Southeast Kansas teacher accused of sex with student

I agree DAL people shouldn't be posting in a state of anger. I do understand AME standing behind her family but the name calling is uncalled for. What I don't understand is that they all act like this happened to Marcy, but the reality is Marcy made it happen. And as far as Kevin I know him he is a nice person. But that has nothing to do with the fact that someone should have stopped things or he should have stepped in and diverted the situation. But maybe like all of us would one puts on blinders to their own family. I was talking to a friend today and as far as Kevin and his ministry as we talked he needs to move and start again. There is no way that a situation like this will be forgotten. We had a minister a few years back that his wife was having an affair and it basically tore our church apart. He was a nice guy, sincere and I really think could have made a pastor but the church could not live with the turmoil it caused in his life and the church's. And I think that is what has caused so much interest in this. Is that TCC of course will rally around their own but put blinders on to the situation. It would be interesting to know what is being said at TCC now that she has been sentenced.

MVP, you are 100% correct that it was all Marcy.

This is the big issue that supporters of the molester just can't seem to accept, that the victim should carry no blame. They look at her relatively adult looking body, they look at her supposed provocative or enticing behavior and...BAM!...it stops there. Adult responsibility is suddenly thrust upon a 14 year old kid. No other considerations needed...case closed.

Supporters of the molester need to step back and ask themselves just how unusual, unnatural and aberrant that behavior is, for a 14 year old child to seek out sexual attention from an almost 40 year old adult. We hear about child pornography, child prostitution, etc....and there is always Always ALWAYS an adult who is either forcing or influencing those poor children's behavior. And lets face it, some kids have such warped and abusive parents and home lives, that yes, they do in fact enter the world as pubescent teens having learned to use their sexuality to influence people around them...friends, peers and even adults. The good Christians at TCC who support the molester perhaps feel that all such children should be held legally, morally, and ethically accountable for their behavior.... But I'm sorry, that only makes sense when you are looking to excuse the behavior of the adult(s) who lead them to, or take advantage of, those behaviors.

So fine, the molester in this case either steered a troubled and vulnerable child towards a sexual relationship; or the molester was turned on by this child's aberrant behavior and did nothing to discourage it, or distance herself from it. Marcy maintained her relationship with the victim, not because she was trying to help her (as AME described), but because she was sexually excited by her. The wanting to help her thing was just her excuse for maintaining close proximity to her victim. Perhaps it was in her plan from the beginning to try to worm her way between this young girls legs, or perhaps it was a more insidious and a less thought-out process. But clearly, Marcy enjoyed being around her victim...and it was Marcy who lead her down that path toward lesbian sex, not the other way around. Though perhaps to some it may have seemed like the child was the one leading her teacher toward lesbian sex...but please...get real...take your blinders off, and use your heads!

Either way, as MVP says, it was Marcy that was 100% responsible for making the sex happen. And throughout the process....Kevin Mote was there watching, with warning flags flying in his face. And he failed to act decisively. All he did was try to shut the troubled child out of their lives, rather than minister to her and her family. Which is probably what adults around her have been doing all her life, shutting her out. Just like what many of the TCC members did after the molestation ocurred... They shut the victim out. After all, who sat in the front pew under the spotlight of divine forgiveness for the past year...and during that time where was the victim?

It really is quite a sad....and it was oh so avoidable, if just one of the two grown-ups involved had just acted like a Christian adult.

UGH you are once again 100% on the money. Your insight is invaluable. What I have noticed is that AME seems to have the same solution as her brother, Kevin. Everyone shut up and disappear and this situation will simply go away. Kevin banned the child from his home, Ame is negating everyone here by referring to those that post as idiots and garbage. I asked my self how did Kevin think that "banning this child from the home" would prevent this situation. After all, Marcy had access to this child at school and in the church setting. She had opportunity and motive. Once she realized that her feelings were growing in an unnatural way toward this child, she should have gotten the immediate help that she needed to prevent this unspeakable tragedy. Instead, she not only pushed forward but used the excuse of "helping" this child as a reason for her continued advances.

If there is one thing that continues to stand out in all of this is that there was INEQUALITY IN POWER. Marcy was in a position of total power over this child. The perfect scenario for SEXUAL ABUSE. She was the child's TEACHER in more than one realm. That alone makes Marcy totally and completely responsible. The power imbalance was the perfect set up for the events that have unfolded in this circumstance.

