Missouri child-support law change touches many issues

Rebel Yell wrote:

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While I agree with you 100%, there has to be a stopping point of enforceable obligation. The child support system needs a complete restructure for sure. Anytime you have politicians involved in something, it's going to be screwed up.

i live in jackson county and my childs father is roughly 43000 behimd in child support i get absolutly no help from the state in collecting this and make to much for any assistance i was told by my case worker to quit my job work at mcdonalds and get on welfare if i want them to be able to help tell me what makes sence about that please

missy layton wrote:

<quoted text> single mother means you do everything for your child that the absent parent chooses to selfishly ignor take them where they need to go, get them what they need and sacrafise everything you have for the sake of them not feeling neglected by the parent that doesnt want to do there job any other questions

Maybe in your case, but I know dads that would love to do that but the custodial parent is too busy being spiteful rather than doing whats best for the child.

I have three kids of my own and two stepchildren. My kids can talk to there any time they want and see them whenever they want. But when we want to see the other to kids it is fight with their mother. She makes excuses about not having gas money when we pay her $1200 a month. The court does nothing to help us see the kids. But if we are slow in turning in check and I mean a few days late they threaten us liens and taking our tax returns. Neither of kids dads pays anything. Does it bother me HELL YES but i dont keep them from seeing the kids because that is childish. Parents need to step and see how they are not only hurting the other parent but how they are hurting the kids by not letting themm be in both their lives.

StepMom wrote:

I have three kids of my own and two stepchildren. My kids can talk to there any time they want and see them whenever they want. But when we want to see the other to kids it is fight with their mother. She makes excuses about not having gas money when we pay her $1200 a month. The court does nothing to help us see the kids. But if we are slow in turning in check and I mean a few days late they threaten us liens and taking our tax returns. Neither of kids dads pays anything. Does it bother me HELL YES but i dont keep them from seeing the kids because that is childish. Parents need to step and see how they are not only hurting the other parent but how they are hurting the kids by not letting themm be in both their lives.

Absolutely agree!!!! Some dads just don't want to be a father. Thats a shame, because some day they may change their mind and that child may not want a dad by then. However, I applaud you for letting the kids see their dad even if he isn't doing his part as a father. Not many women do this. In our case, the dad does pay and also never misses his visit times, but he wants more time. Mom will not give him any extra time, not even an hour. She will not let him come over for a quick birthday party or anything. If it's not on the court ordered visitation, forget it! Dad is laid off in winter, and offers to keep the child when she works, but no, she would rather leave him with strangers. And dad is a very good dad, very responsible. Mom is still mad over the divorce and this is the only way to get back at dad. Sad!

hmmm wrote:

<quoted text> Absolutely agree!!!! Some dads just don't want to be a father. Thats a shame, because some day they may change their mind and that child may not want a dad by then. However, I applaud you for letting the kids see their dad even if he isn't doing his part as a father. Not many women do this. In our case, the dad does pay and also never misses his visit times, but he wants more time. Mom will not give him any extra time, not even an hour. She will not let him come over for a quick birthday party or anything. If it's not on the court ordered visitation, forget it! Dad is laid off in winter, and offers to keep the child when she works, but no, she would rather leave him with strangers. And dad is a very good dad, very responsible. Mom is still mad over the divorce and this is the only way to get back at dad. Sad!

That is same thing that is going on in our situation.We ask for more time and she says no. We get to talk to the kids maybe two or three minutes a couple days a week. We are close to 9 hours from the kids and dont know what goes on in their lives everyday. And when you ask her about it she says that it is none of our business they are fine. I feel that child support should be regulated. She spends the money on herself and her boyfriend. The kids never have nice clothes or any that fit. But she has new jewelry and clothes. When parents like that are taking the money and spending it on the kids and paying for things they need I feel the state should step in and make sure that the kids are not in need of anything.

Im sorry I meant to say they get the money and NOT spend it on the kids the state should step in.

