Next, cops need elevator shoes and more tall hats. It makes them feel important. After all, The 4th Ammendment is a hard thing to rape, and he may hesitate in a rare fit of decency. Give him our assurance: "You're IMPORTANT! We're just Americans."
Lastly, I envision a 'Cheating Wing' to be built onto the courthouse where pallets of Fed grant money, Solar panel company permits, and loans to Proper Foods can be shuffled around.