Prom Parties

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Mall Owner

Troy, NY

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#26
May 24, 2012
 
A lot of it depends on how the parents behave. Believe it or not, kids end up emulating their parents. Do the parents drink regularly? At home? At bars? Do they have just a few to relax, or do they drink a lot?

If the parents drink a lot, then it is pretty hard to get your kids to avoid alcohol. They won't fall for the hypocrisy of being denied what they see their parents do.

The solution: don't drink or drink very little. Talk to your kids about why you don't drink. This won't work for all of them, and they will probably still want to try it our of curiosity, but they will far less likely to drink to excess.
Finally

Ithaca, NY

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#27
May 24, 2012
 

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"Wow" I totally agree with you. Half the problem with our teenagers is that their parents never tell them NO! Trying to justify hosting an underage drinking party for teens based on the reasoning that "they are going to do it anyways" is absolutely absurd. You can use that same reasoning to allow your teens to have sex in your house while you are there then you can make sure the condom is put on properly.

Believe it or not some teens do listen and choose not to participate in drinking or sex. Some teens actually have goals and are motivated and do not want to risk their chances of achieving them by drinking/pregnancy/drugs.
whatsayyou

Saratoga Springs, NY

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#28
May 24, 2012
 
Wow wrote:
<quoted text>
Not on my watch. Condoning this behavior is REALLY bad parenting. Enabling it or making it easy for them is even worse. "Oh, I'm just going to do it anyway Mom and Dad, so you might as well host my party". What a crock and no way. We are responsible for our kid's behavior until they're 18. 21 in some situations. I'll be damned if I'm going to be responsible for a houseful of drinking kids on top of that. Just say no, seriously. It may save their life.
You did not answer the question that was asked. If the kids are going to do it anyway, how are you to stop it?
whatsayyou

Saratoga Springs, NY

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#29
May 24, 2012
 
Finally wrote:
"Wow" I totally agree with you. Half the problem with our teenagers is that their parents never tell them NO! Trying to justify hosting an underage drinking party for teens based on the reasoning that "they are going to do it anyways" is absolutely absurd. You can use that same reasoning to allow your teens to have sex in your house while you are there then you can make sure the condom is put on properly.
Believe it or not some teens do listen and choose not to participate in drinking or sex. Some teens actually have goals and are motivated and do not want to risk their chances of achieving them by drinking/pregnancy/drugs.
Sounds like you have a problem with your child having sex. Kids have sex every where. If your kid us having sex that is your parenting.
whatsayyou

Saratoga Springs, NY

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#30
May 24, 2012
 
Mall Owner wrote:
A lot of it depends on how the parents behave. Believe it or not, kids end up emulating their parents. Do the parents drink regularly? At home? At bars? Do they have just a few to relax, or do they drink a lot?
If the parents drink a lot, then it is pretty hard to get your kids to avoid alcohol. They won't fall for the hypocrisy of being denied what they see their parents do.
The solution: don't drink or drink very little. Talk to your kids about why you don't drink. This won't work for all of them, and they will probably still want to try it our of curiosity, but they will far less likely to drink to excess.
What if the parents do not drink?
Finally

Ithaca, NY

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#31
May 24, 2012
 
"whatsayyou" how did you get that out of my post?

My parenting skills are just fine. Thanks for your concern though! LOL!!
GOOD juju

United States

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#32
May 24, 2012
 

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everybody learns about drinking too much the same way-

hugging the ole porcelain throne. the smart ones figure out how to drink in moderation.
whatsayyou

Saratoga Springs, NY

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#33
May 24, 2012
 
Finally wrote:
"whatsayyou" how did you get that out of my post?
My parenting skills are just fine. Thanks for your concern though! LOL!!
I believe the discussion was about parents whom allow their kids to have parties consuming alcohol. Know one mentioned(other then you),that sex occurs at parents homes. Sex will occur other places, same as alcohol.
Finally

Ithaca, NY

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#34
May 24, 2012
 
I was using it as an example to show how ridiculous the arguement of...if they are going to drink then they might as well do it at a parents house....

Oh Never mind obviously you did not read my post or fail to comprehend it....I am done wasting my time trying to explain it to you...

Thanks for the laugh though.....
amused bystander

Waterbury Center, VT

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#36
May 24, 2012
 

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they are going to do it anyway, supervised or not...if they are going to drink (which they will)wouldnt it be better under a controlled supervised environment rather than be a headline in the paper "teens die in car accident"???? as long as they are 18,have their parents permission, i say GO FOR IT! at age 18, they have the right to vote, the right to fight and die for their country (which they are doing)why cant they be allowed the right to choose to drink responsibly?because the state would lose precious highway funding money thats why! because some MADD zealots pressured congress back in the 70s to pass legislation back in the 70's to mandate raising the drinking age to 21 or lose federal highway funding thats why! times are different now...children are much better educated about alcohol awareness and drinking responsibly...better a supervised party if it saves even ONE young life needlessly snuffed out! i know first hand...i went to an unsupervised party in high school and lost four good friends who left that party in a car and died in a head on collision...went to see the car the next day and that image will be burned in my mind forever! i almost got in that car!!! but decided not to...the choices we make are a part of growing up..BTW...i did not drink on my prom night...i ate a marijuana brownie instead...food for thought.....
amused bystander

