An Alabama State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-20. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
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Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
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Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.
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Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Birmingham, Alabama burned down?
A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
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A new law recently passed in Alabama: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
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Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Alabama?
A: I-20 and I-10
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Two Alabamans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm ... five?"
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Q: What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.
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An Alabaman came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have them big red trucks?"
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Q: Why do folks in Alabama go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
A:'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
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Are ya Chicken?
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke.
The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm from Alabama. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's from Alabama, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's from Alabama,too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?"
The guy says, "Nah."
To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are ya chicken?"
The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."
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Elevator
A country bumpkin family from Alabama decides to go to the Big Apple for the first Time in their lives; Maw, Paw and their son. They go into the Empire State Building. As they're walking around they notice the elevator. Never seeing one before they stand in front of it bewildered.
While staring at it, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to it, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself inside and the door closes.
The Alabama hick family watches as the lights for each floor light as it goes up. They continue to watch as the numbers go down again.
The door opens and out walks this tall gorgeous blonde. Legs to her neck. Great figure. Beautiful!
Paw looks at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer Maw in there!!"
Aries