Shark bites 17-year-old off New Smyrna Beach

I noticed when it's a slow week for News, the Sharks are biting someone.

We do what we can...

Look. To the SS reporter who keeps calling me, I don't want to discuss this. I'm afraid of putting his foot in my mouth...I mean my flipper in my mouth. Please stop calling me. Buuuuuuurrrrrp. Excuse me. Mmmmm...I can still taste that foot. Tastes like chicken.

Anybody have a toothpick? I have a little bit of surfer foot stuck in my teeth. Did I hear that that wimp passed out in the car on the way to the hospital? That was just a nibble, dude. Nothing like what I did to that 15 year old blonde airheaded surfer girl last year. I took her whole damn leg. Consider yourself lucky, dummy.

You knew I bit one of your buddies a couple of days ago, but you came into my pool anyway. Brilliant!

Surf's up! Come on back for another swim after they stitch you up, tough guy. I'll be waiting.

Shark- You are a complete idoit. Karma is going to one of these days. Just wait.

Dave in California wrote:

Shark- You are a complete idoit. Karma is going to one of these days. Just wait.

Relax, or I'll make the swim over to your coast and snack on you, next.

It seems like it's always in New Smyrna. If I ever go there I'm not going in the ocean.

"The victim was being taking to a hospital"

another genius writer, NOT

Dave's not here man

Dave in California wrote:

Shark- You are a complete idoit. Karma is going to one of these days. Just wait.

You don't speak for me.

And just to prove it, you need to go to a urologist.

You Got BUGS!
Yeah.
Take THAT Mr Smarty Pants.

Put your right foot in
take your right foot out
put your right foot in
and shake the shark about...

Just when you thought it was safe to stay out of the water -----

My dog peeeed on a tree this morning.

Just wanted everyone to know

The shark bit off what?

All I can say for those rocket scientists that want to keep on swimming and surfing when they know that person after person has been bit is at this point, deserve what they get. These Darwin Award winning brainiac surfers, not to mention their parents who are allowing their kids to swim there, really have to take the cake in a lack of intelligence and heightened stupidity.

Thanks SS for trying to take the light off the fact I represent a state I don't live in. Politics is a great business

For five years, two sharks and an dolphin have worked side by side every day as window washers, and every night after work they stopped for a drink. One day, disaster struck, and the dolphin fell to his death. The police came to the site and began asking questions.

"Where does he live?" The sharks shrugged their shoulders. "Is he married?" The sharks didn't know. "What is his name?" The sharks shrugged again. "You worked with this guy for five years and you don't know anything about him?" the cop asked. "I know something about him," one shark volunteered. "He has two assholes." "What are you talking about?" said the cop. "Well," said the shark, "Whenever we go for a drink after work the bartended says,'Here comes the dolphin with the two assholes

Funny Headline "Shark Bites 17 Year Old Off New Smyrna Beach"

Sounds like the shark just came up on shore, found a nice 17 year old and then bit him off the beach.

We have better journalists on my high school newspaper. I was a Journalism major for 2 years in college. My professors would have laughed anyone out of class for such a stupid headline.

Show me the way to go home
Cause I'm tired and I wanna go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it got right to my head...

King Whitee wrote:

My dog peeeed on a tree this morning.
Just wanted everyone to know

What kind of tree was it?