He really still loved her. But, she finally wanted a divorce. They split up, and he was hurting for a while, but finally after almost a yr, he was getting over it, and started going out, and having a little fun, starting a new life....then he died in a car wreck. So, all those yrs he lived unhappy were for nothing. The only thing good to come of it, was he got to raise his kids. But, his kids wish he would have left a long time before to have more happy yrs than he had...My point is: Life is too short. Don't live your life unhappy. Don't live to make everyone else happy. Live to make yourself happy. This person may want to stay in this kind of relationship, but you don't have to sit around and wait on them. Go enjoy your own life. Live your life like you are dying, because you are...We all are one day. It may be when we are 90, but it may be tomorrow.
Sorry about your brother. Hope you find someone special.
agree

Owensboro, KY

#48 Aug 12, 2012
Sara__ wrote:
<quoted text>If she really is a nut case and you leave your children with her then you are being a bad dad. I'm thinking the drinking and cheating is what makes you look that way. If you want out, be a man and go. Everyone will be better off.
He should try to get custody of his kids.

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