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Dolores
AOL
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Judged:
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I can't believe this. I'm too ashamed to even talk to friends and family. My husband has been unhappy with my 25 weight gain over the past two years (among other things). Two weeks ago, he left after an argument. His parting words were "Fat women just don't turn me on." I don't weigh 250 pounds, just 155. My husband isn't exactly Mr. Universe, but he thinks it's okay for men to be "a little husky." Has this happened to anyone out there? If so, what did you do to get over the absolute hurt of being rejected because of your looks/weight?
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Jack
AOL
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I'm sorry your husband left you. He's a sh*t for that. However, I was married to a woman who seemed so wonderful. She had a great job, great body, great sense of human and wonderful personality, UNTIL we got married. Then she turned into someone who wanted to mope around. Though we had agreed to wait to have kids, she wanted them right away. She never went back to work and we had three kids in 5 years. She wanted to buy expensive stuff, but didn't want to work. She got fat and lazy, and wouldn't even consider going back to work after the kids were in school, even though I was bustin' my butt at two jobs to support her.
We divorced when I figured I was just a money bag for her. The woman I'm married to now is in shape. She works and she's independent. But we're also close. I'm more to her than Mr. Money Bags.
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“Messing with sleeping monkey”
Since: Jul 07
Where my hat is
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Judged:
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Dolores wrote: I can't believe this. I'm too ashamed to even talk to friends and family. My husband has been unhappy with my 25 weight gain over the past two years (among other things). Two weeks ago, he left after an argument. His parting words were "Fat women just don't turn me on." I don't weigh 250 pounds, just 155.
My husband isn't exactly Mr. Universe, but he thinks it's okay for men to be "a little husky."
Has this happened to anyone out there? If so, what did you do to get over the absolute hurt of being rejected because of your looks/weight? I hate to tell you honey but your husband didn't leave you because your fat. He's like a lot of spouses, both man and woman, he got tired of being married. You gaining a few pounds doesn't qualify for a divorce. He is a very shallow person to use that excuse. How long were you married, any children, etc. You will probably be better off without him in the long run, guys like him will never be satisfied, they will always find one excuse or another. End of comment
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BEREAL
Mount Prospect, IL
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Judged:
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I agree with you. Delores' husband did not want to be married. Loving someone in sickness and in health should also read in skinny and in fat... Unfortunately so many men are attached to what someone LOOKS like and not who they ARE! Maybe some men should try having babies and gaining weight and losing and gaining it back... I wish there were a way to tell this up front BEFORE you marry someone... Delores... he's the loser,, get on with your life -do all the things you ever wanted to do.You'll be happy again!
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dolores
AOL
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Roadkill1 wrote: <quoted text>
I hate to tell you honey but your husband didn't leave you because your fat. He's like a lot of spouses, both man and woman, he got tired of being married. You gaining a few pounds doesn't qualify for a divorce. He is a very shallow person to use that excuse. How long were you married, any children, etc. You will probably be better off without him in the long run, guys like him will never be satisfied, they will always find one excuse or another. End of comment We were married for ten years and have two kids. After our second child, I could not lose weight. I developed some sort of diabetes during the pregnancy and it wouldn't go away. That was three years ago. He refused to go to the beach with us because he said I looked like a hippo and he was ashamed. It's not like he's skinny. He's 5'11" and weighs 225. But he says he has muscle (not true) and I'm just blubber. You're right. I'm better off without him. I just wonder if men are getting more and more shallow. So many seem to want a skinny (not just normal) woman and won't even give someone who's a little overweight the time of day.
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eastside
United States
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dolores wrote: <quoted text>
We were married for ten years and have two kids. After our second child, I could not lose weight. I developed some sort of diabetes during the pregnancy and it wouldn't go away. That was three years ago. He refused to go to the beach with us because he said I looked like a hippo and he was ashamed. It's not like he's skinny. He's 5'11" and weighs 225. But he says he has muscle (not true) and I'm just blubber.
You're right. I'm better off without him. I just wonder if men are getting more and more shallow. So many seem to want a skinny (not just normal) woman and won't even give someone who's a little overweight the time of day. you and everybody are right. I think your husband has a problem with maturity. My wife and I have been together for 27 years she weighs more than 250 lbs. I dont see her weight because I fell in love with her eyes that shine for me! she was a knockout when she was young! I am considered a good looking guy, but when we were young people would say whats she doing with him? Then when she started to gain weight it was the other way around. I have many overweight people in my life and have learned its not easy to live this way. It's a prejudice to judge those whos shoes you have not worn. Your husband by the way does that 215 lbs protrude from his belly? is going to one day grow-up, but will have tanished those around him with his inhumane ideas. If love was lost admit it, because weight should never be an issue.
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“Got to repel the liberal horde”
Since: May 07
Minooka, IL
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dolores wrote: We were married for ten years and have two kids. After our second child, I could not lose weight. I developed some sort of diabetes during the pregnancy and it wouldn't go away. That was three years ago. He refused to go to the beach with us because he said I looked like a hippo and he was ashamed. It's not like he's skinny. He's 5'11" and weighs 225. But he says he has muscle (not true) and I'm just blubber.
