My son, Ariel Furedi, died in Colorado Springs

L Brooks wrote:

To the mother of Ariel, I came across your letter while searching for a support group for my self. I also just lost a son on Nov.28th 2007. I truly understand what you are going through, I also don't know how to go on without my son. My son was 26yrs. old. I never knew anything could hurt this bad. Apart of myself died with him. I keep holding on to the promises that God is giving me, taking everything a minute at a time. I will be praying for both of us. Asking God to give us both peace, and that something good will come from our tragic losses. God Bless you!

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes I think that you must hang on to Gods promise. I have not lost a child but my brother died when he was 23 and our entire family was very sad since he had survived the middle of vietnam war. I can just imagine how sad it is losing a child of any age. Only prayer can help and you never forget only move on as you say "one minute at a time." May God Bless all mothers who are grieving for the loss of their children - and may God help those families whose children are trying to get "lost".

L Brooks wrote:

To the mother of Ariel, I came across your letter while searching for a support group for my self. I also just lost a son on Nov.28th 2007. I truly understand what you are going through, I also don't know how to go on without my son. My son was 26yrs. old. I never knew anything could hurt this bad. Apart of myself died with him. I keep holding on to the promises that God is giving me, taking everything a minute at a time. I will be praying for both of us. Asking God to give us both peace, and that something good will come from our tragic losses. God Bless you!

Losing a child has to be something most parents would never expect and the most horrible pain a parent could know. How any parent gets through it, would be a miracle and an individual process.

My greatest gifts were friends and family. They continue to check on me, talk to me and help me...one day at a time. Some of us will need medication for the 1st time in our lives, some will work as much as possible and some will find other ways to stay healthy and sane.

Some people will be gentle and empathetic, some will know the right things to say - others will avoid us, say awful things or just want to pry because they may lead empty lives.

I think feelings are part of life...my son's death is something I don't want to hide from people. In telling, I have heard stories and met some of the greatest people. One child wanted 3 police officers to escort her funeral procession, others couldn't state wishes because they were gone without notice.

In any case, there appear to be a LOT of people walking around who recently suffered losses of their children or prized grandchildren. Many people told me they cry in their showers. Many seem so grateful they could share their stories with me - rather than pretend they're happy and no one they loved has died. Some people talk about how their mothers survived the loss of 1, 2 or 3 children.

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your prayers; I (we) will need every prayer we could get. The only thing I know is that I won't pretend my son didn't just die. I won't pretend that I am not suffering, that I don't cry a lot or that I DESERVE to experience my grief and horrible loss in silence or alone. I will talk about it. We, as humans, should support each other.

A FEW people said, "Why do you tell people?" I tell because I want to tell, I want people to know it's okay to tell and I have met SO many people who wanted to talk about their family losses or who wanted to offer me words of comfort. I ignore the few others who don't care or don't understand. I tell because it's a part of life and normal to grieve when we lost a child we have loved since en utero.

I'm so sorry. Thank you, SO MUCH, for writing.

Ariel's paternal grandmother died a week ago. I'm sure Ariel's death increased her heart problem and deterioration. When I last talked to her, she said "I lost a son, too. Now, my son lost his son." She cried and cried.

To those of you young people, please consider how your actions will affect those who love and care about you. Death is permanent.

Dearest Ariel,

I too lost my 27 year old daughter last year.
She was a beautiful girl. Raised in church and christian shool. She graduated with scholarships.
She decided to go find herself, got in with the party crowd and got addicted to alcohol.
She was so good at hiding her addiction that no one knew how bad it was. She was so beautiful, she modeled and had a bit part in a movie.
But the fast life is dangerous. She went to a Saturday afternoon party, drank way too much, decided to go swimming in the pond, and when she held her breath to dive under the water, she passed out and sank to the bottom. It was her last breath of life. The pond had a deep spring, the divers did not find her for 3 days. You can imagine those 3 days for me.
I love my chidren more then my own life. I spent a lifetime trying to teach them the right way to go. I love the Lord, with all of my heart, and have been in the prayer ministry for years...seeing hundreds of people healed, delivered, set free.... Yet my daughter, knowing the truth, knowing the Lord, chose to walk on the edge, away from God.
I knew if things continued, she would either kill someone driving drunk, or she woud be found dead somewhere. I put her in God's hands, praying that God would do whatever it takes to bring her back to him.
The month before she left this earth, she cried out to God to help her...whatever it took. She was so addicted. When they found her she had a .42 alchohol level.

