couples that cheat

why is it that people see people cheating on their spouse all the time and never say anything.what about their spouse?just by not saying anything you are knowingly putting someone at risk of disease,or who knows what.if you are brave enough,then if you know or see someone that is doing this,then at least put the name of the person cheating,then name of with who on this forum.you remain annoymous,so why be scared?

The reason people cheat is because they have lost self respect and they no longer repect their spouse or family. I my self would only tell my family members and that would be very hard to do. Here you have a catch 22-not wanting to interfere, and at the same time you can't help feeling angry. I would leave it along and hope that they come to their senses.The best is to let God deal with their conscious, and mend the broken heart.

Native wrote:

The reason people cheat is because they have lost self respect and they no longer repect their spouse or family. I my self would only tell my family members and that would be very hard to do. Here you have a catch 22-not wanting to interfere, and at the same time you can't help feeling angry. I would leave it along and hope that they come to their senses.The best is to let God deal with their conscious, and mend the broken heart.

U r probley right.When u tell someone ur stepping into their business,rather it be right or wrong,and people hate for others to interfere in their business.I must admit that this is kinda personal for me.Me and my wife have recently seperated,but not to the point where we can see other people or anything like that,in her words more of a break,but if we were with someone else it would be considered cheating.I love this girl more than anything in life and its hard because her friends are against me and want her to meet someone new.Since we are still married i think if they were true friends they wouldnt try to hook her up with anyone cause that only causes more problems.How can i have a chance to make things right and save a 10yr marriage if people dont stop tryin to introduce her to guys?We have 3 kids together and 10yrs behind us and i am willing to fight to save my family as long as it takes and i'll never give up.I hear things on the streets about her going on dates and guys coming by her house,but i dont know whats real or made up cause if i ask her she gets angry and deffensive bout it.Thats what makes me feel like good or bad,everyone deserves the TRUTH.

Sometimes we have to back away, and let that person decide what is more important. Speaking from experence, stay away from your wife-but not from your children. Do not talk to her, or ask anyone any questions about what she is doing. Pray and ask God to reveal to you what is wrong in your life, and for God to deal with her as well. Remember this the more you push-the further she will back away. Ask yourself could you forgive her if she was with another man. It take time for the heart to mend, and longer to forget. I will remember you in prayer-as well as your family. The Creator (God) will see you through this. When you are with your children do not discuss anything concerning there Mother. Just let them know that you love them. If I lived in the area I would share with you the same words that was given to me. Let me know how things are going in your life. I hope that I have helped you-

sorry im just now getting back,but it has been a rough few weeks.i still talk 2 my wife but mostly bout the kids.me and her cant talk without arguing so i try 2 avoid that.i keep catching her in alot of lies and it confuses me.she has already kicked me out and told everyone we are seperated,so why lie?i do know alot of it is 4 a fact her friends telling her im sorry,a loser,and other stuff i cant mention.they are also constantly trying 2 hook her up with other guys.i know it is her decision in the end,but i wish they would quit trying 2 keep us apart.i also hear alot of things but people talk.many that just like 2 run their mouth.i do know in my heart that i could forgive her if she was with another man as long as she was honest about it.i myself have made the mistake of cheating years ago and she forgave me and i believe me being honest about it helped.ive made many mistakes i wish i could take back,but i cant,all i can do is make sure she knows the truth.i love her soo much,but the way she talks 2 me and acts towards me is starting 2 cause my feelings 2 change in a way i do not want them 2.im starting 2 feel hate towards her and thats the last thing i want.im a wreck and anyone that knows me says they can see it is starting 2 take a toll on me,but i cant help being depressed all the time.my kids are starting 2 understand daddy cant come home,but at least i still get 2 see them everyday.all i know as far as my wife goes,i can forgive anything she has done as long as there are no lies or secrets because i cant imagine my life without her.we have already been through so much together,even losing our first child on christmas eve,so i know if she would stop and see how much i love her,we might have a chance.

Maybe the truth is that she may never forgave you, and now she wants to move on. You may need to seek professional help with your depression. (Don't let this get to far.) I wish you and your family only the best.

i talked 2 her and she said shes not ready 2 move on.i tried 2 myself,but failed miserably.i recently spent the night with her and we made love for hours then falling asleep in each others arms.it was wonderful.then out of no where she is talking bout divorce again,after telling me how much she missed everything about me.its really confusing...

Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants and there will be trouble if she continues down this path. I suggest that you both go for counceling, and maybe there could be a solution to all this. Being of Native American heritage I believe that you could ask the Creator (God) for a message in a dream or a word of knowledge. Go to a minister and ask for special prayer--I believe in prayer. When I pray tonight-I will ask that the Holy Spirit to speak to both of you.

I have just recently been cheated on by my husband and never beleived in my heart and soul that he could do such a thing but he accidentally left his messenger on and that's when my world crumbled. I did not get the several signals befroehand like several bedroom fantasies, irritable and gets mad at little things, late nights at work (been busy lately, meetings, papers, etc.). He also got another celphone saying it was a company phone. He also tried to stay away from family gathering and confrontation. He would always make it a point that everything I did was dumb and that really drove my confidence level down.
I know where you're coming from and I can somehow see where your relationship is going. If she refuses marriage counseling then your marriage is not important to her. She may have her heart set on something else. I know there is always a dry season in a marriage but if she is not willing to save it then let her go. It will just get more complicated from here on and you really don't want to hate each other for the sake of your kids. Make this as less traumatic and confusing for your kids as much as possible. Be good friends while it is still possible but it's going to be a tough road ahead of you. Be strong for your kids! They are what we live for. They will need you in the middle of this turmoil. And never forget to pray for guidance.

Native: Telling someone you are going to pray for them is just a nice way of saying "I'm really not going to do anything helpful or I'm just not able to be of any real assistance, but I'll think about you!".

Truth: Man I know it sucks and you feel helpless. But just go back and read what you have written and pretend its a stranger writing those things about his life. Things might clear up a bit if you try looking in on this situation from the outside.

1. She's found someone else.(Painful as it may be, reading your posts I would assume this as a possibility.)

2. She wants someone else.(This one is also painful. Man I've seen situations like this countless times. This is a possibility but it seems to be a very small one. You see most women, especially women with children will not just up and break off a longterm relationship like this. Usually a woman will not leave a stable and dependable relationship unless they already have the replacement lined up. She has herself and her children to think of you know.

3. You have been a horrible partner to her.(With your admitted extra marital activity, I would jump out on a limb here and say this might have a lot to do with it.) People make mistakes sure. And people can be forgiven. I understand that completely. Let me say it this way. I have a horse , my horse kicked me when i walked behind him once. From now on all I'll think about when i have to get near that horse is how he kicked me, and how bad it hurt. Eventually I might get paranoid and not want to get around that horse at all anymore for fear of getting kicked. Actually this may cause me to kick the horse out of my house and be done with the getting kicked bulls*it once and for all.

Seriously dude I really hate you have to go through all this. It sounds like she's found someone else. Just be a father to those kids. And if she has found someone else just remember not to do anything stupid, or crazy. Being a daddy is easy, even from prison. But to be a father you are going to need to be there for them.