I would have hoped that Marcy could have admitted her feelings and sought the help that she so desperately needed vs. using the excuse of "helping this child" as a way to excuse her behavior and move forward on this agenda of total destruction for all those involved. She chose to stay stuck in a situation that she was struggling with. It will also be my hope that what has happened to this young victim will not stop her from trying to move ahead. I hope that she will not stop trying to move forward and get past this trauma.

It appears that Marcy's family has done their best to use this to excuse something she did, no matter what, Marcy is responsible for Marcy, She is responsible for her and the things she did....and the things that she will do from this point forward...

This is but only one example of DENIAL, IRRESPONSIBILITY and the misunderstanding that our actions do not have inevitable consequences. No matter who we are or what position we hold in life, we will face the complete and total consequences of our every action that we participate in. Marcy this is the CONSEQUENCE.

Ugh, many of your postings have been brilliant (my opinion) but I think this was your best yet. The visual you painted of Marcy sitting on the front pew and the victim nowhere speaks volumes of some people's perception of the accountability for what happened.

It makes one think, if this molestation could have been avoided, how many others? Ugh has mentioned the molestations within the Catholic church. How many of those molestations would not have occured had the powers that be acted responsibly and not transferred the molesting priests to another church to repeat their behaviors? Again, if just one adult had acted...like an adult, Christian included, how protected children would be.

mvp wrote:

I agree DAL people shouldn't be posting in a state of anger. I do understand AME standing behind her family but the name calling is uncalled for. What I don't understand is that they all act like this happened to Marcy, but the reality is Marcy made it happen. And as far as Kevin I know him he is a nice person. But that has nothing to do with the fact that someone should have stopped things or he should have stepped in and diverted the situation. But maybe like all of us would one puts on blinders to their own family. I was talking to a friend today and as far as Kevin and his ministry as we talked he needs to move and start again. There is no way that a situation like this will be forgotten. We had a minister a few years back that his wife was having an affair and it basically tore our church apart. He was a nice guy, sincere and I really think could have made a pastor but the church could not live with the turmoil it caused in his life and the church's. And I think that is what has caused so much interest in this. Is that TCC of course will rally around their own but put blinders on to the situation. It would be interesting to know what is being said at TCC now that she has been sentenced.

You are absolutely right...I thought perhaps leadership learned a lesson here...but evidentally not.

Well DAL I think that as New Kid on the Block said a few posts back this had everything sex, religion, politics. I see TCC as a big religious machine, and the very thought that one of their own and a prominent one of their own had sexual problems and the problem was homosexual in nature they didn't know how to handle it. Because as a friend and I have have talk about recently is that Christianity has become all about juding and pointing fingers, hating homosexuals are on the top of the list, abortion and stem cell research you name it. And I am not saying that I think God
condones homosexuality or abortion but we are not the judges. We recently had a minister fill in for us and I agreed with him 100% Christianity has become something he can't recognize. As he said what he sees are people who call themselves "christian" on the street screaming they hate these people or always protesting something. It has nothing to do with Christ and what he taught and how he treated people and how he loved. It was on the news today Mike Huckabee who I thought I liked. A christian man and politician who seemed sensible. But he was speaking at the NRA
and there was a noise off stage and he made the comment it was Barak Obama ducking under a chair because someone was aiming a gun at him and of course laughter filled the crowd. Being a Christian isn't what Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter portray they are cartoon charaters. James Dobson
said if John McCain is the nominee of his party he won't vote, so it becomes political. All I am saying with all this rambling is that well what Christ was and his teachings are on the back burner. And I am not saying I am an advocate of the gay lifestyle I am saying when the "machine" becomes so bent on singling out one group of people and really bashing them where is Christian love there? And when one of their own has that problem that is when the fingers point the other direction because for heavens sake they can't have that because that is the major cause they are against so in fact they would have to be against Marcy. So when it says you will be judged with what you judge I take that as watch about getting on your high horse because it may come back to bite you. So DAL this may be the longest reply in history but I am afraid the TCC leadership didn't know how to react when one of the biggest "sins" to them happen to one of their own. So we each have to answer for our own sins to God, not to the religious right, to Pat Robertson, or anyone else!
So did they learn a lesson I doubt it, I am sure the machine rolls on.

Does anyone know when Marcy will start serving her time?

she has been serving it since feb.. i just wonder if she is getting special treatment up there under veachy's wing.. a cell all by herself secluded from all of the others.. bet she does

Does anyone know when you guys will stop talking about my family? Just asking I mean surely there are other topics now that are way more interesting, and maybe you can talk crap about other people's families on there, but please leave my family alone. enough is enough you are beating a dead horse. She has been sentenced and will serve her time... Move on please...