No words can express the loss. BUT...
God is bigger then all of this.
He promised that "All things work together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose"...so I know that she was taken home, and
I trust him for that.
I have heard people say...God dosen't kow how it feels...
well, he WATCHED his only begotten Son DIE...
he did that so that you "mom of Ariel" and I can
know that we can trust him with our most valuable possesions...our children. How awesome to read your first blog on here...where you were looking for any information you could find on your son, and you hear back from Pastors and people who could tell you that YOUR SON was serving the LORD... how awesome! Of all the mothers who lose children...you know that yours was HIS.
The word says "We DO NOT GRIEVE as the WORLD GRIEVE's"!!! It has been a year and a half, and I will never quit missing my baby girl...
but I now find great joy and comfort, knowing she is "Just over there with her father"....her heavenly father. I know I will have her for eternity...how many mothers can say that!
As time goes by, keep looking to the Lord, and he shall comfort you constantly...showing you signs that he has Ariel, and that God's plans are marvelous.

I ran across your letter. Sooooo sad. If it is any comfort to you. We can't make our children do and live as we wish they would. Sometimes they stray off.
We humans look at things through time tables and distance in life. Your son may have seemed distant to you while he was in Colorado Springs. After death there is no time or distance. Try to look at it this way. Your son is closer to you and knows more of what is going on with you now than before. Try to feel his closeness. Your hearts will forever be joined in love.
He was a gift to you from God. You did your job as a parent. He grew up and left your care. He is back in the care of our Father now. Trust in our Fathers care.

As we go along in life, I guess we keep learning. I know over 4,000 mothers and fathers and loved ones have lost their sons and daughters in the Middle East. Every night, Nancy Grace shows another young son or daughter who has died - leaving so many young children behind. I know famous people have lost their children: Carol Burnett, Bill Cosby, Marlon Brando, Anna Nicole Smith, the parents of Heath Ledger (whose parents were left a bitter-sweet memory of their son in a Batman movie in which Ledger may win an Academy Award). So far, former governor Jeb Bush has been lucky with his daughterstaying alive with drug use.

Many mothers of deceased children have a rough road. People avoid us, say things that hurt so bad and many of us are so lucky to hear empathetic and caring people say such nice things. Should we stay home to avoid the questions posed by strangers who appear more interested in something other than empathy, or do we venture out and encounter the human angels on Earth?

Should we develop a repetoire to questions during regular encounters? How many children do you have? How old are they? Where do they live? Do we stay home more and avoid the encounters?

Do we venture out with those who don't know the love we gave to our children? Some people want to prove or disprove parenting abilities to see what was done wrong. I suppose many people want to feel "it could never happen to them." Some don't realize that their children could be gone in a second...accidents, sickness, peers, random acts of violence, one bad decision, youth, war, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, life.

I said, "Take my home. Take anything but please don't take my children."

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Cher. Addictions aren't a choice. Accidental death isn't a choice. They say 15.1 people are alcohol-dependent in the U.S.(1-in-18 people). It could be a lot higher because women hide their vodka better.

There are SO many children, with such great potential, who have been (or will be) lost. Historically, people wore black for 2 years and mourned. Now, it seems, people want us to get back to the way we were - quickly!

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

i know it has been a while since the passing of your son. i didnt know him but i read your letter in the topic section of the internet. sorry for your loss.