Waterbury Center, VT

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#37
May 24, 2012
 

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Yup wrote:
<quoted text>
No hell involved. It's about appropriate role modeling and giving your kid the best possible start in life. That DOES NOT involve helping children pickle their livers and completely erode their sense of right and wrong.
If you host an alcoholic party for your (and other) children, that DOES make you a really bad parent, among a number of other things.
you have never fathered and raised a child, have you yup? is it because no self-respecting woman would let you within 10 yards of her of could it be another problem you might have???
haters gonna hate

New York, NY

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#38
May 24, 2012
 

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amused bystander wrote:
<quoted text>you have never fathered and raised a child, have you yup? is it because no self-respecting woman would let you within 10 yards of her of could it be another problem you might have???
Thank you! He is speaking completely hypothetically after googling all sorts of
COOL catch phrases.
haters gonna hate

New York, NY

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#39
May 24, 2012
 
amused bystander wrote:
they are going to do it anyway, supervised or not...if they are going to drink (which they will)wouldnt it be better under a controlled supervised environment rather than be a headline in the paper "teens die in car accident"???? as long as they are 18,have their parents permission, i say GO FOR IT! at age 18, they have the right to vote, the right to fight and die for their country (which they are doing)why cant they be allowed the right to choose to drink responsibly?because the state would lose precious highway funding money thats why! because some MADD zealots pressured congress back in the 70s to pass legislation back in the 70's to mandate raising the drinking age to 21 or lose federal highway funding thats why! times are different now...children are much better educated about alcohol awareness and drinking responsibly...better a supervised party if it saves even ONE young life needlessly snuffed out! i know first hand...i went to an unsupervised party in high school and lost four good friends who left that party in a car and died in a head on collision...went to see the car the next day and that image will be burned in my mind forever! i almost got in that car!!! but decided not to...the choices we make are a part of growing up..BTW...i did not drink on my prom night...i ate a marijuana brownie instead...food for thought.....
Well now your crossing into an entirely different thing. The amount of children here smoking pot is crazy & they do it nearly everyday!! It's no big deal to them and post about on their fb accounts as if it is legal!!
please stop talking

New York, NY

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#40
May 24, 2012
 

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Yup wrote:
<quoted text>A situation such as you describe is ripe for family counseling. Any child who drinks every day could perhaps benefit from rehab. As far as the parents go? I suppose there is such a thing as heavy social drinking, but in my opinion the daily consumption of any mind altering substance would merit a good long look.

Here is what you've told me: the parent says no, knowing the child will do whatever, anyway. This child has been raised on mixed messages. The parent has modeled this. The time to get this stuff in hand is way before it begins. I don't think it's a very good idea to be modeling daily drinking for young children, social or not. I think this situation presents a generational issue that would best be looked at in a family counseling situation. Of course, every situation is unique. Depending on the family, one might access a good counselor through a priest or minister, or an EAP program at work, or county mental health, or the AA number in the phone book (although it's virtually guaranteed that you WILL reach a non- professional there, and one who might be blind to anything but AA... just know that if you call), or any treatment center. Locally, a prominent center is St. Joseph's. Any of that would get you started.

As far as age appropriate activities, after the prom? How about a supervised party, even an all night party, WITHOUT the alcohol? Sodas, juice, food, music (maybe even a band?)... do it someplace fun... get your kids to plan it so they're invested in it. I'm sure anything like that would get a great deal of support... as a much better, far healthier alternative to an all night drinking binge. For MINORS.

It's easy to say, "Break the pattern". It's not so easy to DO it. But in all reality? You owe your kids a clean, healthy start in life, unencumbered by patterns of use and abuse. Who knows, you might even see some stuff that's been a part of you over a lifetime, that is not the healthiest way to live, and you could be better off for it as well.

Good luck.
You never answered my question. And you assumed all that nonsense to be my thoughts and beliefs on the subject. Again Mr I Know You, you profiled yet another one of us wrong. Get a new job cause your bad at this one. Seriously you have no one to talk to do you?
amused bystander

Waterbury Center, VT

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#41
May 24, 2012
 

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haters gonna hate wrote:
<quoted text>
Well now your crossing into an entirely different thing. The amount of children here smoking pot is crazy & they do it nearly everyday!! It's no big deal to them and post about on their fb accounts as if it is legal!!
i know im sorta going off topic here but the sad fact is parents would much rather see their teenagers drink than smoke pot...and of course they will sneak some of that into the party if they can...but the question i have is, how many fatal car accidents have you heard of where marijuana was SOLEY involved?(and im not talking about the driver dropping a lit joint in his/her lap either...)the point is, kids at that age think they are 10 feet tall and bulletproof and nothing will ever change that...live and learn, live and learn....
puraqua

