Child Support Abuse!

yoo hoo wrote:

<quoted text>When I was first seperated my ex would not go with me to the support office for a quick estimate of what I should pay before we went to a hearing. She wanted a very extreme amount but due to her lack of cooperation I said we'd just wait for the hearing.(I knew I'd owe back payments,)

The first words to me out of Judge Domotrovitch's mouth was "how DARE you not support your children" even though they lacked for nothing. I was perfectly willing to pay if given guidance and had the agreement of my ex on what to pay.(Judge Judy is always crabby BTW.)

The other thing too is if you overpay before you actually go to court to set an amount it's sometimes customary to keep the higher payment just because that was what was started. Just sayin'.

Dishonesty is often why divorce is so hard--which ultimately always hurts the kids.

Going to court sucks but it's better that then get black mailed plus if she moves to a state controlled by the Democratic Party your screwed.

His_Shadow wrote:

<quoted text>
Going to court sucks but it's better that then get black mailed plus if she moves to a state controlled by the Democratic Party your screwed.

Being made to support an ADULT--not a child--when aged 23, 26 or 28 is insane. But the real problem for Tory IMO is the blackmail. From his post I presume he's a reasonable person. Hopefully they talked about what the money he was sending to her was for.

If they agreed it was for child support and she's now willing to say under oath in a court that it wasn't...that's to me, and indication that she will say or do anything. Very scary indeed.

The human mind under stress can only take so much squeezing of your balls in a vise. That's why people decide to say F it and shoot up a hair salon killing 8 people...including the ex-wife who probably dicked the shooter around.

IMO the shooter should have started with the lawyer who probably put stupid ideas AND PROMPTS in the woman's head. But don't mind me. I'm a little biased ;)

yoo hoo wrote:

<quoted text>Being made to support an ADULT--not a child--when aged 23, 26 or 28 is insane. But the real problem for Tory IMO is the blackmail. From his post I presume he's a reasonable person. Hopefully they talked about what the money he was sending to her was for.

If they agreed it was for child support and she's now willing to say under oath in a court that it wasn't...that's to me, and indication that she will say or do anything. Very scary indeed.

The human mind under stress can only take so much squeezing of your balls in a vise. That's why people decide to say F it and shoot up a hair salon killing 8 people...including the ex-wife who probably dicked the shooter around.

IMO the shooter should have started with the lawyer who probably put stupid ideas AND PROMPTS in the woman's head. But don't mind me. I'm a little biased ;)

Don't be afraid people think just like you....I agree

After studying the so called child support system for years, my opinion is to completely eliminate it so the kids involved are not treated like pawns in a financial chess game. This will force the parents to cooperate and raise their kid(s).

I agree 100% my fiance pays over 500 dollars a month in child support. His ex barley ever has the kids. When we dont have them they are at her moms. She dont buy them clothes or new backpacks for school or supplies. Not to mention she gets 900 dollars a month in food stamps and lives low income housing and works (only part time). And the kids never have socks on thier shoes are falling apart. And she calls us to bitch about it and tells us to buy them some. I am pretty sure thats what child suppport is supposed to be for. Not your bad habbits or your boysfriends bad habits. Iths supposed to be for the kids and i think that you should have to show proof at the end of every month to show where that money has gone before they ever even send the check for the next month. I think too many girls see it as an easy way to get money. And its not right. Our court systems should be better established to know that atleast 50% of women recieving child support are using the money inappropriatly.

DeaJ wrote:

As much as I agree that there are many women who do do not use support as intended, requiring these people to submit receipts would never work. It would only be a matter of time and they would figure out how to use that money for themselves and turn in receipts.
Now in my case...my sons father moved 6 states away when my son was 8 and stopped paying support completely. When my son was 24, imagine my shock when I suddenly began receiving support payments. I have had some family members say I should be giving this money directly to my son. I feel that I supported him all those years with no help from dear ole Dad, that money belongs to me now!

