My son, Ariel Furedi, died in Colorado Springs

My son’s father died and I don’t know if my son was ever able to see a positive side to life again. My son was Ariel John Furedi, 25 years of age. He had a twin brother and a sister.

My son ran away to your city. I didn’t know where he was. I wrote to him via e-mail but there were no answers since 2005 or 2006. Someone called my father and said my son died in your city of Colorado Springs. I haven’t stopped screaming and don’t know how I could continue with this pain.

Was there anyone who knew him? Anyone have pictures of him? Could anyone tell me about his life before he left me? Please. Please e-mail me privately about my son's personal life. I just want to know something - anything.

If anyone took care of my son in your city - thank you. How does one go on after losing a child?

Mrs Furedi

My son’s father died and I don’t know if my son was ever able to see a positive side to life again. My son was Ariel John Furedi, 25 years of age. He had a twin brother and a sister.

My son ran away to your city. I didn’t know where he was. I wrote to him via e-mail but there were no answers since 2005 or 2006. Someone called my father and said my son died in your city of Colorado Springs. I haven’t stopped screaming and don’t know how I could continue with this pain.

Was there anyone who knew him? Anyone have pictures of him? Could anyone tell me about his life before he left me? Please. Please e-mail me privately about my son's personal life. I just want to know something - anything.

If anyone took care of my son in your city - thank you. How does one go on after losing a child?

Mrs Furedi
donnamarie1211@yahoo.com

Mrs Furedi,
I'm a Master Sergeant stationed here in Colorado Springs. I also attend the church that your son Ariel attended at times. He was also a helper in the church when we opened up as a cold weather shelter. I had just spoken to Ariel Sunday 28 Oct. We just had small talk asking how he was doing and to stay encouraged. He would come to the evening worship and dinner for the homeless and less fortunate. That is what we do here at our church. Ariel was a very kind person and always willing to give a helping hand when needed. We will truely miss him and pray that God is watching over him. And I pray that He keeps watch over you also. God Bless You.

Clayton Brown, MSgt, USAF

Bill Chancy wrote:

HELLO
MRS FURED
MY NAME IS BILL CHANCY
I AM SENOR PASTOR OF GRACE BE UNTO YOU OUTREACH CHURCH
I KNEW YOUR SON, HE ATTENDED OUR CHURCH
I MET HIM IN 2006. HE FAITHFULLY ATTENDED THE CHURCH, AND ALSO HELPED OUT A LOT
DURING OUR COLD WEATHER SHELTER TIME.
YOUR SON WAS VERY HELPFUL AND MOST KIND PERSON
I MONTH AGO DURING OUR SERVICE FOR THE HOMELES, I ASKED YOUR SON TO GIVE SOME WORDS
OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO THE PEOPLE, AND HE STOOD UP AND READ HIS FEVORATE BIBLE SCRIPTURE
TO THEM. HE STAYED HERE AT THE CHURCH FROM TIME TO TIME.HE WAS QUIET AT TIMES BUT
VERY RESPONSIVE WHEN ASKED TO HELP.
I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOST AND CERTAINLY OUR LOST OF YOUR SON, BUT I BELIEVE HE IS WITH GOD
HE LOVED GOD VERY MUCH, AND SPENT MANY TIMES READING HIS POCKET BIBLE.
A MOTHERS LOVE NEVER DIES, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ATTACHED BECAUSE OF THE LOVE OF GOD
WE WILL BEING DOING A MEMORAL SERVICE FOR HIM SUNDAY AT 4:00 PM
IF YOU NEED TO CALL ME, PLEASE DO SO.
THANK YOU PASTOR BILL CHANCY

Dear Pastor,

I am sitting here sobbing so bad. Thank you for writing to me. I am in PA. and don't know your number. I guess I could look it up. What happened to my son? I loved him so much. I loved him so much.

Clayton Brown wrote:

Mrs Furedi,
I'm a Master Sergeant stationed here in Colorado Springs. I also attend the church that your son Ariel attended at times. He was also a helper in the church when we opened up as a cold weather shelter. I had just spoken to Ariel Sunday 28 Oct. We just had small talk asking how he was doing and to stay encouraged. He would come to the evening worship and dinner for the homeless and less fortunate. That is what we do here at our church. Ariel was a very kind person and always willing to give a helping hand when needed. We will truely miss him and pray that God is watching over him. And I pray that He keeps watch over you also. God Bless You.
Clayton Brown, MSgt, USAF

Could you please e-mail me at my donnamarie address? I need to know. Thank you. I have saved so many kids and I wish someone could've saved my child. I hurt so so so bad.

