CallingBSonThis wrote:
"Don't blame the men" Really? They know screwing a woman could result in a pregnancy. It takes two to tango AND reproduce. He could at least be a damn gentleman and offer to pay for the abortion if he won't pay child support. Dumping the blame on only one side is stupid. Must have been written by a man-child.
If you can't feed it then don't breed with it. Don't whine about having six kids and four stupid "baby mommas" if you couldn't bother with a damn condom. I don't enjoy higher taxes paying for your bastards that you didn't want to begin with. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
I won't let the guys completely off the hook, but in my opinion the woman DOES have more blame here.
Its just biology - she is the one to conceive, she is the one with the SOLE decision to have the child or not, she is the one to raise the child (and the courts will almost always side with her unless she's abusive or addicted to drugs).
Women are the ones to "have" the children, both in and out of the body. If we're going to say, "my body, my choice," then we gotta go that extra step and say, "my responsibility."
If a man is unwilling to be a father, then he should protect himself - end of story.
But its time that women simply need to look around and acknowledge the world around them. Your baby daddy may not always be there for you and your child. As unfair as it is, its a fact of life.
Its not right that a woman must think to herself, "I may have to do this all by myself." Its not right, but its a possibility even if she's married to what she believes to be the best man in the world. He could always let her down no matter how wonderful he's been in the past.
Women are doing themselves a grave disservice by pretending a man is going to step up to the plate and be the one to use b.c., or else step up otherwise by providing mountains of money in child support, picking up the kid for visits every other day, providing diapers and formula left and right, and stay your best friend forever.
Its just rarely ever as perfect as all that.
And I'm not man-bashing at all - I'm not trying to suggest that men will *always* let their baby mama, girlfriends, wives down.
Heck, you can have the most perfect guy in the world - honest, hardworking, raking in the dough, married to you for years and never laid an eye on another woman....but he could get hit by a bus tomorrow! What are you going to do if he's no longer around?
I'm just saying that its always a possibility. If the woman is going to be the one to put in the pregnancy, the morning sickness, the worrying, the swollen feet, the labor, the doctor bills, the sleepless nights, the projectile vomit, the explosive diarrhea, milk stains, food thrown on the walls, crying, tantruming, daycare bills, driving to school, helping with homework, kissing boo-boos...
She needs to be realistic BEFORE she becomes pregnant and understand that the perfect nuclear family is RARE these days. She might have to do it all by herself. If she's not willing to do it by herself, then she needs to get herself some Fort Knox protective birth control ASAP.
Its HER life that's going to be affected more, not his.
If it were the other way around, I'd be saying the same thing about the fellas.
You just can't live life relying on someone else all the time.
Cancer