Child support imperiled: More jobless parents seek break from c...

Yesi wrote:

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I am a single mother as well, and don't complaint. What you need to do is get a job and help out with the expenses. In reality a child doesn't really needs $600.00 per month of assistance. What are you buying that child? play station, all she wants. Remember you can never replace the love you can give your child with material things. For this reason I got of fthe couch and went to school got a job and now make more than my ex and I don't need his freakin money.!

you are a shining example of what could be for all divorced women with kids.
you love your kid enough to know that they don't need every toy, video game or designer jeans, they need a parent who loves them.

you love your kid enough to show them by example.

going to school and getting a well paying job and supporting yourself will show your child clearly that you are an independent self reliant woman with good self esteem.

excellent things to teach your child!

you go girl!!!

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW I COULD HANDLE GETTING BACK TO COURT BECAUSE I OWE BACK SUPPORT BECAUSE I WAS IN JAIL THE LAST 10 YEARS. I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START AND WHEN I CALL I GET THE RUN AROUND AND GET NO WHERE. I NEED HELP TO GET MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK. CAN ANY ONE HELP ME OUT WITH SO INFORMATION? LET ME KNOW. jttheyungin@yahoo.com

maple syrup wrote:

This is a very real problem. My husband, who lost his job last fall, is paying 40% of his unemployment benefits in child support for an 18-year-old daughter who no longer lives with her mother. The mother continues to collect child support on her daughter, who lives on her own and has a full time job. Court hearings to address this have run into an endless cycle of continuances and delays, each time adding to our legal expenses. In the meantime, our family of four is living on food stamps, charity, and the remains of the unemployment check. By contrast, my ex-husband never paid child support for our children, but simply left town, with no consequences. There are countless situations like these, where the law is letting families down. The current legal system, in regards to child support and alimony, has numerous flaws, and needs a drastic overhaul.

I have good news for you, your husband can bring his daughter to court to stop payments or stop payments in general if she is no longer in college. The rule of law for child support is, it ends whenever the child reaches 18 or graduates high school.. Which ever happens first, the only way you can keep collecting is if the “Adult” and I really don’t want to say this but so called ‘child” is no longer in high school.

Payments of child support can continue if and only if that adult is going to college and only till the age of 23. Keep in mind, if the Adult is going to college and living on her own and she still wants Child Support you can request payments made right to her and that the Mother of the Child also pay support since the daughter no longer lives with the mother. Then the daughter would have to come and make a motion to stop all child support.

I have seen if happen a couple times at the Bridgeview Court house a deadbeat mother who lives off misery and that she is queen shit because she is a “mother” being told she has to pay child support? Oh, such satisfaction brought a tear to my eye.

However, if your husband choose to not stop child support payments and he is still paying through the state and no other request was made to renew it that he might be owed back pay from the mother. That also does happen, unless he is in the arrears at the time his daughter turned 18 and graduated High School and she keep taking the money and spending it, the state will come back and request that money back.

Ah, a mother in the arrears such satisfying talk.

Just so you know though, the Democratic Party you all voted for wants to make it law to require you to pay for child adult children’s medical insurance till there 30 and also want to increase child support till age 28.

beatrice wrote:

I think some men forget that they're not paying the money to their ex-wife - the money is for their KIDS. You can walk away from the marriage, but you can't walk away from supporting your children.
And if the child support levels are adjusted, the custodial parent (usually the mom) has to make up the difference.
Sad all the way around.

That’s incorrect, the money you give does not have to be accounted for and can be and often is used for whatever the mother wishes. There is no accountability, there is no fairness. The father is to account for every and yet the mother can do as she pleases and get on state assistance and get free healthcare with the child well the father is supposed to pay up.

Basically, this is the support the Support the Mother in whatever she chooses.

just another one wrote:

As a single parent of two young children that was laid off myself after 15 years in Corp America and where the father just took off to another country, even continent, to be 'free' from child support matters, I have little sumpathy. Those parents that have custody of the children (mother or father does not matter) cannot tell their children I cannot feed and clothes you today, because I lost my job. No, we make it work. In the end lots of these families will end up on the public system while the non custodial parents have a blast to ignore their responsibilities.
It is hard enough to raise children, it is a lot more harder to do it without support.
In my example the father took off shortly after the birth his kids, quit his job, liquidated his properties, cancelled all credit cards, accounts and so forth. He owes his children already tens of thousands of dollars.
The child support enforcement unit says, woops sorry nothing we can do since he is out of the country. Wrong, the US has an agreement with that country to chase these loosers down, plus they know the place of his new employment. I guess it is to much work for the child support enforcement unit to get a handle on it. Besides telling me every months how much money he owes me, I have not seen any advantage of having it handed over to them. It is made way to easy here for those kind of characters to not take care of their responsibilities and it will break the systems neck.
Yes, I do know there are parents out there that do care and help support, but that percentage is so little, it sure does not stand out.
I wish there would be more consequences for these folks... blocking a fishing and hunting license is really not going to do it.
I am wishing every child the best and a good experience to grow up with both parents in their life.... just how it should be.

I am thinking of leaving the country as well. A Judge recently ordered me to pay more then 20% of my income for one child when I lost my job due to my company outsourcing to India and then at the same time I got in a huge car accident and to make matters worse, I contracted the swine flu. In these three months time this summer, I got a summons from my ex who I was supposed to marry who only got with me to have a baby since she was a homosexual and thought if we were married she’d also have a nice alimony check as well as child support.

Seeing, she got off her insurance she has free Government paid insurance with my son and is one of the meanest people I have ever met. I have a child support order from another mother but guess what, that son lives with me well that mother lives off the state and collects money from the state well I take care of all the bills and struggle.

The system is completely against men, no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do in this country, you lose.

They do not account that 70% of the workforce lost in this recession were male jobs and if you lose your job, you have to literally fight for modification because the Liberal Activist Obama Supporting Judge does not understand you have no income or what the law says, you need to do what the ‘mother’ feels is right.

Why stay in this country? Liberals pushed and taxed almost all industry out of country? Men are being subjected and put in modern day chains, yeah I don’t blame a man for wanting freedom.

My son comes up to me all the time and thanks me for being a good father and even though I don’t like him doing this, he comes and tells me how bad of a parent his mother is and how he never wants to be around her and literally tells her that to her face. The gay girl seen that she my other son is hardly over, basically she keeps everything one sided.

just another one wrote:

looking at these comments here from folks that can only express their hurt about paying their ex....
if you want to take care of your children and do not pay the ex, than get your butt up and take on full or joint custody and keep the children with you.... let's see how long you are willing to do that.... so those folks out there that think they are paying the ex/itch, whatever you want to call the one that YOU decided not to use protection with, wuit playing the victim.... your children are!

Yeah, I am not sure if you’re a male or female but you sound like a female. You see, men don’t get the same treatment when filing an Order of Protection and Full Custody. In Illinois Joint Custody does not exist but you can work it out to be something like that.

My first son had evidence of abuse from his mother and let’s just say one time it was so bad the ER literally gave him Vicodin. I took her to court and filed for Full Custody and all the Judge could do is preach,“Biology.”

Oh yeah then he sent us to Arbitration and he made excuses for the mother saying that his mother gave him wine and through forks at him and he turned out okay.

Mich wrote:

Yeah, there are always cheats on both sides. I agree if the rubric is 20% of income, it is 20% of whatever income at that point. If ex has to take on an extra job that is the breaks that even a married family would have to make.
But non-custodial parent has to try to get a job. What judges don't want to see is a job loss turn into a retirement solely for the purpose of avoiding paying child support. And some parents do that, just as others flee the state or country. And if your new joy pays more, then it is 20% of that new salary, not going back to the old rubric. It cuts both ways.

Basically how it's supposed to work is if there is a certain precentage change to an income either party can request for modifaction sadly though they only happily raise it if you have an increase in income.

Chicrooko wrote:

To all you people on this board who are trying to come up with excuses for not paying or that the system is broken etc etc. Remeber this is YOUR responsibility, YOUR responsibility. What do you want from the courts and the judges? You are the ones that don't know how to get along, take responsibility etc etc. to the point where someone had to do it for you. Take responsibility and support your children, you brought them into this world. You laid your bed, now lay in it, and don't place the blame on anyone else.

Your throwing, around “children” a lot but as well know the system is not designed to help the children rather to the mother. If so then their would be accountability on how the funds are spent like getting early Social Security.

In most instances children get or never see the funds from child support and they could be used like Black Women use those funds in their community like using that check to get their hair and nails ‘did’ as they say.