I belive that to be true but.... my grand parents raised me and yes they did collect cash assistance whitch in colorado they go after child support befor they will give u cash assistance. That money put me thru dance class for seven years bought me new shoes and clothes every year and allowed me to do numerus things i woulnt hve been able to do. Then i moved out at the age of 13 and they would send me that money they got for me every month. My grandmother passed away 4 years ago. In 2008 at the age of fiftenn i got pregnant and had my beautiful daughter in 2009 and recently found out that my grandfather (since my granmothers death) has taken my father back to court and is now recieving child support for me. I hvent live in the home for over 5 years they only supported me until i got pregnant then the money stoped. I think that the money that he is recieving rightfully belongs to me. Its not fair that i am a struggling teen mom that works fulll time and barely can pay her rent and my well off grandfather is getting money to support me when i am supporting myself and my daughter and he is spening it.

maybe you should pay your grandfather back the money he raised you with.

When my now adult children were growing up i received support for each one of my three children. I bought a ledger for each child, and every amount of money i spent on them was posted in the ledger. If i had receipts, they were put in an envelope and kept with each ledger, on a monthly basis. It wasn't hard to do, in fact, i felt good about doing it. No one would ever be able to question my integrity regards the money the kids received. When they were all grown up, i gave each child their ledger and the envelopes full of receipts. My kids went to private schools with that money, new shoes, and clothes as needed. Anyone can do it and always have proof of what was spent, when and for which child.

Omniscient1 - In OH, child support is based on the combined income of the parents, allowing for certain adjustments (e.g. childcare svcs, healthcare costs), and that total is applied to a chart that defines "if the household income is X amt, the number of kids is Y, then the amount from the chart is what has been calculated to support the Y number of children" Using an example of $1,000 per month as the total allocated to supporting the kids, the non-custodial is responsible for the % of the total household income multiplied by the $1,000 amount (mom makes 30K, dad makes 60K, dad makes .67% of the total and child support from him would be $670 per month). The way the money is spent is entirely up to the custodial parent and may be justified in this manner. In our example, it takes $1,000 per month of which the custodial is responsible for $670. If the $670 is not paid when due, the custodial parent is the one making up the difference. Just because someone doesn't pay their share it doesn't mean the expense was reduced, just harder to come up with the money. In the case of DeaJ, any arrearage due from the ex is most certainly hers to do with as she pleases.

And, for "repeal", if you truly 'studied' child support law in OH for years, you would know that prior to the allocation based on household income approach was taken, child support was totally negotiable with the stronger parent/lawyer reaching the most favorable settlement. I believe the pre-determined allocation to be a more equitable distribution as it takes it out of negotiation. One interesting thing, unless you're the father, the child support going to a mother having custody in non-negotiable, the support going to a father with custody is negotiable.

Custody and support is BS
SPLIT 50%
Equal custody
Equal support
All fair!
&&&& the Courts, and all the kids that they screw up.

mia wrote:

I agree 100% my fiance pays over 500 dollars a month in child support. His ex barley ever has the kids. When we dont have them they are at her moms. She dont buy them clothes or new backpacks for school or supplies. Not to mention she gets 900 dollars a month in food stamps and lives low income housing and works (only part time). And the kids never have socks on thier shoes are falling apart. And she calls us to bitch about it and tells us to buy them some. I am pretty sure thats what child suppport is supposed to be for. Not your bad habbits or your boysfriends bad habits. Iths supposed to be for the kids and i think that you should have to show proof at the end of every month to show where that money has gone before they ever even send the check for the next month. I think too many girls see it as an easy way to get money. And its not right. Our court systems should be better established to know that atleast 50% of women recieving child support are using the money inappropriatly.

Uh, what? Please repost with proper grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Oh, and capitals, spelling, and proper use of pronouns is advised.

Here is MORE proof - as if we needed it - that the education system has failed.

