How much proof do you need?

Posted in the Nicholasville Forum

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Amazed

Lexington, KY

#1 Feb 23, 2011
It truly amazes me to read these posts about cheaters. If I were to ever catch my spouse or significant other having a relationship with any one else, that would be it. There would be no second chance. Once the trust has been broken, there is no getting it back. Needless to say, why would you want to. What the two of you had is no longer special or of any value. When someone steps out of a relationship ~ they know at that very moment what they are jeopardizing and obviously it doesnt matter. I read so many using God as a reason to stay, seriously people, God doesnt expect you to stay with an adulterer. Accept some responsibility of your own.
too bad

Nicholasville, KY

#2 Feb 23, 2011
While I understand your opinion, I have to point out a basic flaw in your premise. You apparently do not believe in God. I know you reference His expectations but if you truly believed then you would not state "once trust is broken, there is no getting it back". Nothing is beyond God's repair. If someone is truly repentant about breaking his or her marriage vows, then God has forgiven them. If we can't or won't, then we are setting ourselves above God.
Also, all sin is the same in the eyes of God. So the adulterer is no worse or better than the thief. The rapist is no better than the murderer. Sure, our punishments for crimes vary according to severity and it has to be that way...because none of us are perfect and there has to be a way of recognizing the seriousness of an offense. But God IS perfect so it's only right that all sin is the same to Him.
Now, if you don't believe in God, then all of this falls on deaf ears and your premise WILL work for you and any other non-believer. And I do agree that God probably doesn't expect us to stay with an adulterer, but He doesn't expressly forbid it either.
well

Topeka, KS

#3 Feb 23, 2011
I don't really care what peoples opinions are on god. I'm agnostic. To be honest I wouldn't stay with someone if they cheated on me. It has happened and I did leave him. I think its riduculous that everyone throws their god knowledge around and thinks they know what's best and right by god. But not everyone lives along those lines. Its not that I'm trying to put myself above him...which is a moronic statement to make....but I believe in free will. We make our own choices, they aren't mapped out before hand for us to follow. And its stupid that someone would try to convince you to stay with someone who has hurt you. I would rather deal with having a child born a bastard than to have the child in a marriage and live my life with regret and questions about my man.
Amazed

Lexington, KY

#4 Feb 23, 2011
too bad wrote:
While I understand your opinion, I have to point out a basic flaw in your premise. You apparently do not believe in God. I know you reference His expectations but if you truly believed then you would not state "once trust is broken, there is no getting it back". Nothing is beyond God's repair. If someone is truly repentant about breaking his or her marriage vows, then God has forgiven them. If we can't or won't, then we are setting ourselves above God.
Also, all sin is the same in the eyes of God. So the adulterer is no worse or better than the thief. The rapist is no better than the murderer. Sure, our punishments for crimes vary according to severity and it has to be that way...because none of us are perfect and there has to be a way of recognizing the seriousness of an offense. But God IS perfect so it's only right that all sin is the same to Him.
Now, if you don't believe in God, then all of this falls on deaf ears and your premise WILL work for you and any other non-believer. And I do agree that God probably doesn't expect us to stay with an adulterer, but He doesn't expressly forbid it either.
Being said, if someone raped me, the mere thought of that person ever touching me again would repulse me. If someone stole from me,I would not want that person ever near me or my property again. If someone were to kill me or a loved one, I would never want that person near me and be punished. So why would I ever give the person that humiliated and deceived me a second chance? How do you respect someone that has taken upon him or herself to lay down and give of themselves something so precious, so intimately? The whole thought makes me want to vomit. It's not okay. It is not acceptable. Any man or woman that thinks that it is acceptable is sick in the head. Believer or non-believer, if a relationship has any room for any invasion, it was never complete to start with. We are of free will and God is NOT responsible for everything.
too bad

Nicholasville, KY

#5 Feb 23, 2011
I think we are comparing apples and oranges when it comes to allowing a stranger who has physically assaulted us to have some sort of further contact with us and forgiving a loved one of injuring us emotionally. So let's at least try to stay in the same field of play.
No one has said that what an adulterer does is acceptable or to be taken lightly. The only thing I was trying to point out to the original poster, who brought God into the equation, is that there is nothing that can be broken that God can't fix. Even adultery.
I agree we have free will and that God is not responsible for everything. But what evil there is in the world is there because of Satan. He is just as active in our lives as God is and you can't believe in one without believing in the other.
Again, if you are an atheist or agnostic, then what I've posted isn't relevant so the whole "once broken, always broken" premise will make sense to you. And that's fine.
FACT

Lexington, KY

#6 Feb 23, 2011
If you love someone, truly love someone, you would NOT even play with the idea of intimacy outside your relationship. There are no excuses, good enough reasons or exceptions. Keep your dignity and walk away. The damage is done.
Know your word

