Parting can bring sorrow to those with unruly hair

LW#2

Yes, you acted unprofessionally and this was WHY your team member acted the way they did.

One instead of listening to the BOSS you argued with her because she did not like your research proposal.

Then you started to cry because your boss questioned the proposal and maybe because your team member also thought you were wrong.
I have been talked to because a few times my work was flawed but did not argue with a boss or start crying.

We do not know all of the situation, like maybe the boss has had the same issues with this team or team member before.

If the boss is acting in a way that is disruptive, against policies of the company or breaking any labor laws THEN you go to the HR department.
If that is not the case and your boss and you just do not get along then maybe you should find a new job.

Also, this remark reminds me of a childish thing
"but what bothered me was that other proposals were more flawed than ours, but were not attacked in a similar fashion"

Was the boss really attacking your proposal or did you feel like because your proposal was attacked that you were being personally attacked?

Also, you are not the one judging if your proposal or the other team's proposal was more flawed or not, YOUR boss was.

Another thing it is not wrong to show emotion or cry in public but you are in a work place and to start crying because your boss more than likely did not like your proposal is not good for you in the professional sense.

How is LW1's question a problem? One man and his wife "struggled" with this for fifteen years? Fifteen years and neither of them ever came up with the idea to part his hair on the other side, or cut his hair differently? I hope those two geniuses didn't procreate (their offspring might have inherited their father's crippling indecisive-styling disease!). I love how Abby responds to other men out there potentially suffering from this same affliction, as if not knowing which side to part one's hair one is like undiagnosed skin cancer or something.

Karla wrote:

LW#2
Yes, you acted unprofessionally and this was WHY your team member acted the way they did.
One instead of listening to the BOSS you argued with her because she did not like your research proposal.
Then you started to cry because your boss questioned the proposal and maybe because your team member also thought you were wrong.
I have been talked to because a few times my work was flawed but did not argue with a boss or start crying.
We do not know all of the situation, like maybe the boss has had the same issues with this team or team member before.
If the boss is acting in a way that is disruptive, against policies of the company or breaking any labor laws THEN you go to the HR department.
If that is not the case and your boss and you just do not get along then maybe you should find a new job.
Also, this remark reminds me of a childish thing
"but what bothered me was that other proposals were more flawed than ours, but were not attacked in a similar fashion"
Was the boss really attacking your proposal or did you feel like because your proposal was attacked that you were being personally attacked?
Also, you are not the one judging if your proposal or the other team's proposal was more flawed or not, YOUR boss was.
Another thing it is not wrong to show emotion or cry in public but you are in a work place and to start crying because your boss more than likely did not like your proposal is not good for you in the professional sense.

I completely agree with your comments. She was way out of line and very unprofessional.

Never, ever cry in front of your coworkers or boss. Always go to the bathroom if you have to. Even if they know you cried, it will save them the discomfort of watching you make an idiot of yourself and might salvage some of your credibility.

Criticisim happens. Its what you make of it. Learn from it, but don't take it personally. Mistakes happen. She sounds very childish by trying to pass judgement on others work to deflect her own shortcomings.

Abby refers to something called a "hair design consultant". What is this, exactly?

Is it a real job, or it is an inflated term, akin to "vertical transportation engineer"?

Anyone know?

Crying in public is always embarrassing. One day when I was @ church the priest started telling a story about a little girl. The teacher of the girl asked the class if they had any ideas why priests wear pink vestments on the third Sunday of Advent( the third Sunday before Christmas). The girl who was about 6 said, "Because Mary and Joseph wanted a girl?" I was 15 weeks pregnant @ the time and I started to laugh. I sit with the choir and everyone can see me. Laughter turned to tears, tears turned to sobbing, and the lady who I sit next to looked distressed and gave me a tissue. I couldn't easily get out so I sat there. Nobody knew I was pregnant so I told her. She got a big smile on her face and then we both were laughing during the priest's sermon.

It's not unusual for me to sometimes get emotional during church. I've found a way to distract myself and prevent myself from crying. I remember the Roseanne episode where Becky farted while giving a speech to the school. That usually works for me, but I guess pregnancy hormones are a little stronger.

LW should have excused herself....we all remember the famous line, "There's no crying in Baseball!" That also applies to the working world. If you cry you are perceived as vulnerable and weak and childish. It shouldn't be that way but it is.

Lw maybe might want to take a pregnancy test, too.

My guess is that it was sarcasm, but maybe I am giving her too much credit. I thought it was funny, not serious, right?

Polarity wrote:

Abby refers to something called a "hair design consultant". What is this, exactly?
Is it a real job, or it is an inflated term, akin to "vertical transportation engineer"?
Anyone know?

LW2 needs to grow up. Other teams projects were "more flawed" than her own, etc. leads me to believe that she knew she was not prepared from the first. You knew your proposal was flawed but presented it anyway? If your team member had to turn off your microphone, that's a sign that you were going over the top. I know I sound harsh, but emotional outbursts have no place in the business world. Excuse yourself if you are unable to control your emotions.

Instead of hotly defending her proposal when it was attacked, LW2 should have listened closely to the boss's criticisms and thought seriously about them. Then, later, she should have gone to see the boss privately and either said, "I see where my proposal did not meet your expectations, and I want you to know that I will learn from your criticisms and do a better job next time," OR she should have said, "I'm afraid I don't quite understand your criticisms, and I very much want to do the best possible job. Would you be willing to review the proposal with me again and show me specifically where I need to improve for next time?"

Getting emotional--getting angry, defensive, argumentative, or crying--is the worst thing you can do. This person is your boss, and your job is to please her, not contradict her. YOU are the learner here, not your boss. And then, in the end, if you truly believe you cannot meet your boss's expectations, yes--you should look for another job.