CJM wrote:

Does anyone know when you guys will stop talking about my family? Just asking I mean surely there are other topics now that are way more interesting, and maybe you can talk crap about other people's families on there, but please leave my family alone. enough is enough you are beating a dead horse. She has been sentenced and will serve her time... Move on please...

CJM:
I am very sorry that this is effecting you. Unfortunately your family member didn't take her family into consideration when she chose to act out in inappropriate behavior. Is this an isolated incident? We will probably never know. This is not something that can be swept under the rug or fed in the dark like a mushroom only to grow silently because it isn't exposed to the light. You want us to forget this, but do you think the victim(s) is soon going to forget that someone she thought was a protector became a preditor? She will carry this with her forever. Chances are it is going to cause trust and relationship problems for many years to come. I am sincere when I say that I am sorry for you and your family having to feel the consequences of someone elses actions. We can't hide the guilty or we are not protecting the innocent. The preditor did not consider the pain that this was going to, and has caused the family, much less the victim.

I should have edited my previous post. Sorry about the mispelling. Freaking spell check has ruined me.

Lola wrote:

<quoted text>
CJM:
I am very sorry that this is effecting you. Unfortunately your family member didn't take her family into consideration when she chose to act out in inappropriate behavior. Is this an isolated incident? We will probably never know. This is not something that can be swept under the rug or fed in the dark like a mushroom only to grow silently because it isn't exposed to the light. You want us to forget this, but do you think the victim(s) is soon going to forget that someone she thought was a protector became a preditor? She will carry this with her forever. Chances are it is going to cause trust and relationship problems for many years to come. I am sincere when I say that I am sorry for you and your family having to feel the consequences of someone elses actions. We can't hide the guilty or we are not protecting the innocent. The preditor did not consider the pain that this was going to, and has caused the family, much less the victim.

Lola I so agree what CJM probably doesn't understand is that the victim isn't just going to move on, it will affect her for the rest of her life. This will be there is some form forever for her, there will be trust issues and intimacy issues it will run the spectrum. I think why this won't go away is because there are these issues all the time. A minister in Carl Junction or over that way was just arrested for repeatedly molesting a girl in his church or girls after the service in the guise that it would be them closer to God. A friend called from Texas and a minister in a church in Plano with a congregation of 26,000 was arrested for meeting what he thought was 13 old girl for sex but it was a police sting. So I think the reason this blog has exsited so long is that it is such an issue in the world today. And so many times it involves members of the clergy or church leaders or teachers.

disgusted wrote:

she has been serving it since feb.. i just wonder if she is getting special treatment up there under veachy's wing.. a cell all by herself secluded from all of the others.. bet she does

I thought she was sentenced to 55 months in prison....when does that start? Do you mean she will continue her time in Montgomery County?

usually they take them right away. I'm assuming that they took her as soon as her court was over. She's not going to stay in the county Jail. From what I have been told she's there now and has been since her court.

In Oklahoma once you're convicted you stay in the county jail until the Department of Corrections is ready to "receive" you. The time spent in county is counted towards the sentence, even the time before sentencing. Again, here in Oklahoma everyone goes through Assessment & Reception then shipped out to the respective prison. I would imagine Kansas' system is similar. Marcy is no longer a county inmate but a state one. One of the problems here is a backlog of state prisoners in county jails.

