Race for the Statehouse

New Book soon to be on the market is illustrated by Betty Wont

The Kris Jordan Story- My humble background

as told by the Delaware County Republican Party

Chapter One- Growing Up Kris
Poor Kris, he can' help it, he was born with a silver foot in his mouth. Kris throws his first tantrum when he tells mom he doesn't want no stinkin cookie, they are too sweet and he will just get a headache from all the sugar.

Chapter Two- Edumacation Starts
Kris is taught by Elliott Spitzer
"He's too temperamental. He can be charming, he is extremely bright, he's very personable, he's very articulate, when he wants to be,” said Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno.“But just as soon as you're telling him things that are disagreeable to him well then you can see the change take place in his face. He flared up with me a couple of times on the phone and in person in a very unbecoming way. All I could think about was some little rich kid having a tantrum. I almost expected him to be wandering around stomping his feet."

Chapter Three- Edumacation Continues
Kris studies the rise and fall of the Nixon and Clinton presidency...determined to learn from their mistakes.

Nixon Vs. Clinton

Major Scandal during their presidency....
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed

The President's biggest fear....
Nixon: The Cold War
Clinton: The Cold Sore

Complaints toward the President.....
Nixon: Carpet-Bombing
Clinton: Carpet-Burns

Their Vice-Presidents...
Nixon: His was Greek
Clinton: His is a Geek.

Presidential qualities.....
Nixon: Couldn't stop Kissinger.
Clinton: Couldn't stop kissing her.

Things the President couldn't explain....
Nixon: The missing 18-minutes on the tapes
Clinton: The 36D bra in his briefcase

Job titles....
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President

Slogans....
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon's The One"
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him and saying "He's the one"

Known for....
Nixon: Famous for his widow's peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak

Acquaintances....
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with G Spot

Famous feats....
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Minh
Clinton: Took on Ho

Quoted as....
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked of getting a piece while on her

Presidential Nicknames....
Nixon: Tricky Dick
Clinton: Tricky Dick

and finally, Presidential excuses....
Nixon: I am not a crook!
Clinton: I did not do nook!

Kris failed the class.

?

Huh Huh??

HaHaHa

Was that written about Jordan or Spitzer. It is very accurate for either one.

House Republicans scuttled a bill yesterday that Democrats hoped would help lower gasoline prices by forcing the Energy Department to release 70 million barrels of oil -- about a three-day supply -- from the national stockpile.

Democrats promised that the action would produce immediate relief at the pump, as was the case with similar releases in 1991, 2000 and 2005. The Strategic Petroleum Reserve holds about 700 million barrels.

Thanks Pat. I don't need a lower price for gas.

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed the sharp decline in pro-Brenner banter on the various forums in the last couple of days? Haven’t his positive #’s in the polls become stagnant? Where have the snide comments from the future Mrs. Brenner against various others within the party gone? Could it be just coincidence that this break from the Brenner’s on these forums parallels their vacation, or rather, does it provide further evidence that both of them are constantly on here talking themselves up and trashing everyone else? Ding ding ding! We have a winner!