Why do men/women cheat?

reasons anyone?

Lack of living for God, selfishness, lack of morals, no self control, and more selfishness.

Or your spouse quits hugging you, kissing you because he is self consumed.

A man I was acquainted with but didn't know that well, his wife and my wife were close friends, he crossed the line on her by getting involved with a woman from his job.
His self confidence was shaken up pretty bad when he lost a good paying job due to new ownership. The girl he had the tryst with was there stroking his ego about "Everything will be alright, your a smart and nice looking man who can get another job easily" & conversely at home it was "oh no this isn't good, were not going to make it" To this and many other married men, this is the same as emotional manslaughter. He definitely took the wrong turn and of course a crisis came about.

Crazazy Girl wrote:

Or your spouse quits hugging you, kissing you because he is self consumed.

I'm glad you have a grasp on what the opposite sex does wrong to contribute to the issue, but I think it would be nice if you give us a woman's perspective of why or how women you've known have been thru this?

You are responsible for your own actions. Your spouse does not make you cheat, no matter how bad they are. If they treat you bad, then leave instead of being a whore (male or female). Cheating causes serious destruction in all the lives around you, especially when there's children involved. Don't be selfish and don't blame the victim. Take responsibility for your own actions.

dfkj wrote:

Lack of living for God, selfishness, lack of morals, no self control, and more selfishness.

Agreed! Some people can never be satisfied either. They are usually unhappy with themselves and are constantly seeking happiness from other people or situations. The inability to deal and cope with their problems at home also can turn into infidelity. I think cheating goes right along with drugs, gambling, and addictions in general. Some people get a high off the risk of it all and not getting caught. It pretty much all boils down to the points, dfkj made: lack of morals and values and selfishness. What a shame! Broken marriages and children over indulging in sinful pleasures.

People cheat because they didn't marry the right person to begin with. Or Mr./ Mrs right quit taking care of business in the relationship. People as humans have needs and if they aren't being met people will find someone that will meet them. Then you just have some people that will sleep with anything they can get their hands on just because they can. There is no one answer simple explination.

RocksQuarry wrote:

<quoted text>I'm glad you have a grasp on what the opposite sex does wrong to contribute to the issue, but I think it would be nice if you give us a woman's perspective of why or how women you've known have been thru this?

That is why my friend cheated. She had always hated cheating of any kind. She realizes she should have went to God instead of her friend for comfort. It is very complex and upsetting to her. She has since gotten divorced, which she knows should have been done before an affair. She told me that she was so judgmental about affairs and it seems that is why she was put to the test. She now is not judgmental about things. She is forgiving, instead of angry.

Yes marriage takes a tremendous amount of work, commitment, tenacity and foresight.
I think one thing that gets either gender in trouble is when they fail to see the value of their relationship or look ahead at what they are throwing away; i.e. the opportunity to see your kids grow up and graduate, become married and give you grandchildren and the other aspects of a relationship you can have as a result of being faithful and steady.
Obviously selfishness is the leading cause.
Here's a real good book to read on how to help prevent it.
http://www.amazon.com/Hedges-Paperback-Editio...
by Jerry B Jenkins

These are excuses, not reasons. You blamed the victim in this. No one is responsible for someone cheating except the cheater. If they're not happy at home, they need to do everything they can to fix it and if they can't, they need to leave. There is no good reason for cheating.

And the people who cheat with someone who is already in a relationship are just absolutely stupid. Nothing will fix that stupidity.

Tunaboat wrote:

People cheat because they didn't marry the right person to begin with. Or Mr./ Mrs right quit taking care of business in the relationship. People as humans have needs and if they aren't being met people will find someone that will meet them. Then you just have some people that will sleep with anything they can get their hands on just because they can. There is no one answer simple explination.

You hit it right on the head Oops. People can never be satisfied with what they have and they have this grandiose thought that they deserve the best (although they don't really know what it is that they want, when they get it, it's not good enough either) and if they don't get the best, then they are entitled to look for it until they find it. If someone has this way of thinking, they need to stay out of relationships all together and for God's sake, do not get married and have kids. They only leave destruction behind.

No relationship is perfect and if things are not good at home, then people might try looking in a mirror and seeing what it is that they are doing or not doing that is not helping the situation. And if you cannot go through life without constantly seeking that perfect person and everything in your life depends on how another person gives you happiness, you have bigger problems then and need a therapist.