You're right. I'm better off without him. I just wonder if men are getting more and more shallow. So many seem to want a skinny (not just normal) woman and won't even give someone who's a little overweight the time of day. Sounds to me like he's a 'hippo'-critical piece of sh!t. Since when is a 155 lb woman a hippo? As you already know, he's not good enough for you. He obviously thinks the grass is greener somewhere else and that he's a catch that many other women would want. I'm 6 ft, 215 lbs, and although I don't consider myself fat, I do have a gut and I'm definitely not in shape like I used to be. He is using your slight weight problem as an excuse so he can blame you for him wanting to leave. He's a freaking duche-bag and doesn't deserve your attention. Let him go and take your time finding a man that makes you happy.
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Rebecca
Oswego, IL
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Delores- I am so sorry that happened to you!!!!! Your husband is a real piece of work. 155 is NOT fat unless you are like 4 foot 5. Let him go! There are better fish in the sea!!!!!
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dolores
AOL
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Dear Eastside, JR and Rebecca, Bereal and Jack--that you most sincerely for your comments. What you said really helped me to see much more clearly. In truth, my husband was a creep--verbally and psychologically abusive. I lost 225 pound of ugly fat when he left. The day will come when I'm grateful he's gone.
Eastside, all men should follow YOUR example. The world would be a much better place.It's sounds like you guys have a wonderful marriage.
It's good to know that there are decent people in this world. Thanks so much!
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Rebecca
Oswego, IL
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Since: Jul 07
Downers Grove, IL
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Dolores wrote: I can't believe this. I'm too ashamed to even talk to friends and family. My husband has been unhappy with my 25 weight gain over the past two years (among other things). Two weeks ago, he left after an argument. His parting words were "Fat women just don't turn me on." I don't weigh 250 pounds, just 155.
My husband isn't exactly Mr. Universe, but he thinks it's okay for men to be "a little husky."
Has this happened to anyone out there? If so, what did you do to get over the absolute hurt of being rejected because of your looks/weight? Don't be ashamed to talk to friends or family about it because you need them to help get you through this. You did nothing wrong- he seems to be the one with issues. Just be thankful its now instead of 10 or 20 years from now. You deserve some better than him. Find someone who loves you for you. Good luck to you.
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“Got to repel the liberal horde”
Since: May 07
Joliet, IL
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dolores wrote: It's good to know that there are decent people in this world. Thanks so much! There are far more decent people in the world than most realize. Unfortunately, it's hard to stand out in a crowd of selfish a$$holes. They make far more interesting TV. We all like to sit back in shock and thank God our lifes are better than the ones presented to us on the screen.
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eastside
United States
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Bearsfan2
Hickory Hills, IL
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Not all guys are jerks. There are a few who make us good guys look really bad but it sounds like he did you a favor.
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Since: May 07
Location hidden
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Please wait...
Dolores, I can sympathize with what you are feeling. My ex did the same thing to me. He told me that no man would want me, that if it weren't for him I wouldn't be anybody. HA! I went back to work, then enrolled in junior college. Once I had enough saved, I left with my son and we started over. I am now married to a wonderful man, we were married 7 years in June, and I will graduate in December with my Associates Degree. My ex has gone through 3 jobs, 5 women (he met them all through ads placed in a free publication), and is now married again. My son hardly ever hears from him, and when my son tries to contact him, all he gets is a voice mail. Needless to say, my son did suffer but it wasn't anything that he wasn't already feeling before the divorce. His father never really spent time with him the way the other boys' fathers did. He is fine now, works hard, has a good job and a nice girl. He lives with us, but I can see that changing soon. Anyway, set goals for yourself. Treat yourself to a few luxuries, even if it is just a Starbucks and a good book, it's something you're doing for YOU. Sounds to me like your husband is having a mid-life crisis and he's taking it out on you. It's not your fault. Live your own life, you deserve it. Dolores wrote: I can't believe this. I'm too ashamed to even talk to friends and family. My husband has been unhappy with my 25 weight gain over the past two years (among other things). Two weeks ago, he left after an argument. His parting words were "Fat women just don't turn me on." I don't weigh 250 pounds, just 155.
My husband isn't exactly Mr. Universe, but he thinks it's okay for men to be "a little husky."
Has this happened to anyone out there? If so, what did you do to get over the absolute hurt of being rejected because of your looks/weight?
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dolores
AOL
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Stargazer1 wrote: Dolores, I can sympathize with what you are feeling. My ex did the same thing to me. He told me that no man would want me, that if it weren't for him I wouldn't be anybody. HA! I went back to work, then enrolled in junior college. Once I had enough saved, I left with my son and we started over. I am now married to a wonderful man, we were married 7 years in June, and I will graduate in December with my Associates Degree. My ex has gone through 3 jobs, 5 women (he met them all through ads placed in a free publication), and is now married again. My son hardly ever hears from him, and when my son tries to contact him, all he gets is a voice mail. Needless to say, my son did suffer but it wasn't anything that he wasn't already feeling before the divorce. His father never really spent time with him the way the other boys' fathers did. He is fine now, works hard, has a good job and a nice girl. He lives with us, but I can see that changing soon.
