Night Befo' Crizzmus

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was lay'in on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfriend,
my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.

Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho',- can you believe that Sheet?

Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "Son o' b1tch...he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sh1t.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my sh1t in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my blade too!

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a sh1t!

ROTFLMFAO! Antichrist, that was the funniest thing I have ever read in my life. As always thanks again for the laugh.

brilliant, thanks for the laugh

Win The Fray!

1. O! when the Negro makes liimsell'a man,
The wicked world will see a new parade;
The blacks will march in one tremendous clan
A great phalanx of noble fighting braves.

2. The day that Africa awakes, in deed,
And black men cease to dream away the time,
The scoffing tribes of other men will heed,
The race's claims of sober righteousness.

3. It's then for you to think and act to-day,
And show of what good mettle you are made
It's not what other men may do or say,
But just how game you are to win the stake.
- M. Garvey

Ole Sturdivant Slim wrote:

Win The Fray!
1. O! when the Negro makes liimsell'a man,
The wicked world will see a new parade;
The blacks will march in one tremendous clan
A great phalanx of noble fighting braves.
2. The day that Africa awakes, in deed,
And black men cease to dream away the time,
The scoffing tribes of other men will heed,
The race's claims of sober righteousness.
3. It's then for you to think and act to-day,
And show of what good mettle you are made
It's not what other men may do or say,
But just how game you are to win the stake.
- M. Garvey

'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a sh1t!

OMG, that's hilarious.

hahaha...thank you...that cracked me up.

Too funny!racist as hell,but hilarious!

johncb wrote:

Too funny!racist as hell,but hilarious!

i dont think its racist...its poking fun...isnt that what black comedians do about whites all the time?

The Antichrist wrote:

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family, was lay'in on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfriend,
my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".
I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho',- can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "Son o' b1tch...he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my sh1t.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my sh1t in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, be he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a sh1t!

you da man antichrist! right up my alley!

i love racist christmas carols.............but the republicans have been the grinch for the last 8 years..

Dat be funny.

This is appalling. Absolutely disgusting and not even funny.

Also, the diction used by the speaker in the poem sounds better than Palin's. That was one person who could not talk.

One other thing--just because "black people do this to white people" does not make it right going the other way. Given the awful way that whites have treated blacks in this country because of the dehumanizing effects of racism means that they have a reason to be pi$$ed off. Whites don't.

When you lose your jobs, you'll be happy enough to collect food stamps and unemployment.

Lizzie wrote:

This is appalling. Absolutely disgusting and not even funny.
Also, the diction used by the speaker in the poem sounds better than Palin's. That was one person who could not talk.
One other thing--just because "black people do this to white people" does not make it right going the other way. Given the awful way that whites have treated blacks in this country because of the dehumanizing effects of racism means that they have a reason to be pi$$ed off. Whites don't.
When you lose your jobs, you'll be happy enough to collect food stamps and unemployment.

Wow nice use of that liberal white guilt.
Try not to let that guilt eat you alive.
The fact that you're still harping about an irrelevant VEEP is pretty appaling.
Did you ever hear another peep out of Mondale or Quail (sp I know I meant it). NO they are on the scrapheap of has beens just like big Al.

Lizzie wrote:

This is appalling. Absolutely disgusting and not even funny.
Also, the diction used by the speaker in the poem sounds better than Palin's. That was one person who could not talk.
One other thing--just because "black people do this to white people" does not make it right going the other way. Given the awful way that whites have treated blacks in this country because of the dehumanizing effects of racism means that they have a reason to be pi$$ed off. Whites don't.
When you lose your jobs, you'll be happy enough to collect food stamps and unemployment.

Happy enough for what?
Sucking at the govt. TIT?
Nice and classy.
I'll go eat grass in a park first.

That was a really good one lets hear some more.

Perhaps you're just one someone who cannot hear?

How in the heck did I miss this thread?! Antichrist, ROTFLMAO!!!

wow. nice job on all of you enjoying the racism in this thread. and dont kid youself, there is a lot of it in this thread. Would you be posting this or laughing about it if Obama was white? No? That's racism.

Be blessed and have a safe Christmas everyone.

dave wrote:

wow. nice job on all of you enjoying the racism in this thread. and dont kid youself, there is a lot of it in this thread. Would you be posting this or laughing about it if Obama was white? No? That's racism.
Be blessed and have a safe Christmas everyone.

Come on Dave you know that only White's can be Racist so therefor lets enjoy the racism.