Lexington, KY

#7 Feb 23, 2011
too bad wrote:
While I understand your opinion, I have to point out a basic flaw in your premise. You apparently do not believe in God. I know you reference His expectations but if you truly believed then you would not state "once trust is broken, there is no getting it back". Nothing is beyond God's repair. If someone is truly repentant about breaking his or her marriage vows, then God has forgiven them. If we can't or won't, then we are setting ourselves above God.
Also, all sin is the same in the eyes of God. So the adulterer is no worse or better than the thief. The rapist is no better than the murderer. Sure, our punishments for crimes vary according to severity and it has to be that way...because none of us are perfect and there has to be a way of recognizing the seriousness of an offense. But God IS perfect so it's only right that all sin is the same to Him.
Now, if you don't believe in God, then all of this falls on deaf ears and your premise WILL work for you and any other non-believer. And I do agree that God probably doesn't expect us to stay with an adulterer, but He doesn't expressly forbid it either.
You do know that the 1 and only reason where the bible supports a divorce is cheating, apparently you don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, nothing is beyond God's repair but you don't have a reason to stay with someone once they broke THEIR vow's and the trust you had in that person won't ever exist again. Frankly I would never trust them again, I wouldn't have a reason to because there's no telling what else that person has done or lied to you about.
Know your word

Lexington, KY

#8 Feb 23, 2011
Matthew 5:32 (NIV84)
32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Scripture to back it up
Amazed

Lexington, KY

#9 Feb 24, 2011
Being human, the mere hurt, humiliation & embarrassment would end it for me. The people who choose to turn their heads to this treatment are only inviting it to happen again. And it will.
wow

Chicago, IL

#10 Feb 25, 2011
Dosent the bible say if your an adulter your to be stoned to death? Just trying to find the logic really of anyone bringing god into this subject at all. Lmao ok also curious why that is the only reason to divorce anyone. Why does she become the adultress? If he slept around and she found out and wanted a divorce why is she the bad one?
Grady

Lexington, KY

#11 Feb 25, 2011
wow wrote:
Dosent the bible say if your an adulter your to be stoned to death? Just trying to find the logic really of anyone bringing god into this subject at all. Lmao ok also curious why that is the only reason to divorce anyone. Why does she become the adultress? If he slept around and she found out and wanted a divorce why is she the bad one?
You can thank the Romans for that. They set the rules. When people get to the point that they no longer love or respect the other, they should end their relationship. Not go out and find another first. Wrong choices shouldnt have to haunt us for life. Get out and then move on. Just my opinion.
too bad

Nicholasville, KY

#12 Feb 26, 2011
Know your word wrote:
Matthew 5:32 (NIV84)
32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
Scripture to back it up
Scripture to back what up?? I never said the bible said you shouldn't divorce someone for adultery. I only said there wasn't any scripture that said you had to do so. I only pointed out that it was possible to forgive someone for adultery and that God wants us to forgive each other for their transgressions against us. If you can't, or won't, that's totally up to you. But since you are such a fan of scripture, remember this one.
Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV) "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times."
too bad

Nicholasville, KY

#13 Feb 26, 2011
Amazed wrote:
Being human, the mere hurt, humiliation & embarrassment would end it for me. The people who choose to turn their heads to this treatment are only inviting it to happen again. And it will.
No one is saying to turn your head and ignore the behavior. In fact, scripture says you should rebuke the person before you forgive them. And I agree, there are many people, probably the majority, who commit adultery and feel no shame and will do it again. But there are many who won't as well. If their significant other is capable of forgiving them and allowing them to rebuild the trust that was lost, then they shouldn't be chastised for doing so. Just as people who feel they can never forgive this betrayal shouldn't be made to feel they are wrong.
sharkness

UAE

#14 Feb 26, 2011
The fundamental problem is that you having people making arguments based on the opinions of their imaginary friends.

It's too bad that the other 9000 or so religions and BILLIONS of other people are all wrong and Christians are right.
too bad

Nicholasville, KY

#15 Feb 26, 2011
sharkness wrote:
The fundamental problem is that you having people making arguments based on the opinions of their imaginary friends.
It's too bad that the other 9000 or so religions and BILLIONS of other people are all wrong and Christians are right.
Oh, how clever. A thinly veiled potshot at Christianity. Did it ever occur to you that the billions of other people you refer to ALSO think they are right. So why single out Christians?? Who does it matter to if they are right or wrong, except them?
Amazed

Lexington, KY

#16 Feb 26, 2011
Lets just set aside religion, spirituality or rules for just a second. Who in their right mind would want to share their spouse or partner? That is sick. That means that the faithful one shared themselves with the outsider. Only a desperate person would accept this behavior, belittling them self. PERIOD.
really

United States

#17 Feb 26, 2011
Agreed
too bad

Willow Springs, IL

#18 Feb 26, 2011
Using that logic, you better marry a virgin or you'll be sharing your partner with every person they slept with before you. And dint tell me its different when you're married because you said we were setting aside the rules.
wow

Chicago, IL

#19 Feb 28, 2011
It is not the same when you are with someone you are making a commitment to be with only that person. It is a general rule of thumb or even accepted practice that when dateing you cheat you split up. To throw the rules out is silly. One of the few things that sets us aside from the other animals is that we know better.
too bad

Willow Springs, IL

#20 Feb 28, 2011
Hey, I'm just using the parameters Amazed wanted to use. Of course its different if you are in a commited relationship. But to split u or not is something only the people in the relationship can or should decide. My point is that if the adulterer is truly sorry and the spouse is capable of forgiving them, then the relationship is not doomed. Of course, being truly sorry means never doing it again.

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