"i was told by my case worker to quit my job work at mcdonalds and get on welfare if i want them to be able to help tell me what makes sence about that please"~Missy Layton

I am an unemployed father of two. I have physical custody of one of the children. The last job I had DFS garnished me down to $1 an hour. When I complained a worker told me that the government would not work with me and that I would be better off quitting my job, laying down, and applying for benefits. She asked me not to give her name. And since she gave me the best advice that I have gotten from the government to date, I am going to honor that request.

Mom has five kids now (three more kids with two more men WHILE STILL MARRIED TO ME!) and she has never once been to a Parent/Teacher conference. Just thought I would share that now I get $339 a month in food stamps and $228 a month in cash from uncle sam. Living off the tax payers is a better life style than we had working for a living.

This is exactly what I know is the problem with the court system. You keep doing what your doing.. I commend you for beating what is the most unjust system in the US today. Missouri is rediculous to non-custodial parents..

"I commend you for beating what is the most unjust system in the US today. Missouri is rediculous to non-custodial parents.."

I really don't consider this beating the system. Beating the system would be me getting custody of both of my kids from the woman that neglected and abused them from the time that they were small.

listen people child support is a right for the fother to pay its not a right of the mother to recive you have a right to see your child you also have a right to not see your child and not pay child support but i want to see my kids and no i dont want to give the unimployed mother money so she can go out to eat everyday at applebees and leave the child with gandma but hey it not always like that but the fact is that its hard time and i think there should be ajustments with how much you have to pay per week based on how much you had made also i had both my parints togather and i tell you they didnt spend 400 a month on me and you say room bored and car well if you sisnt have a kid you still have all the same bills onley diffrents is daycare but its mo there is some one home to watch the child also when i turned 18 my parnts didnt give me money hell i got a job when i was 15 and payed for my own stuff with in reson they still get me stuff for my birth day listin take it in i agree with everyone and really if you just try to stay together with the person you had a kid with we wouldnt be there o and single moms can suckit couse i have two babysmommas and they buy far dont take care of them selfs so dont lie to me and dont lie to your self.....
ps now im pissed off see what you did

unknown dad wrote:

I am paying support for a child that I was never told about until she was 7yrs.old.How can it be legal to hide the existence of my only child for all that and still do so today,and the only right that I have is to pay.Her mother has made any type of relationship with her impossible,all I am is a paycheck&spurmdonor.I have no rights as a parent&never have.

The child will be the one that suffers because the mom is selfish she was stupid and shared her body and was not sure who the kid's dad was had probally two many different men two pick from

I have two girls. My relationship with the first mother is friendly second not so great. My thought is this custodial parents should be held accountable for halfof the child support by reciepts or some type of audit.There is another issue is that the system does not give the non custodial tax break for being current even 1/4th would allow the non custodial to progress thier life to help the child. i believethe system is one sided and allows diadvantages.

Where does Missouri stand on the issue of back child support?
My daughter lives in Belton, Mo. Her ex is 60,000. behind in child support. In the 14 years since it's been ordered, he's paid 1 1/2 payments. My 17 year old grandaughter moved in with him 5 months ago. His wages are being garnished as of last week. My daughter just received notice from his attorney that since he has their daughter with him, he should not be obligated to pay back support.
I live in Texas, and the Attorney General here is known to be extremely tough on non-support payers. It doesn't seem this is the case in MO.