Clayton Brown wrote:

Mrs Furedi,
I'm a Master Sergeant stationed here in Colorado Springs. I also attend the church that your son Ariel attended at times. He was also a helper in the church when we opened up as a cold weather shelter. I had just spoken to Ariel Sunday 28 Oct. We just had small talk asking how he was doing and to stay encouraged. He would come to the evening worship and dinner for the homeless and less fortunate. That is what we do here at our church. Ariel was a very kind person and always willing to give a helping hand when needed. We will truely miss him and pray that God is watching over him. And I pray that He keeps watch over you also. God Bless You.
Clayton Brown, MSgt, USAF

Mr Brown,

I come from a family of military persons. Ariel's father served in the USMC; his paternal uncle and grandfather served in the Army. My father and all his siblings, aunts and cousins (even today) served or serve in the military. One of my maternal uncles was a Major in the USAF.

I don't know why I'm telling you this except to say that I don't know how this stuff happens to our children. I don't know how we work and work to be good parents, and somehow something happens.

I know you can't help me but I would have done ANYTHING for my son. I wrote to him via e-mail. Maybe, I didn't write enough. Maybe, I didn't write the words that could have saved him.

I know other parents have suffered and will continue to suffer by losing their children - their babies. A mother never dreams she will get this call. A mother fears getting this call every day of her life.

I don't know if I'm strong enough to know more. I want to know everything. I so loved my son.

Dear Lady,

My heart goes out to you. I'm a mother too. I just wanted to say something to you that helped me. Your son may have a better place to go on the other side and he won't be able to until you are better with his being gone from you. My prayers are with you.

A mother too
Valerie

Seems you were out of touch, where you been all his life?

OldTimer wrote:

Seems you were out of touch, where you been all his life?

I often wonder what satisfaction words such as these would give anyone? Why would someone want to emotionally harm another person already suffering? Most mothers would give their lives for their children and many mothers who have lost a child have all they can bear every day to stay alive with the pain.

If you know me, you have to know your statement was so wrong.

If you don't know me, it's up to you to gain an understanding of yourself and why you would say such a thing.

It's easy to hide behind a monitor and judge others while ignoring ones ownself in the mirror.

valerie wrote:

Dear Lady,
My heart goes out to you. I'm a mother too. I just wanted to say something to you that helped me. Your son may have a better place to go on the other side and he won't be able to until you are better with his being gone from you. My prayers are with you.
A mother too
Valerie

I have been one of those people who has tried to console so many parents who have lost their children. They say that kids who go to war in Iraq, never think they will be killed. I know most parents never dream their children would pass before them.

Many people possess beliefs...some believe we keep returning until we're perfect. Some believe this is our only chance at life. Some believe in an after-life, heaven, limbo, paradise, etc.

Whatever our beliefs, many of us have spent most of our waking moments trying to keep our children safe from harm, teaching them most everything they'll need to help them as adults, and hope they'll know success, happiness, and have better lives than we had.

Someone said, "I was planning my day when suddenly my whole world changed." My entire world changed. I know it has changed for others, too.

Thank you.

Ariel and his twin brother were precious handfuls. They filled our basement with butterflies, lightning bugs, bees and were always like little scientists. Their older sister had her hands full with these two. Women would later tell me that they would follow us to McDonald's or drive by our house, just to see what they were doing.

They went to school every day, some days playing tricks on their teachers (identical twins who sometimes switched clothes). Their mother loved them every day of her life and spent every moment trying to make their lives happy, healthy and fulfill dreams.

Ariel was always the scientist and very smart, as were his siblings. He was an ace on any computer, from an early age. FSU MAGNETIC lab said Ariel knew more than many of the graduates.

Ariel's family wasn't wealthy but the children were given home-cooked meals most every day, and Ariel attended baseball camp, took guitar lessons, Tae Kwon DO lessons, Boy Scouts, art lessons and anything else to give them something productive to do. Ariel and his siblings had collections of things, worked for their allowances, and earned good grades in school.

Their parents spent their money on Disney, going to different beaches, museums, frugal traveling and visiting their father's USMC training sites.
Life wasn't perfect but most people will tell you that Ariel and his siblings were never without their family. Then, Ariel's father died of lung and brain cancer. Ariel changed after that. Some peer gave Ariel a way to talk to his dead father via an over-the-counter product. I didn't know until an incident. Ariel said he made a mistake and we would all work as a family to mend the adolescent/ young adult emotions.