Finally, LW2 indicates that this was a team proposal. Yet she belhaved as if she alone "owned" the job. Her behavior embarrassed her team and made them all look bad. She needs to be just as honest nnd forthcoming with her teammates and with her boss, and just as willing to learn from them what it means to work as a member of a team and not as a prima donna.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. The writer sounds very young and immature. Perhaps she has not yet learned the rules of the workplace. She needs to grow up & understand that she is no longer in school, but in the real world. Perhaps she could find someone at work who would be willing to act as a mentor to teach her the ropes.

There's no rule that men "should" part their hair on the left. The reason most do is pretty simple. Most people are right handed. That would include the men's parents. When they were little boys and needed help combing, their folks would use their right hands facing the kids and part the hair on the kids' left. So that became their habit.

LW2: Yes, you were too emotional. Yes, if you want to cry you should excuse yourself. Yes, I could say something deeply _e x ist right now, like: you should probably be home baking cookies instead, but I shall refrain for fear of retaliation by persons such as EEE, Heather of C and Well (aka Gay Steve, aka Kat) and because I guess its wrong to say something like that.

*walks to the corner to face the wall while he recieves his lashings from the forums members*:P

I like to think that I'm pretty level-headed, but when I do get upset, I find it very difficult not to let my emotions take over.

I think it's a family thing. Conflicts are rare, but when they happen, they blow up and then blow over - no grudges.

The only thing I've found that works for me (and not always) is to try to prepare myself for all the "worst case" scenarios and imagine how I'd deal with them.

Usually, if it's a confrontation and I feel ambused, I try to say "I need a little time to gather my thoughts about this. Why don't we meet again in a half hour to discuss it?" rather than blowing up in their face.

Sorry: I should have said "conflicts are rare IN MY FAMILY..."

Jennifer, why DOES a priest wear pink vestments three Sundays before Christmas? Not a Catholic here, so have no idea myself.

Oh, and also what was it that Becky on "Rosanne" did when she farted during a speech? It's been a looong time since I've watched that show.

Rational wrote:

LW2: Yes, you were too emotional. Yes, if you want to cry you should excuse yourself. Yes, I could say something deeply _e x ist right now, like: you should probably be home baking cookies instead, but I shall refrain for fear of retaliation by persons such as EEE, Heather of C and Well (aka Gay Steve, aka Kat) and because I guess its wrong to say something like that.
*walks to the corner to face the wall while he recieves his lashings from the forums members*:P

I would give the chick a break. If you read the from, it says she is from Malaysia. Maybe it is just a simple customs, manners mistake.

That happens a lot with international students. example, When I was at a major university I noticed that some students from a particular area of the world would sit near others on a nearly empty bus unlike most americans who space out pretty far away until forced to crowd

and dont even get me started on tipping waitstaff!

Rational wrote:

LW2: Yes, you were too emotional. Yes, if you want to cry you should excuse yourself. Yes, I could say something deeply _e x ist right now, like: you should probably be home baking cookies instead, but I shall refrain for fear of retaliation by persons such as EEE, Heather of C and Well (aka Gay Steve, aka Kat) and because I guess its wrong to say something like that.
*walks to the corner to face the wall while he recieves his lashings from the forums members*:P

All right, I'll bite: the writer was not identified as female. Purely your assumption. Oops.

Rational wrote:

LW2: Yes, you were too emotional. Yes, if you want to cry you should excuse yourself. Yes, I could say something deeply _e x ist right now, like: you should probably be home baking cookies instead, but I shall refrain for fear of retaliation by persons such as EEE, Heather of C and Well (aka Gay Steve, aka Kat) and because I guess its wrong to say something like that.
*walks to the corner to face the wall while he recieves his lashings from the forums members*:P

*Whip-Smack!" Is that the way you want it?

Seriously. I think LW2's bigger sin was arguing with her supervisor after obviously overstepping the bounds. I mean, what the F did she say to get her teammate to turn off the mic!!??

I supervise a few people, and for the most part it's a no-brainer, I have a good staff. But the one thing I can't stand is insubordination. When I'm talking to you, I expect you to listen. I'm happy to hear your arguments, but not in a wildly confrontation manner.

As Cartman says: "Respect my authoritay!"

LW1's "parting issue" doesn't warrant time or space. BORING.

LW2 sounds pretty immature but all we can go on is what she has written. If the boss truly has a beef with this person and has treated her badly in the past, she isn't expanding on that possibility. Maybe the boss is a butt, maybe not. It just sounds like she is too emotional for the job she has. It also sounds like her days are numbered. I'd be looking for something else if I were her.

With LW3, I have told men in uniform that I appreciated their service for our country. I've also said that even though I don't currently support the war mission as it is now. They've forgotten who Bin Ladin was...or so it seems

ECL wrote:

<quoted text>
All right, I'll bite: the writer was not identified as female. Purely your assumption. Oops.

Show me even one man, straight, bi or gay that has ever referred to the restroom as "The powder room"

I am confident that this is written by a woman

someone wrote:

<quoted text>
I would give the chick a break. If you read the from, it says she is from Malaysia. Maybe it is just a simple customs, manners mistake.
That happens a lot with international students. example, When I was at a major university I noticed that some students from a particular area of the world would sit near others on a nearly empty bus unlike most americans who space out pretty far away until forced to crowd
and dont even get me started on tipping waitstaff!

I did. It happens, people get emotional. However, you shouldn't cry in an open area like that if you ask me, guy or girl. If you are going to cry under those circumstances you should excuse yourself.