Pennellville, NY

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#42
May 24, 2012
 

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Yup wrote:
<quoted text>
A situation such as you describe is ripe for family counseling. Any child who drinks every day could perhaps benefit from rehab. As far as the parents go? I suppose there is such a thing as heavy social drinking, but in my opinion the daily consumption of any mind altering substance would merit a good long look.
Here is what you've told me: the parent says no, knowing the child will do whatever, anyway. This child has been raised on mixed messages. The parent has modeled this. The time to get this stuff in hand is way before it begins. I don't think it's a very good idea to be modeling daily drinking for young children, social or not. I think this situation presents a generational issue that would best be looked at in a family counseling situation. Of course, every situation is unique. Depending on the family, one might access a good counselor through a priest or minister, or an EAP program at work, or county mental health, or the AA number in the phone book (although it's virtually guaranteed that you WILL reach a non- professional there, and one who might be blind to anything but AA... just know that if you call), or any treatment center. Locally, a prominent center is St. Joseph's. Any of that would get you started.
As far as age appropriate activities, after the prom? How about a supervised party, even an all night party, WITHOUT the alcohol? Sodas, juice, food, music (maybe even a band?)... do it someplace fun... get your kids to plan it so they're invested in it. I'm sure anything like that would get a great deal of support... as a much better, far healthier alternative to an all night drinking binge. For MINORS.
It's easy to say, "Break the pattern". It's not so easy to DO it. But in all reality? You owe your kids a clean, healthy start in life, unencumbered by patterns of use and abuse. Who knows, you might even see some stuff that's been a part of you over a lifetime, that is not the healthiest way to live, and you could be better off for it as well.
Good luck.
A discourse on morality from a frustrated, anonymous, coward.
please stop talking

New York, NY

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#43
May 24, 2012
 

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amused bystander wrote:
<quoted text>i know im sorta going off topic here but the sad fact is parents would much rather see their teenagers drink than smoke pot...and of course they will sneak some of that into the party if they can...but the question i have is, how many fatal car accidents have you heard of where marijuana was SOLEY involved?(and im not talking about the driver dropping a lit joint in his/her lap either...)the point is, kids at that age think they are 10 feet tall and bulletproof and nothing will ever change that...live and learn, live and learn....
Valid point. Unfortunately there is a young lady that is currently living with the possibility of jail because of driving while impaired. I am not mentioning names as we all know the story.

I don't know what the right answer is regarding drinking or pot with these kids but it's not a new problem and it's by no means going away anytime soon. They are not afraid of dying, getting hurt, hurting others, losing license, not having license, jail time, police, their parents, others kids parents, or anything I have forgotten.

Instead of poking fun at people and acting ridiculous we need to put our minds together and figure out how to save all the kids.
Wow

Troy, NY

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#44
May 24, 2012
 

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puraqua wrote:
<quoted text>A discourse on morality from a frustrated, anonymous, coward.
Soooo....your real name is puraqua? We are all pretty much anonymous, here...so I guess all of us with fake posting names are cowards...including you.
Look Closely

Troy, NY

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#45
May 25, 2012
 

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I can remember a time in the not so distant past that parents did not take great exception to having their children at parties where alcohol was served. If the parents were responsible in the amount served and keep watch, there generally was not a problem. Things then changed in three significant ways,,,ONE the legal drinking age was increased from 18 to 21. The DWI laws were changed to make it more restrictive to drink and drive with greater penalty attached to the DWI, This was the government getting involved to control both youth and drunk driving. Next the Lawyers entered the arena, and began to sue parents or adults who gave or allowed younger persons to use alcohol at their homes. The lawyer could not sue the kids, as the kids had no money, so they sued the parents of the kids, or any adult who had some how contributed to the drinking. Due to these 3 changes,, the face of prom parties and others with youth have changed significantly in the past several years. If you believe that the changes have significantly lowered the number of accidents involving young people and driving,, then this was indeed a good thing..If you look at it as having the government and lawyers controlling more and more aspects of our daily lives that is quite another.The view you take is your business. Just commenting on why prom parties have changed.
whatsayyou

Saratoga Springs, NY

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#46
May 25, 2012
 
please stop talking wrote:
<quoted text>
Valid point. Unfortunately there is a young lady that is currently living with the possibility of jail because of driving while impaired. I am not mentioning names as we all know the story.
I don't know what the right answer is regarding drinking or pot with these kids but it's not a new problem and it's by no means going away anytime soon. They are not afraid of dying, getting hurt, hurting others, losing license, not having license, jail time, police, their parents, others kids parents, or anything I have forgotten.
Instead of poking fun at people and acting ridiculous we need to put our minds together and figure out how to save all the kids.
I hear what you are saying. Todays kids have no fear. You can tell your kids over and over not to do things but once they leave the house they fear nothing.

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