Ariel was my son. I loved him more than anyone could ever know. As many parents, I would have given my life for his or his happiness. I would have done ANYTHING to help him to lead a productive life.

To those of you who accompanied him on this substance journey and party of alcohol or painkillers, you could be next. Your families will NEVER be the same if you die. You could cause others in your family to commit suicide. PLEASE get help or PLEASE help others to get help.

People on some sites talk about Jesus and drugs? Why would Jesus want anyone to harm themselves? This kind of life affects not just you - it affects your families, people who love you, friends...because no man is an island. Everything you do, affects the world.

People who use substances lie to themselves and others. They may not enjoy life without using; learn hot to enjoy the simple things without using. There's so much to enjoy in life - substances just clouds our senses.

Those who self-medicate might need to find a way to respect themselves. We are ALL unique individuals. We ALL have worth. If you don't know your own self-worth, you might self-medicate. If you want to stop bad feelings or painful memories, you might self-medicate.

The problem is, life includes ALL feelings...the most awful to the best. If you self-medicate, your highs are artificial and your most awful feelings/ fears won't go away. I think Buddhists would deem you a spoiled brat if you think you only deserve to feel good and nice feelings. ALL feelings are part of life. Our attitudes affect feelings. We don't DESERVE for anyone to give us anything. If you want change - WORK on change. Complaining will probably find you complaining 10 years about the same problems.

Life is not for the chickens. One has to be brave. One has to keep getting up when knocked down. One has to learn from the difficult parts of life. In fact, they say we learn most with difficulty. Our difficulties make us who we are. It is part of our stories - our books of life. Those with no difficulties appear to have very thin (boring) books and usually look to others to help them with every trouble and ill. They may be akin to dependent children.

After 18, we're adults. We are responsible for our happinesses, our attitudes and everything else. No mommies or daddies to blame. We are responsible for ourselves.

We have everything we need to survive. Arguing negative thoughts is our job. Setting boundaries with people who try to harm us, is our job. Taking care of ourselves is our job. Treating ourselves nice is our job - we should do for ourselves what we would do for our best friends.

Anyone can make the world a worse place. My hope is that we are all nice to each other as humans. If we can't help each other, do nothing and get out of the way. Self-medicating, hiding and not living is not living. It is more like a coward's way to suicide - only longer. Playing with dangerous things can cause harm and death. Then, the living suffer after you've gone.

I don't know how to deal with my son's death. I am trying to learn how - one day at a time. I don't know if I'll be successful. I'm trying to help others to make some sense out of this waste of a wonderful son. I try to help others so less have to suffer.

I don't know why people watch as others self-destruct. I don't know why more of us don't check on each other more, or help each other more. I don't know the reason for parents losing their most precious gifts - the reasons for my being - my most important purpose in life. I know I'm not alone but I wish parents didn't have to get these phone calls after all the work, all the love and all the hopes for the future.

My wish would be that there would be no more "got out of hand" parties. My wish would be that people didn't want to make money from other people's sufferings. My wish is that all those self-medicating would find a way to life - bravely - and making use of all your talents and strengths. The world needs you all to help make it a better place.

One of my greatest gifts was a call from an apartment owner who rented to my son. A great gift was people who tried to help my son. I am so especially grateful for a Pastor Bill Chancy of Grace Be Unto You Outreach.

I will be mourning my son's loss for a long time - perhaps the rest of my life. My son was very special, very loved and someone's child.
Ariel John's mother

Colorado Springs, please shut down these (what you called) KNOWN places known for dispensing drugs (including alcohol) or placing them in people's drinks. Somebody could die - it could be your child or loved one, next.

To those of this group who thinks the US is a horrible place, filled with corruption. What are you doing about it? Our country was founded on citizen action - not sitting around complaining. Taking some legal action in my son's name would be such a gift and something more productive than self-medicating.

Mother-of-Ariel wrote:

My son’s father died and I don’t know if my son was ever able to see a positive side to life again. My son was Ariel John Furedi, 25 years of age. He had a twin brother and a sister.
My son ran away to your city. I didn’t know where he was. I wrote to him via e-mail but there were no answers since 2005 or 2006. Someone called my father and said my son died in your city of Colorado Springs. I haven’t stopped screaming and don’t know how I could continue with this pain.
Was there anyone who knew him? Anyone have pictures of him? Could anyone tell me about his life before he left me? Please. Please e-mail me privately about my son's personal life. I just want to know something - anything.
If anyone took care of my son in your city - thank you. How does one go on after losing a child?
Mrs Furedi

I thought only two girls died at Colo Springs shooting and the on your post is 11/4. The shootings did not happen till December?? Were there other shootings in Colorado Springs church? Confused!