Does it really matter at this point where she is serving her time? She's in jail, period, and the mere fact that this issue is still being discussed and dragged out here is beyond belief, especially when one of the family members indirectly involved is asking you all to move on and let it go now, and I do agree with him, enough is enough.
The emotional pain, anger and trauma that some of these comments are causing to the families involved is not necessary, on both sides of the fence, they all are going through some serious pain, pain which many of you may not realize is being caused here.
It's obvious that family members on both sides are reading these blogs and comments, and it may be taking its toll on them. Also, if anything, many of you speak on behalf of the victim, her pain, suffering, etc, and I do agree, this child will go through some serious issues probably for the rest of her life due to this, however, shes obviously old enough to use a computer, did anyone think that just maybe, she is also reading these? And by reading these, it is a constant reminder of what happened?
Basically, what Im saying, is this: all wounds are still way fresh and open for both sides of the coin here, family/victim, family/offender. The emotional pain and suffering on both sides is tremendous, and if none of you have gone through something like this before, you do not know what it feels like, period.
This is a life sentence for both the victim and offender, the victim will carry this memory for the rest of her life and need some serious counseling and therapy in order to become a hopefully productive member of society as an adult. The offender will be classified as a sex offender for the rest of her life and will carry that label around with her wherever she goes in the future.
The victims parents may even feel guilty to a point as well, maybe blaming themselves for not seeing what was going on, then will also need counseling to help them sort through the grief.The offenders husband will have to deal with his own feelings which are probably like an emotional rollercoaster for him as well, plus raise his kids without their mother. The offenders kids will be without a mom, and, depending on how old they are,will eventually start questioning where she is and why.
So, as I said, this whole ordeal affects everyone involved, on both sides of the fence and coin. I'm not bashing anyone, trust me, however, I think at this time, enough is also enough, and although many of you have brought up some decent issues, this is sounding more like a debate now, and it needs to end, if anything, for the sake of the victim, her family and the offenders' family.
Reading these blogs and comments may just be too much for them to take right now.
No one will ever know the entire truth as to what happened, who started it, why wasnt it noticed, etc etc. However, instead of debating these issues on the forum, maybe as a community, you guys should come together and try to prevent this sort of thing from happening again, period.How to prevent? Spend time with your kids, not on here posting comments, talk to your kids, know whats going on with them, make sure they know that they can go to you to talk about their problems if need be. After all, isnt that what being a parent is all about? The kids?
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and, hey, 19??? Hang in there !

to respond to TC NY. Really reading these blogs may be to much for them right now. Well they don't have to! If this was my family and I knew this blog was out there I wouldn't be reading. So don't blame the messenger. And to state the victim may be reading this and because of that it is a constant reminder.
Excuse me I am not sitting still for that. If you think people commenting on a social issure that is rampant in our country is wrong you are off base. And please don't blame the people here for reminder the victim of what was done to her. I am not a pedophile I think the memory of what the abuser did to her is enough. Obviously you are in the Mote and TCC camp with that last sentence about hanging in there. And that is okay but I don't accept those lectures from posters like you to shut me up. Please other bloggers state your opinions!!

You are right, MVP, reading and posting on this blog is voluntary. It's a choice. The pain Marcy's family is feeling has less to do with this blog and more with Marcy's actions. Same for the victim, should she read this. And let's not forget the 1st Amendment. It sounds as though TC_NY would prefer nothing be said, lest someone's feelings be hurt. One theme throughout this blog has been accountability and responsibility. If someone acts in an irresponsible manner, then, yes, people and feelings will be hurt. That doesn't mean one should be quiet and sweep it under the rug.

Hopefully through this blog everyone can learn something which they can apply in their own lives, be it more communication with your children, volunteer to help children, or just be more aware of the prevelence of abuse.

I don't know how much longer this particular blog will continue but it will as long as people feed it. Again, if you find this blog upsetting, then turn it off.

Upon further thought, think about this: this blog is open to everyone. What people are thinking, feeling, it's here and everyone knows where you stand.

What happens when Craig, Kevin, or Marcy's parents go to Wal-Mart and people talk behind their backs, as people have been and will continue to do so in varying degrees? I'm sure they don't announce over the loudspeaker to not speak about Marcy while they're shopping, lest is cause pain. But to say this blog is the cause of their continued pain? I don't think so; it's a small piece of the bigger picture. And think about it--some family members have gotten on here and lashed out. It's safe and they have taken some flack but also received support. If they lash out at the people they run into on the street or in the condom/pregnancy test aisle at WalGreens then they go to jail or are thought of as being as "crazy" as Marcy.

mvp wrote:

to respond to TC NY. Really reading these blogs may be to much for them right now. Well they don't have to! If this was my family and I knew this blog was out there I wouldn't be reading. So don't blame the messenger. And to state the victim may be reading this and because of that it is a constant reminder.
Excuse me I am not sitting still for that. If you think people commenting on a social issure that is rampant in our country is wrong you are off base. And please don't blame the people here for reminder the victim of what was done to her. I am not a pedophile I think the memory of what the abuser did to her is enough. Obviously you are in the Mote and TCC camp with that last sentence about hanging in there. And that is okay but I don't accept those lectures from posters like you to shut me up. Please other bloggers state your opinions!!

I have to agree with you. I do not understand why "we" are the bad guys here...because we want to understand why the decisions were made like they were. No, we do not know everything that has been said etc., but I can guarantee you, if the leadership blames this child, then they do not know all the particulars either. Voiceing opinions in this blog should not distress the victim here, most have been very supportive. However, if we were to be under the leadership of TCC, we would not be able to voice them...now that should cause a certain amount of distress!!! Remember Jim Jones? Like lambs to the slaughter!