I don't think people really grasp the destruction and devastation that is caused by someone cheating. It affects every aspect of someone's life.

oops4got2pulloutagain wrote:

<quoted text>
Agreed! Some people can never be satisfied either. They are usually unhappy with themselves and are constantly seeking happiness from other people or situations. The inability to deal and cope with their problems at home also can turn into infidelity. I think cheating goes right along with drugs, gambling, and addictions in general. Some people get a high off the risk of it all and not getting caught. It pretty much all boils down to the points, dfkj made: lack of morals and values and selfishness. What a shame! Broken marriages and children over indulging in sinful pleasures.

Crazazy Girl wrote:

Or your spouse quits hugging you, kissing you because he is self consumed.

What makes you think your spouse or boyfriend is self-consumed?

lovinmeok wrote:

reasons anyone?

I think most of it deals with the lack of talking with your spouse/partner. Some people find it hard to talk to their spouse/partner because they do not want to stress the other person out, or show to much emotion, or fear of arguing with each other. We all tend to bottle things up instead of talking. And when we finally do decide to talk we are running over with so much emotion that we do not take the time to hear what the other has to say. Or we could take it the wrong way and it end up in an argument.

So what ends up happening is that man/woman ends up finding a friendly ear that listens without any criticism, and seems to say everything the right way. Then one thing leads to another. And sadly, it can lead up to cheating on your partner/spouse.

This happened to one of my dear friends and her husband. He cheated on her because when he did try to talk to her she didn't want to listen, because it always ended up in them arguing.

Tunaboat wrote:

People cheat because they didn't marry the right person to begin with. Or Mr./ Mrs right quit taking care of business in the relationship. People as humans have needs and if they aren't being met people will find someone that will meet them. Then you just have some people that will sleep with anything they can get their hands on just because they can. There is no one answer simple explination.

Where is the reason? Seems to me you just gave excuses people say to make themselves feel better about cheating in the relationship.

If someone didnt marry the right person then they should have left the relationship first. It really is not that hard to walk out a door. What type of business are you talking about? Sex? That is not a reason to cheat on your partner. Sex is a desire, it is not a need.

asdf wrote:

These are excuses, not reasons. You blamed the victim in this. No one is responsible for someone cheating except the cheater. If they're not happy at home, they need to do everything they can to fix it and if they can't, they need to leave. There is no good reason for cheating.
And the people who cheat with someone who is already in a relationship are just absolutely stupid. Nothing will fix that stupidity.
<quoted text>

evidently you have never been in this situation. and there are many senerio's. But how's really to say who the victim is. And ending a relationship is not always an option. I don't beleive in cheating but it's a reality of life and has been since B.C. it's like a non-smoker who has never lit one up calling a smoker stupid, they don't have a clue but can judge from the back seat. It's alright to have your opinion and thats just what it is "your Opinion" Don't judge people for you know not.

You would be wrong. I have been on both sides of this issue Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. There is NO REASON OR EXCUSE to cheat, period. Selfishness.

Tunaboat wrote:

<quoted text>
evidently you have never been in this situation. and there are many senerio's. But how's really to say who the victim is. And ending a relationship is not always an option. I don't beleive in cheating but it's a reality of life and has been since B.C. it's like a non-smoker who has never lit one up calling a smoker stupid, they don't have a clue but can judge from the back seat. It's alright to have your opinion and thats just what it is "your Opinion" Don't judge people for you know not.

Top 10 Reasons why Men cheat:

1) The lady doesn't put out
2) She cheated on him
3) Its challenging & exciting hence the name "sex trophies"

4) They think they can get away with it
5) It boosts their ego
6) The opportunity was there
7) Girlfriend is a nag
8) Their women let them
9) The lady doesn't turn them on anymore
10) He doesn't love her anymore

Men cheat because they're unhappy with their relationship or they have underlying issues that need addressing and have nothing to do with the relationship.

Source: http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten_6...

Top 10 Reasons Women Cheat:

1) Not enough sex
2) Being the bad girl and feeling frisky
3) Self esteem booster
4) Revenge/Payback for past wrongs
5) Lack of intimacy
6) Feeling neglected/ignored and underappreciated
7) Emotional withdrawal moving on
8) Bedroom Boredom
9) Exit Strategy instead of breaking up and dealing with it
10) Revenge for his cheating

Women cheat usually its her heart (or her ego) that needs healing, not her libido.

Source: http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_150/181b_...

We Sin, we are all imperfect. We need self-control. If you have true love for your mate and especially God,than you would not cheat.

Just the facts wrote:

We Sin, we are all imperfect. We need self-control. If you have true love for your mate and especially God,than you would not cheat.

And you wouldn't be stupid enough to be in a relationship with someone who you know is a habitual cheater and yet you want to stay with that person and complain about their cheating...I pity those people.