Why do alcoholics blame others gor their problems

Posted in the Madisonville Forum

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Ashlyn

Washington, DC

#1 Oct 30, 2011
Just really wanting to know
Been down that road

United States

#2 Oct 31, 2011
They know their drinking is the real problem. They live for drinking above everrything else in life, and in order to try and make it seem right in their minds even though they know it's wrong, they blame everyone else, take on a poor me attitude, and use it as an excuse to keep on drinking. That's why it will always be someone else's fault for one's alcoholism.
Been down that road

United States

#3 Oct 31, 2011
Been down that road wrote:
They know their drinking is the real problem. They live for drinking above everrything else in life, and in order to try and make it seem right in their minds even though they know it's wrong, they blame everyone else, take on a poor me attitude, and use it as an excuse to keep on drinking. That's why it will always be someone else's fault for one's alcoholism.
Usually, it is the person closest to the alcoholic who gets blamed for all the problems because that person is the one who loves them the most and who begs them to stop drinking.
jaj

Madisonville, KY

#4 Oct 31, 2011
yeah and the reason for them drinking is prolly the closet ones to them, don't try and make they're lives a living hell everyday and then when they find a way to cope with it still tell them that they are a piece of sh!t, so we r damned if we do and damned if we don't
Been down that road

United States

#5 Oct 31, 2011
jaj wrote:
yeah and the reason for them drinking is prolly the closet ones to them, don't try and make they're lives a living hell everyday and then when they find a way to cope with it still tell them that they are a piece of sh!t, so we r damned if we do and damned if we don't
Prime example. Excuses.
Ashlyn

Washington, DC

#6 Oct 31, 2011
We have been together for ever but the person has drank long befor we even met. And now it's my fault he started drinking in the first place
know

Washington, DC

#7 Oct 31, 2011
Ashlyn wrote:
We have been together for ever but the person has drank long befor we even met. And now it's my fault he started drinking in the first place
I would say get out of that relationship. I know its easier said than done, especially when you love someone, but sometimes that's what it takes for someone to stop drinking. They have to hit bottom and lose the people they love to finally realize they are hurting people. If you keep hanging around and let him blame you for his alcohol problem, most likely he will never stop. And why would he, if he doesn't have to pay any consequences? And most importantly, get out before you bring children into that environment. If he really loves you, he will seek help and put forth an effort to get you back.
Ashlyn

Washington, DC

#8 Oct 31, 2011
Well you see thats the big problem, we have kids and he still drinks and has made it to the point that I can't afford to leave. Yea a big mess indeed
know

Washington, DC

#9 Oct 31, 2011
Oh I see, yeah that does make it tough. If you have a family member or friend that would let you Stay for a while that would be good. Or if his family would let you Stay for a while. If he thinks he has you stuck amd not able to leave, I would guess he won't stop drinking. Almost always, they have to lose what's important to them before they are willing to change. And if having kids isn't enough for him to change, odds are its going to take you leaving with the kids. And don't just threaten to leave, that's not enough. You have to stand behind the threats. I don't know you, but I hate that you and your kids are dealing with this. I had a family member who dealt with this for 20 years and never left her husband. Her ending wasn't so good because her husband died from complications due to alcoholism.
Ashlyn

Washington, DC

#10 Oct 31, 2011
know wrote:
Oh I see, yeah that does make it tough. If you have a family member or friend that would let you Stay for a while that would be good. Or if his family would let you Stay for a while. If he thinks he has you stuck amd not able to leave, I would guess he won't stop drinking. Almost always, they have to lose what's important to them before they are willing to change. And if having kids isn't enough for him to change, odds are its going to take you leaving with the kids. And don't just threaten to leave, that's not enough. You have to stand behind the threats. I don't know you, but I hate that you and your kids are dealing with this. I had a family member who dealt with this for 20 years and never left her husband. Her ending wasn't so good because her husband died from complications due to alcoholism.
I'm sorry that your family member went through the loss of her husband,
I've figured a way out and not letting him know, It's just going to rake some time. Since he drank away all our savings an all. But hopefully the plan comes sooner then later.
Hahaha