Here's one for the books....My Fiance has been divorced since 1998. He is responsible for 1/2 the medical bills as well as child support...all normal stuff right? He has paid his child support faithfully every week for the last 10 years. His oldest turned 18 in May of 2008, started college that fall but flunked out by the end of the first semester. We gave him some time to see what he would do, all the while continuing to pay support for him, thinking he might go back to college. When that didnt happen after he turned 19 my fiance petitioned the court to stop paying support for him. His ex wife agreed, signed the order and support was stopped. Less than 30 days later he was served with court papers that she was suing him for 50% of medical bills from the beginning of their divorce (10 years ago) to the present time. He has paid 50% of any bill he was aware of...which was only for braces back in 2003 for both kids and bills that just started coming to our house the beginning of 2009.(She is lying and saying he has never paid anything but we have proof.) How can women do this?? There needs to be some sort of statue of limitations on collecting medical bills. As a woman this makes me so mad. I have a son and I let his dad know each and every time something medical comes up. I know she is doing this because he was legally allowed to emancipate his son and this is just a blantant mis-use of our Justice system. The old saying "You snooze, You Lose" comes to mind here. We are going to fight this as far as we can and hopefully set some sort of example for the rest of the "vendictive" women out there. Let me point out that I would feel totally different if my fiance didnt uphold his responsibilty when it came to his kids. Shoot I wouldnt even be marrying this man. But he has from the bottom of his heart done everything he thought he was supposed to do. His ex just seems to be a very unhappy woman.

Here's a new one! I devorced when my children were 5, 8, and 11. The ex decided after 3 yrs he would rather quit his good job then support his kids. I chose to be the best mom I could to my children and went out and got two part time jobs besides working a full time job! Never asked him OR anyone else for a dime! My kids are fgrown adults now, they are wonderful upstanding citizens, educated themselves without anyones help. They are extremely independent people and I admire them deeply! I pat myself on the back everytime I spend time with one of them. Stop the whining and teach your children to become independent!!!!!

I just stumbled on to this thread and am appalled at the anger and lack of caring.I am also pretty fed up with the reputation a lot of the dads get. I pay child support,medical & dental,clothes, gasoline, electricity, phones and etc. to the custodial parent. She is a drunk, druggie and promiscuous. She works some but doesn't report any income. My big complaint about the law is that the custodial parent should be accountable for child support money and how it is spent. What she gets goes for PARTYING and booze. The oldest child is in college and could use her part of the child support. If we have to continue to pay child support for college age children, they should get the money to help with expenses. So add that to what I already pay and there are 2 small children still at home. Something needs fixing.I never have any time to spend with children because I must work almost 24 hours a day to meet all expenses.

I just stumbled on this thread too and have a question for all the experts involved....I am a Dad who was left to care for his disabled son (age 15, no speak, incontinent but gentle and appreciative) when da mudda took the daughter 16, brilliant) and got permission to break our decree and move to an ajoining state (AR)(da mudda is an atty). The one thing I got was an order for child support of around $205/mo. She paid one month and then cried poor for a year or two, then said she went bankrupt and the debt was discharged. Some say this is not possible...anybody know for sure???

"Thank You in advaince for your assistance...."

My husband has never been late on a child support payment. He is having major back surgery and will not be able to work for a minimum of 8 weeks and up to 12 or more. Child support enforcement says that he still has to pay child support even though he can not work.They said the only way we can get it stopped is if the mother stops it. She does not want to work more than five hours a week so we are screwed.

Yeah! Take away those deadbeat's drivers license and their ability to earn an income to support their child/children. In fact, lets throw them in jail and let the taxpayers support their children!
I think if you were to take a historical look at this issue you would find that the free love liberal idiocy of the 60s was the beginning of the end of the American family.
If you are going to have unprotected sex then you had better be prepared to take responsibility for the potential consequences (a child). That goes for both parties.

A Dad wrote:

I just stumbled on to this thread and am appalled at the anger and lack of caring.I am also pretty fed up with the reputation a lot of the dads get. I pay child support,medical & dental,clothes, gasoline, electricity, phones and etc. to the custodial parent. She is a drunk, druggie and promiscuous. She works some but doesn't report any income. My big complaint about the law is that the custodial parent should be accountable for child support money and how it is spent. What she gets goes for PARTYING and booze. The oldest child is in college and could use her part of the child support. If we have to continue to pay child support for college age children, they should get the money to help with expenses. So add that to what I already pay and there are 2 small children still at home. Something needs fixing.I never have any time to spend with children because I must work almost 24 hours a day to meet all expenses.

I said the same in topix about accountibilty wishwe could get some signatures to take to rep. and get some laws passed