Think About This wrote:

Why can't the custodial parent spend the money the way they want? Child support isn't nearly enough to help with food, clothing, shelter, utilities, transportation, and activities. Do you really think that child support is enough for a child to live on with no other source of income? The entire child support system is a joke, try calling enforcement and see if they get you anywhere, while the noncustodial parent racks up thousands of dollars in arrears, and then is late on a payment. They will tell you 'we know he's/she's 9 grand behind in support but they are paying an extra $50.00 a month to catch that up, so we'll keep tacking the money on there.' And the custodial parent gets stuck with all the fees associated with it also, like the annual federal user fee to support the enforcement officers who don't do anything but tell you to wait longer. Or the fees charged by the IRS to intercept the tax return so you can get the money that is owed to you in arrears. Yeah in the past year, I have paid $150.00 to collect the money that is owed to me & my kids. If you think that I don't look forward to that money coming into the household to help me out you are way wrong. And who do you think has paid for these children when my ex was not paying support? That's right me. And who do you think supports the children when child support payments aren't being made on time? The custodial parent! Think about it from both points of view.

::::: well you have to look at who you lyin down with. if you go for every male thats looks appealing with no background history, thats on you. maybe you shouldnt have all those dam kids and you wouldnt have to worry about what baby daddys pay and dont pay.

mia wrote:

<quoted text>
I belive that to be true but.... my grand parents raised me and yes they did collect cash assistance whitch in colorado they go after child support befor they will give u cash assistance. That money put me thru dance class for seven years bought me new shoes and clothes every year and allowed me to do numerus things i woulnt hve been able to do. Then i moved out at the age of 13 and they would send me that money they got for me every month. My grandmother passed away 4 years ago. In 2008 at the age of fiftenn i got pregnant and had my beautiful daughter in 2009 and recently found out that my grandfather (since my granmothers death) has taken my father back to court and is now recieving child support for me. I hvent live in the home for over 5 years they only supported me until i got pregnant then the money stoped. I think that the money that he is recieving rightfully belongs to me. Its not fair that i am a struggling teen mom that works fulll time and barely can pay her rent and my well off grandfather is getting money to support me when i am supporting myself and my daughter and he is spening it.

Excuse me, check your passed reply's before you talk about someone else. you must be one of those moms. you're also an example that our school system has failed smart dummy.

I agree with you these politicians and the lobbyist who pay them to pass these laws are all about self. Child support for the child blah blah.. Yeah Right. Senioro A person is with a person making lets say 30 k per year they have one child they break up. Now the person who is paying child support which 95 percent of the time its the man paying a woman has to pay the support. Now, He is making 100k per year. She moved on and he moved on with different relationships. Child support will raise his support payment up as if they were still together even though she has another guy in the home. SO basically the man is paying a female to fuck around with another guy? You mean to tell me a woman's p'''y is worth 100 million even though she did nothing to get it or a man's D is worth that. ANYONE who believes this is right is delusional and needs an immediate psychiatric appointment. America went from people getting no assistance to this shit? All I hear the government has to force the person to pay the government is ruining these children look at them obese, committing hanis acts to their parents, having extreme emotional problems in life. The child see's one parent sitting on their ass there whole life seeing money appear out of thin air is not in the best interest of the child and in return look at our children as a whole today. People complain O i ain't getting this or that so the government changes it to accommodate them but in return cause more problems to others because of the consistent increase in abuse of child support. These women are not pure like the women in the 30's, 40', 50 etc. These women think they are men you will never be a man never. The only reason child support even exsist is because a male allowed it to. If the roles were reversed a female would never do this for a male never. All are from acts the government butting in to people's personal lives. The government doesn't know what goes on inside that person's home. And even if the one parent is not getting anything from the other parent there is still help out there, Section 8, Heap, PIP, Food stamps, medicaid, income taxes, free tuition assistance,free day care, and child support if they are paying. On the flip side not all but a lot of ladies don't want their kids to have a relationship with their father why? Maybe because they know collecting support is wrong in the first place. For you Christians in here a true christian lady knows the bible the law goes directly against what the bible states. A true female knows what I am saying to be true no matter if you don't like it or not the truth is the truth>

Obama bin Laden wrote:

Let's start forcing women who collect child support to submit monthly receipts for their purchases. I am sick and tired of seeing people that work too hard for a living dish out more than half of their paychecks to some women who only got pregnant so that she can sit back and spend the money on herself.
There is ABSOLUTELY no reason that a women who is collecting child support should be out shopping a Victoria's Secret to buy lingerie or spending hundreds of dollars on new purses and shoes.
That money is supposed to be used to help support the CHILD, NOT the gold digging whore that bore him...