Anyway, set goals for yourself. Treat yourself to a few luxuries, even if it is just a Starbucks and a good book, it's something you're doing for YOU. Sounds to me like your husband is having a mid-life crisis and he's taking it out on you. It's not your fault. Live your own life, you deserve it.
<quoted text> Here's an update. Two days after I was served with the divorce papers, he showed up on the doorstep wanting to "come home." I told him if he wasn't gone in 60 seconds, I'd call the police. I had already changed the locks, but I was afraid he'd break a window. He left because I think he knew I meant it. I did mean it. As he stood there, I remembered the time I bought some donuts and I asked him if he wanted one. He looked at me in disgust and said, "No, you eat them all, you need it." When I got upset he said, "Can't you take a joke?" I have a lawyer now and there's no turning back. I no longer want a man who tries to break me. Stargazer (I love that name), what you said is very helpful. And it's your exes loss that he doesn't see his son. Your son is better off without him, as are you. Right now, I'm a wreck, but deep inside I feel something positive growing. I know I've done nothing wrong and it's a very shallow person who only 'loves' you when you're young, thin, pretty and healthy. I believe there are decent men in this world--I know a few. I just happened to marry a bottom feeder. Bad judgment on my part. May he find exactly what he's searching for and exactly what he deserves.
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OMG
Glen Ellyn, IL
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Good for you dolores. You don't need that crap in your life. People who feel the need to cut other people down do so because they themselves have low self esteem and it makes them feel better about themselves. You go girl!!
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Since: May 07
Location hidden
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Please wait...
My ex kept coming around, wanting to know what it was that he did that caused me to leave. I told him that if he had been listening to me for the last 15 years he would have heard it. He was abusive and drank a lot and I just got tired of it. Keep your head held high. Walk with a purpose and look forward. It will be tough but you will survive. And if he keeps coming around after you told him not to, get an Order of Protection. dolores wrote: <quoted text>
Here's an update. Two days after I was served with the divorce papers, he showed up on the doorstep wanting to "come home." I told him if he wasn't gone in 60 seconds, I'd call the police. I had already changed the locks, but I was afraid he'd break a window. He left because I think he knew I meant it.
I did mean it. As he stood there, I remembered the time I bought some donuts and I asked him if he wanted one. He looked at me in disgust and said, "No, you eat them all, you need it." When I got upset he said, "Can't you take a joke?"
I have a lawyer now and there's no turning back. I no longer want a man who tries to break me.
Stargazer (I love that name), what you said is very helpful. And it's your exes loss that he doesn't see his son. Your son is better off without him, as are you.
Right now, I'm a wreck, but deep inside I feel something positive growing. I know I've done nothing wrong and it's a very shallow person who only 'loves' you when you're young, thin, pretty and healthy.
I believe there are decent men in this world--I know a few. I just happened to marry a bottom feeder. Bad judgment on my part. May he find exactly what he's searching for and exactly what he deserves.
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Since: May 07
Location hidden
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Please wait...
That is so true! OMG wrote: Good for you dolores. You don't need that crap in your life. People who feel the need to cut other people down do so because they themselves have low self esteem and it makes them feel better about themselves. You go girl!!
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eastside
United States
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dolores wrote: <quoted text>
Here's an update. Two days after I was served with the divorce papers, he showed up on the doorstep wanting to "come home." I told him if he wasn't gone in 60 seconds, I'd call the police. I had already changed the locks, but I was afraid he'd break a window. He left because I think he knew I meant it.
I did mean it. As he stood there, I remembered the time I bought some donuts and I asked him if he wanted one. He looked at me in disgust and said, "No, you eat them all, you need it." When I got upset he said, "Can't you take a joke?"
I have a lawyer now and there's no turning back. I no longer want a man who tries to break me.
Stargazer (I love that name), what you said is very helpful. And it's your exes loss that he doesn't see his son. Your son is better off without him, as are you.
Right now, I'm a wreck, but deep inside I feel something positive growing. I know I've done nothing wrong and it's a very shallow person who only 'loves' you when you're young, thin, pretty and healthy.
I believe there are decent men in this world--I know a few. I just happened to marry a bottom feeder. Bad judgment on my part. May he find exactly what he's searching for and exactly what he deserves. That's great! Now the pain you feel he is feeling! I've learned in life that you don't make fun of peoples looks especially loved ones. When we laugh at those around us aren't we laughing at the creator of human beings. I used to watch Leno on the tonight show until he started with the fat jokes, yet he made fun of VP Cheneys heart problems. Don't they realize that someone at that moment is probably going through these problems. mmmmmmmm donuts.
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