Not Leaving A Tip Rude?

My friends and I went to dinner tonight at Ruby Tuesday's and our waitress was somewhat slow. I had the impression that she might be new or maybe it was due to the fact that the place was PACKED. Sure, we had to wait a little bit to get our dinners but nothing out of the ordinary for a Saturday night. Well when it was time to pay our checks my friend thought that she was just aweful and refused to leave a tip, she said "I just didn't like her and I'm not leaving her a tip". I was so embarrassed, because like I said she was slow but not a bad waitress. They don't get paid a lot and rely on tips and now my friend just stiffed her for not that big deal (in my opinion).

Am I just being sensitive or is it rude to not leave a tip? Okay well I can see if the service was really bad, the food was bad and all that stuff...but it wasn't!! Needless to say I will not be dining out with her anytime soon!! well maybe only somewhere where you don't have to leave a tip!! What is everyones thoughts on this?

...Oh and not sure why it says I'm from Vassar, MI? I'm very much from Erie PA!

Niki wrote:

My friends and I went to dinner tonight at Ruby Tuesday's and our waitress was somewhat slow. I had the impression that she might be new or maybe it was due to the fact that the place was PACKED. Sure, we had to wait a little bit to get our dinners but nothing out of the ordinary for a Saturday night. Well when it was time to pay our checks my friend thought that she was just aweful and refused to leave a tip, she said "I just didn't like her and I'm not leaving her a tip". I was so embarrassed, because like I said she was slow but not a bad waitress. They don't get paid a lot and rely on tips and now my friend just stiffed her for not that big deal (in my opinion).
Am I just being sensitive or is it rude to not leave a tip? Okay well I can see if the service was really bad, the food was bad and all that stuff...but it wasn't!! Needless to say I will not be dining out with her anytime soon!! well maybe only somewhere where you don't have to leave a tip!! What is everyones thoughts on this?

Niki, I think that unless the waitress is bitchy with attitude, or just flat-out ignores you (doesn't come back to check and see if you need anything), or does some sort of rude behavior, you should always leave a tip. Oftentimes, slow or messed-up service isn't the fault of the waitress; it's the kitchen. And as you said, the waitress might have been new on the job. I think your friend was inconsiderate -- and probably just cheap, too.
And you're right -- those servers don't make a lot of money and depend on tips to make a living wage. It would have to be some serious issue, for me, to NOT leave a tip.

i draw the line when i find spit or pubic hair on my food, other than that a tip on a scale of 10 to 20% is my rule.

Bob Oppenheimer wrote:

i draw the line when i find spit or pubic hair on my food, other than that a tip on a scale of 10 to 20% is my rule.

Likewise Bob, but I expect a waiter or waitress to catch something before it makes it to my table. If I'm in that position and the cook hands out the dish, then I'd look it over and say, "I can't take that out." One time I received slimy, runny egg whites with burnt toast for breakfast and I thought, "How could a waiter or waitress even bring that out?!" "You get what you give" is the motto I stand by.

Omniscient1 wrote:

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Likewise Bob, but I expect a waiter or waitress to catch something before it makes it to my table. If I'm in that position and the cook hands out the dish, then I'd look it over and say, "I can't take that out." One time I received slimy, runny egg whites with burnt toast for breakfast and I thought, "How could a waiter or waitress even bring that out?!" "You get what you give" is the motto I stand by.

A lot of times they're so rushed and have so many tables to wait on and meals to bring out (family of four, with main dishes, side dishes and drinks) I don't think they always have TIME to "look it over." If you don't like it -- send it back. Not really the waitress' job to decide if YOU think it's cooked to perfection or not.

Then she/he should look to the kitchen for their tips.

BeckyKnapp wrote:

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A lot of times they're so rushed and have so many tables to wait on and meals to bring out (family of four, with main dishes, side dishes and drinks) I don't think they always have TIME to "look it over." If you don't like it -- send it back. Not really the waitress' job to decide if YOU think it's cooked to perfection or not.

BeckyKnapp wrote:

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A lot of times they're so rushed and have so many tables to wait on and meals to bring out (family of four, with main dishes, side dishes and drinks) I don't think they always have TIME to "look it over." If you don't like it -- send it back. Not really the waitress' job to decide if YOU think it's cooked to perfection or not.

I'm not a picky eater by any means, Becky. I'm referring to runny egg whites and black toast though. My post had nothing to do with perfection, but a server should easily be able to pick up on the obvious appearance of undercooked or over-cooked items.

Omniscient1 wrote:

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I'm not a picky eater by any means, Becky. I'm referring to runny egg whites and black toast though. My post had nothing to do with perfection, but a server should easily be able to pick up on the obvious appearance of undercooked or over-cooked items.

