Chris Butler

I’ve always wanted to mess around with the Federal government, so a seat in Congress would be really cool. I’m kind of busy right now being Master of the Universe and ask you to vote instead for my disciple, Tulsi Gabbard. Really, it’s OK, I will tell her what to do after she gets elected and she’ll obey every command from her Jagad Guru because she’s been brainwashed since childhood (she even drinks my footbath water).

Trust me, it will be a lot more efficient because I have my own agenda and will never need to bother you for your input. It was nice for you voters to give me seats in the Hawaii senate and the Honolulu City Council, and a congressional seat will be a nice addition to my collection. Thanks for understanding that all my assets are in other people’s names (like my three Lanikai homes and all my businesses). Repeat after me little people, Hare Krishna Hare Krishna …

Chris Butler says "Don't blow my cover. Tulsi might lose to someone qualified."

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