M E Quintana wrote:

<quoted text> I thought only two girls died at Colo Springs shooting and the on your post is 11/4. The shootings did not happen till December?? Were there other shootings in Colorado Springs church? Confused!

My son's death had nothing to do with a shooting.

The loss of a child affects so many people in so many different ways. Many adolescents or young adults can't imagine how much they are loved and how much suffering will occur after their deaths.

Many parents and families have spent hours, days, years and decades protecting their children from harm. Then, peers dare each other or kids want to outdo each other or many think death will never happen to them. Some think death is an option to emotional pain but we don't really know for sure what will happen to us after we're gone. It could be akin to gambling and people take chances that their pain will end or they will go someplace better or see their loved ones.

A child's death is most every parent's nightmare. One lady attended her daughter's funeral, went to bed and intended to kill herself as she also learned her husband was "cheating" with his secretary. She used food, her other children, her job, Compassionate Friends and a LOT of suffering to get through the tragedy.

One lady lost her 25 year-old grandson, his brother was so upset about the death that he almost opted to end his life and their mother developed cancer. The grandmother of the boys said she spends a lot of time talking to her grandson on his grave while eating an ice cream, and sobs a lot in the shower.(The shower appears to be a common place for sobbing, screaming and release of emotional pain.)

I've been blessed with meeting a lot of grieving souls who have shared their stories, making me feel less alone...demonstrating the sufferings of so very brave people with great compassionate souls.

The stories about similar-aged children who died were told by some very generous people who, also, can't understand why, but share as gifts to a grieving mother - me.

As I watched a lighted boat parade in Florida, a young female was on her way to a Xmas drinking party. I told her what happened to my son. She said, "I'M 25! Thank you. Because if you, I will be more careful."

Mother-of-Ariel wrote:

<quoted text>
My son's death had nothing to do with a shooting.

Oh, I am so sorry - I misunderstood and I too want to extend my sincere sympathy to you. I have 3 sons and my heart goes out to you in this time of pain. In reading what the church members have to say about your son I think you can draw some solace that he was a good boy. May God be with you and your family.

M E Quintana wrote:

<quoted text>Oh, I am so sorry - I misunderstood and I too want to extend my sincere sympathy to you. I have 3 sons and my heart goes out to you in this time of pain. In reading what the church members have to say about your son I think you can draw some solace that he was a good boy. May God be with you and your family.

Thank you for your response. They say losing a child is the hardest thing a parent could endure. One never knows how much it hurts until you experience it...that phone call, that horrible drain of everything from your body, the screaming and wailing...as one mother who lost her 16 y.o. said - "Cry until you can't cry anymore."

I met a lot of people who lost their children...age 4, 10, teens, 20s, 30s, 40s and on. One thing the mothers all had in common was, no matter what age they lost their children, they still felt that nightmare of pain. Some said they went into seclusion for a year, some worked hard to escape the painful sorrow, some used substances to escape all of life and some leaned on faith.

Many parents my tell their kids how much they are loved but many kids don't appear to know about all the years of care their parents dedicated to their kids during their childhoods. Even though words may not be expressed, many parents love their kids more than words can express.

For those of you who ran away (and there are thousands and thousands), please find some way to tel your families that you are alive. Get a calling card (Target, etc.) and leave a message. Little problems could be fixed. You don't have to return home - just find some way to tell your families you are alive.

One lady told me she just wanted her freedom. She said she used some substance, a "friend" thought she was dead and left her in an abandoned car at a desolate area. Running away could leave you with these "friends" and not the people who really love and care about you - even if something happened to cause you to become estranged from your family. Many of you don't realize the dangers of this runaway freedom from your families. The outcome could be death. Te outcome could be your family may never find you or your body.

Maybe, you don't care about that, but your death will affect more people than you could ever know. You may not realize that you could have a better ending.

To the mother of Ariel, I came across your letter while searching for a support group for my self. I also just lost a son on Nov.28th 2007. I truly understand what you are going through, I also don't know how to go on without my son. My son was 26yrs. old. I never knew anything could hurt this bad. Apart of myself died with him. I keep holding on to the promises that God is giving me, taking everything a minute at a time. I will be praying for both of us. Asking God to give us both peace, and that something good will come from our tragic losses. God Bless you!