OK, yep ... I'll agree with that. Did you send it back? I couldn't eat "runny eggs." Gross.

BeckyKnapp wrote:

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Niki, I think that unless the waitress is bitchy with attitude, or just flat-out ignores you (doesn't come back to check and see if you need anything), or does some sort of rude behavior, you should always leave a tip. Oftentimes, slow or messed-up service isn't the fault of the waitress; it's the kitchen. And as you said, the waitress might have been new on the job. I think your friend was inconsiderate -- and probably just cheap, too.
And you're right -- those servers don't make a lot of money and depend on tips to make a living wage. It would have to be some serious issue, for me, to NOT leave a tip.

She was slow, but not that bad. All the food was great, we got refills! My friend is a cheapo but a shop-a-holic at the same time, she managed to blow through $100 on a few shirts in the mall so I really don't understand what was the problem was? can't leave a few bucks? I think if service is THAT bad that you can't leave a tip then something should have been said to a manager or something..but no! I did have the impression that she was new, she seemed somewhat nervous but I could be wrong. I am just so bothered by this and refuse to go out to dinner with her anymore!!

For me, tipping starts at 20% and goes down based on the situation - Like Becky said, many times it isn't the servers fault that the kitchen is slow - If the waitress is attentive and responsive, her or she gets the tip regardless of the timing of the meal - I do not like to patronize restaurants that have a "pool" for tipping because it rewards poor attendants and penalizes the great ones

Themis wrote:

For me, tipping starts at 20% and goes down based on the situation - Like Becky said, many times it isn't the servers fault that the kitchen is slow - If the waitress is attentive and responsive, her or she gets the tip regardless of the timing of the meal - I do not like to patronize restaurants that have a "pool" for tipping because it rewards poor attendants and penalizes the great ones

Thanks for agreeing with me. I'm glad to hear that people agree with me on this. I talked to a bunch of people today and they also agreed with me, it was rude! Even when I do get really poor service I will tip a little..I mean after all they are the ones catering to us!

Niki wrote:

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Thanks for agreeing with me. I'm glad to hear that people agree with me on this. I talked to a bunch of people today and they also agreed with me, it was rude! Even when I do get really poor service I will tip a little..I mean after all they are the ones catering to us!

My "pet peeve" waitresses are those who -- I guess in an attempt to provide "excellent service" -- hover at your table, coming over again and again to interrupt your meal and conversation, take empty plates away as soon as you finish the last bite of your food, bring more coffee, push desserts, and ask repeatedly, "Is everything OK?" After the first or second, "Yes, everything's OK," the constant interruptions become annoying. You're trying to talk with your meal partner while the waitress is hovering at your table, asking questions, and brashly cutting off conversation mid-stream by continuously butting in with "something else" to ask you/tell you. You want to scream, "Will you please go away?? We're talking! We'll call you if we need you!"
On the other hand, I love a waitress who is friendly and fun as she gives you the specials and takes your order, and then has the courtesy to leave you alone for a while to eat your meal and talk.

Do you tip if it's a buffet? If so, do you tip 20% or less?

I leave a tip all the time, and never had a waitress who was rude. If I do, she/he will get a dime and that's it.

I tip at least 15% at a buffet. I mean, they ARE cleaning up after you...plus some buffets bring you drinks.

BeckyKnapp wrote:

<quoted text>
My "pet peeve" waitresses are those who -- I guess in an attempt to provide "excellent service" -- hover at your table, coming over again and again to interrupt your meal and conversation, take empty plates away as soon as you finish the last bite of your food, bring more coffee, push desserts, and ask repeatedly, "Is everything OK?" After the first or second, "Yes, everything's OK," the constant interruptions become annoying. You're trying to talk with your meal partner while the waitress is hovering at your table, asking questions, and brashly cutting off conversation mid-stream by continuously butting in with "something else" to ask you/tell you. You want to scream, "Will you please go away?? We're talking! We'll call you if we need you!"
On the other hand, I love a waitress who is friendly and fun as she gives you the specials and takes your order, and then has the courtesy to leave you alone for a while to eat your meal and talk.

I agree that can be really annoying as well, but I guess some people really want a good tip and might think thats how they get it. My dad recently went out to eat and the waitress was on her cell phone!!! can you believe that?? he still left her a tip but that was really rude!

K Mac wrote:

Do you tip if it's a buffet? If so, do you tip 20% or less?

I never knew the "rule" to buffet tipping either!

Jimmy wrote:

I tip at least 15% at a buffet. I mean, they ARE cleaning up after you...plus some buffets bring you drinks.

true, good idea!

harvey wrote:

I leave a tip all the time, and never had a waitress who was rude. If I do, she/he will get a dime and that's it.

A Mercury head dime?