why do spouses stay with a cheater

The problem with, love a cheater they know they can get by with it and always come back home.

o.k.

Simon says wrote:

Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater! At least until they're too old and can't find anyone anymore. Why? I couldn't tell you. Maybe, they just always need their ego stroked by someone else.

how can you say once a cheater always a cheater.. unless you have been there and done that? Have you ever been cheated on or cheated? People make mistakes and I agree that love forgives. Never give up trying if you think that it is worth it!

my husband was a cheater and i forgave him and things couldnt be better in our life. i hate that it took that to bring us closer and our love deeper. you have to do what you feel in your heart and dont listen to everyone else.

cheaters wrote:

my husband was a cheater and i forgave him and things couldnt be better in our life. i hate that it took that to bring us closer and our love deeper. you have to do what you feel in your heart and dont listen to everyone else.

He is just more careful now.

Sometimes you stay for a higher purpose. I did. I chose to stay for reasons beyond my own wounds. In my case, two disabled children requiring my fulltime care kept me in our marriage. I could not, would not sacrifice their futures for my own wellbeing.

Fifteen years later, I can honestly say I made the right decision. DH did eventually grow up. He eventually became the man I thought I'd married. I just married him fifteen years too soon, I guess.

The sad thing is that now that our children are older, I find that in spite of the fact that DH has fallen all over himself over the last five years to make it up to me, I still can't forgive, can't trust, even though I've done everything I can to catch him in the act. I can't find so much as a suspicious phone call, email, five minutes of unaccounted for time.

Truth is, he's not cheating. But when he did, he went way beyond the boundaries of trust....many times. Yes, I love him. No, I doubt I'll ever be able to love him the blind, all-consuming way I once did. And maybe that's a good thing?

Pain made me strong. Strong enough to raise two desperately ill children. Now, when I look at my them, I see that one of who has moved on past a diagnosis once deemed hopeless. I see the other making strides that are still deemed impossible. That's when I realize that choosing the most painful path I could imagine was the right thing.

When I see them smile, laugh, bring home honor roll report cards, make plans for their futures...I realize that living beyond my own broken heart brought me something everlasting. It brought me the time I needed to help bring my sons scrape out a miracle. It brought me a deeper happiness than I ever could have dreamed could ever be mine.

To chastise those who choose to live beyond their personal pain for the good of others is simply forgetting what it means to grow as a human being, to hold the good of someone else above the good of one's self. And that's where I found the kind of happiness no man can ever bring me...or take way.:)

Just my 2 cents. Yours may be different, and that's ok.

my husband confessed on his own a few months after he cheated one time he said he could not take the lie any more it was killing him inside to know he had secretly hurt me and we had just had a little girl and she adored her daddy he is the best father and husband i could ask for he said he learned his lesson and it hurt him to think of loosing me and the baby, but it was my disicion to leave him or stay that he would understand and it took a lot of guts to admit that on his own. so I believe that it won't happen again and for my little girl's sake I stayed with him and I eventually forgave him. I really dont' think it would have happen if the world wasn't full of evil suductive women. All realtionships are different and you just have to go with what your heart tells you.

Yeah you may stay in the marriage for a little while...but eventually it will end....you can forgive but you will never forget being cheated on trust me...and evrytime you get into one fight you will bring the cheating up everytime...its no way to live...yeah i know it is very important to try and make it work...esp if you have kids...but you eventually get to the point where you cant take it anymore

OMG.. just so u know.. i am her hubby.. we BOTH made those mistakes.. but we move forward.. and I WILL NOW cheat nomore.. and all i can do is hope she doesn't either.. but i am working hard on my trust issues

Jesus saves

Jonathan wrote:

OMG.. just so u know.. i am her hubby.. we BOTH made those mistakes.. but we move forward.. and I WILL NOW cheat nomore.. and all i can do is hope she doesn't either.. but i am working hard on my trust issues

who's hubby

WKU-GURL wrote:

<quoted text>
who's hubby

well once the trust is gone it might as well be all gone....just the way it is...things really are never the same nemore if youve lost trust

i think they stay to punish the cheater

gaga wrote:

how do u stay with someone u know doesn't love u and is having an affair?

they are stupid...plain and simple

It's not so easy to give up on someone you love. I'v e never been cheated on (knock on wood) but I can imagine it would be a very difficult situation and honestly, I do think I would end up leaving. But that's easier said then done. The marriage would never be the same, the trust would be lost forever, it's easy to forgive but not so easy to forget. But hell, love blinds you from these things sometimes.

Only a FOOL would stay with a cheating spouse.
Just wait until they leave for good one day and your dumb A has wasted all that time on someone who never ever loved you!