I agree that some non custodial parents get a raw deal, but there are those of us who do not. I have two children and I am not with their mothers and I pay zero child support. Not because I can't, because I make more money than the two of them combined, but because it isn't necessary. My kids have more than what their mothers could get through child support, I make sure of it and I am blessed to have two females who are like minded in that regard. Unfortunately there are alot of people who are dead beat parents that have ruined things for good people. The court rightly leans towards the custodial parent but it is that person who should be reasonable. Just because the court says $500 does not mean they have to take it, they always get the option of working out an agreement. The system is set up to assume the non custodial parent is a dead beat and they plan accordingly. I know many people who are excellent parents and can't do for there kids like they want because the custodial parent is a money hungry piece of crap (and I know males and females going through it).

Skeptic wrote:

Wow, you give half of your paycheck to the less fortunate? That's very Christian of you!

Christian? Really? What in "god's" name does your respective religion have to do with this question? This is about accountability. You have to keep receipts and track what you spend as a tax payer. Why shouldn't a child support recipient be held accountable for what is spent on the child? After all.... it IS "child support" not spousal support. If the court found it necessary to levy spousal support they would. Child support should benefit the child..... every penny. Victoria's Secret is NOT EVER benefiting the child. Keep your ultra conservative religious nonsense to yourself.

David wrote:

<quoted text> Christian? Really? What in "god's" name does your respective religion have to do with this question? This is about accountability. You have to keep receipts and track what you spend as a tax payer. Why shouldn't a child support recipient be held accountable for what is spent on the child? After all.... it IS "child support" not spousal support. If the court found it necessary to levy spousal support they would. Child support should benefit the child..... every penny. Victoria's Secret is NOT EVER benefiting the child. Keep your ultra conservative religious nonsense to yourself.

Hey loser, he was using a figure of speech. Keep you ultra liberal Anti-Christian bigotry out of it. BTW, you sound like one of the losers who has spent time in the slammer for not paying you own child support.

lakerman1 wrote:

Most exes collecting child support use it properly. There are some, however, who spend it on the boyfriend. I am aware of such cases.

I feel that many men are taken advantage of by the system. It doesn't cost over $100 a week to raise a child. As stated by someone earlier, they would have those expenses for themselves anyway without the child so what makes anyone think that they are entitled to be supported by thier ex, regardless of sex. We have 50/50 custody and still have to pay the worthless piece of shit $100 a week. Sad that we have to pay her to be a mom. If you can't afford to support your child on your week, give the kid to the parent that works for a living and can. Why do ppl think they should fatass it and get rich off of others that do work for a living. Trips, clothes, and eating out all the time are luxeries that only working ppl should enjoy. Not loser moms that get paid to be a mom. You had the child now support the child just as equally or give him to someone that can. IT's pathetic that some women don't feel that they should have to support their child one dime. Then get pissed that they can't claim their kid on their income tax return. Using children as a paycheck should be illegal. I truly feel sorry for you women. I agree that receipts should be turned in to prove that every dime of the money is spent on the child. I'm sure over 2/3 of the women couldn't justify the money they receive and maybe some men could actually start benefiting from all the hard work they do each week while their ex fatasses it on the couch. GROW UP LOSERS and be a REAL MOM!!!!

Id glady give up my almost 700 a month in child support to have full custody instead of having to share my daughter as frequently as I do, with such a spiteful fool who will disagree with every possible decision just to disagree with me and disrespect our religious beliefs.