United States

#11 Oct 31, 2011
know wrote:
<quoted text> I would say get out of that relationship. I know its easier said than done, especially when you love someone, but sometimes that's what it takes for someone to stop drinking. They have to hit bottom and lose the people they love to finally realize they are hurting people. If you keep hanging around and let him blame you for his alcohol problem, most likely he will never stop. And why would he, if he doesn't have to pay any consequences? And most importantly, get out before you bring children into that environment. If he really loves you, he will seek help and put forth an effort to get you back.
I used to b a alcholic myself and to b edd totally honest wen I hit rock bottom I figuted thete was.no reason to stop I lost everything the best method is to help them dlowly try to suggest help be there for support thats wat got me thru not sayin tgat I wont ever drink again cause I will bit they will learn their limits the people they blame r the closest to them n most likelt had a major role n thier life I srarted drinkin constantly wen me n my x split up n shes the one I blamed it all on
Ashlyn

Philadelphia, PA

#12 Oct 31, 2011
Hahaha wrote:
<quoted text>
I used to b a alcholic myself and to b edd totally honest wen I hit rock bottom I figuted thete was.no reason to stop I lost everything the best method is to help them dlowly try to suggest help be there for support thats wat got me thru not sayin tgat I wont ever drink again cause I will bit they will learn their limits the people they blame r the closest to them n most likelt had a major role n thier life I srarted drinkin constantly wen me n my x split up n shes the one I blamed it all on
So my hubby drinks alot and then starts putting u's down. Has even been abusive. I just wish he would stop.
Hahaha

United States

#13 Oct 31, 2011
Well let him kno ita destroying yalls relationship n if he cared hed atleast slo.down.... Tell him to do rehab n that ur there for him
Ashlyn

Philadelphia, PA

#14 Oct 31, 2011
He doesn't care. Tells me that he would kill himself I we left. Then says oh yea you can't leave. I spend all your money on this whiskey, cause your a this and that. Blah blah blah. If he just grew up and stayed away from the money and the bottle all would be great. Cause when he's sober he's an awesome guy.
lmao1

Elkton, KY

#15 Oct 31, 2011
when a man does the laundry, bathes the kids, cooks supper, and works....then the wife dont do shit...a drink here and there would seem appropriate........
Mr Helper

Greenville, KY

#16 Oct 31, 2011
Because they are drunk all the time, glad I could clear this up
Ashlyn

Philadelphia, PA

#17 Oct 31, 2011
lmao1 wrote:
when a man does the laundry, bathes the kids, cooks supper, and works....then the wife dont do shit...a drink here and there would seem appropriate........
If he did that it wouldn't be a bad thing for home to drink, but since all he does is works parties and drinks, then th yelling and screaming starts cause he forgot to buy more whiskey or a toy was left on the floor or he didn't make enuf Money at work because he leaves early all the time. So now there's no money for the house payment or for the lights, or ummm oh yea FOOD for the KID So yes drinking is a problem
Hahaha

United States

#18 Oct 31, 2011
Id sign his @$$ to rehab n get him help heck send him to jail if u got to
know

Washington, DC

#19 Nov 1, 2011
Hahaha wrote:
<quoted text>
I used to b a alcholic myself and to b edd totally honest wen I hit rock bottom I figuted thete was.no reason to stop I lost everything the best method is to help them dlowly try to suggest help be there for support thats wat got me thru not sayin tgat I wont ever drink again cause I will bit they will learn their limits the people they blame r the closest to them n most likelt had a major role n thier life I srarted drinkin constantly wen me n my x split up n shes the one I blamed it all on
if there wasn't kids involved, sticking around for support might not be a bad thing, but they have innocent children who should NOT be around this everyday. Their little lives are being changed due to living with the yelling and fighting. She does not need to Stay with him and keep those kids in that environment. Those kids should be top priority, and their childhood is being ruined. Put the kids first and get out!!!
blo

Madisonville, KY

#20 Dec 18, 2011
keep alcohol and drugs away from your childrens lives
dont spend your money on alcohol when your children could use extra pairs of shoes or a pretty dress instead
dont let your children wake up in their sleep hearing drunks in the house
yeah drinks can be popular and loved but why dont you raise the bar a little

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