William wrote:

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This is the problem with public perception. I did not walk away from my kids. In fact, I've spent over $45K in legal fees to try and remain a part of their lives. I simply couldn't tolerate the abuse I was receiving from my ex any longer.
And as for the money being for the kids, why then does my ex have a brand new $35K SUV, corrective eye surgery, over $6K in professional photography equipment, a refinished basement, and a number of other luxuries she's afforded in the last 3 years? My kids still come to my house in pants with holes in them. Oh wait, she just recently started patching them, I stand corrected.
No child support is not for the children. If it was, there would be oversight on what it was spent on, there would be provisions in law to allow us to have CS applied to things like 529 plans, and other similar direct support mechanisms. We would be allowed a budget for expenses for the children while they are our homes. If the funds were dedicated to the children, both parents would be required to apply a level of their pay towards their children to ensure they sustained adequate support, not just the non-custodial parent.

I have been through so much with my children and I also have spent a significant portion of my income to defend myself and my children’s rights. It has gotten to the point where I am almost a working slave to the state and my ex who admittedly is a lesbian woman who just wanted a child and would say and do anything for it and an extra check.

If it ever got to the point were I lost my job, couldn’t make any further payments, I would just leave the country. The work here in Chicago is gone. Everyone is outsourcing and if someone is hiring they hire at a low wage and tell a Liberal Activist Judge you need a modification.

I myself have not dated an American Woman for three years and it has been one of the most fulfilling relationships I have ever had. A woman who puts family first and actually goes out and does things to surprise you ever day on how much she cares. Needless to say after the crap I been through with Western woman or American Women I have held off a lot of things including marriage but I am thinking of leaving country. I take care of my oldest even though on the books he lives with her. He lives with me full time and sees his mother maybe twice a month now but she still gets child support payments and receives states assistances.

I couldn’t leave him

If I were to run, I would do so and not look back. I don't want too but there is only so much a person takes....

For any man who would Judge me for even considering leaving, you never had to go through this pain and suffering and if you are then maybe your a masochist

William wrote:

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In January of this year, Attorney Gary Schlesinger testified before the Illinois Family Law Committee that this vary practice was being done in family courts, "to spin the litigation in the client's favor".
Your experience is not far from the truth.

I was sitting down in the Arbitration office last year listening to women coming in for guidance and advice and filing for certain petitions and the Chicago Cop assisting them would tell them what to say and what looks better even if something is not the truth and making them swear to it. Basically, they would say whats going on and then he’d tell them what would sound better and what to leave out, disgusting.

Skinny Black Guy wears plan clothes but wears a badge dangling from his neck. You see him going in and out for a smoke.

Mich wrote:

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Would you really? See, I tried it your way with my ex who swore he'd help pay all those things and did mediated arbitration instead of via a judge. It lasted 3 months; or until he got the first bill for his HALF of the child care (the one other parents said, wow, good care that CHEAP!?!)
So had to go to court to do it the old-fashioned way. But I actually keep records, in case he ever tries something like you would pull about expenses.
I can account for every penny spent on his children. If he would actually have paid according to mediation, it would have been fine, I sure would've preferred it over the acrimony of court (one reason I was pleased he wanted to mediate it at first). But he had is own views on what was his "fair share" and it had no basis in reality.
ash can say he says he knows what he'd do, but he can't really know unless he's in the situation.

If a family cannot afford lessons or a new TV then they wouldn’t get it. But no when a single mother wants the father to pay separately from the child support things she wants, we must respect that, forget it may not be in his budget. It’s not in your budget and yeah he should be able to pay for whatever

Men, time to declare Civil War?

JUSTIN T wrote:

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW I COULD HANDLE GETTING BACK TO COURT BECAUSE I OWE BACK SUPPORT BECAUSE I WAS IN JAIL THE LAST 10 YEARS. I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START AND WHEN I CALL I GET THE RUN AROUND AND GET NO WHERE. I NEED HELP TO GET MY LIFE BACK ON TRACK. CAN ANY ONE HELP ME OUT WITH SO INFORMATION? LET ME KNOW. jttheyungin@yahoo.com

Do as Valjean did in Les misérables.

He was a convict and a parole he was to report in, he would never get a good job with his history and his debt would follow him forever until he lost himself and began a new. That was the dream, that was America to be able to start fresh. Pay your dues and start over, no longer.

A Judge by Federal Law cannot reserve any arrears its an old 80s law and the only one a Liberal Activist Judge will even listen too since it goes along with their agenda.