Paternity laws called archaic

Interesting wrote:

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Whom do you suggest pays for this test to be done? This is not a cheap test.

As someone said, it should be a required part of the process for a newborn. When you compare it to paying child support for up to 18 years, it is not that expensive. Tests can be done for less than $1,000.

Thanks for your help!

Duped Dad wrote:

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As someone said, it should be a required part of the process for a newborn. When you compare it to paying child support for up to 18 years, it is not that expensive. Tests can be done for less than $1,000.

That is fine but if the mother is sure of who the father is why should she have to pay any of that. I would understand if she points out the wrong guy as the dad but come on. That is wasting the mother's money for something she may not have any question about

Interesting wrote:

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That is fine but if the mother is sure of who the father is why should she have to pay any of that. I would understand if she points out the wrong guy as the dad but come on. That is wasting the mother's money for something she may not have any question about

If the relationship is rocky to where the mom is giving birth/paying for it alone then maybe half the costs can be recouped from the biological father

If the couple is pretty solid (marriage, long term cohabitation) then the cost would be a shared expense.

There is no down side except maybe an upfront cost to a child going home with the certainty of their lineage

Wilson wrote:

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Yea but your son picked her.

Yea, you are right. But I have no legal choice in that matter. I mean, when they got their marriage license, the clerk didn't ask if I approve.

So, I just had to learn to love my daughter-in-law, and accept her into the family.

Interesting wrote:

Support payments are to raise child. maybe not all women use it correctly but many do. I also said that we should not generalize either. Saying that support payments just help unsavory women is horrible. I was pointing out that it takes 2 to make a child so 2 people should be responsible for paying to raise that child.

I don't think that such a statement, that mothers use child support for their own benefit, is an over generalization. Matter of fact, I am quite sue that a MAJORITY use the money (child support) to pay for at least some of their own living expenses.

My point is that it should be illegal for ANY of the child support to be used for anything but for the benefit of the child.

Possibly, a concrete example is needed to illustrate this point.

Let's say a mother pays $600/month for a 2-bedroom apartment. One bedroom is for her, and one for the child. Let's add that in the same building, a 1-bedroom goes for $500/month.

It is WRONG for the mother to use $600 of the child support to pay rent. It is WRONG for the mother to use $300 of the child support to pay rent.

The "extra" in rent would be the difference between $600 and $500, which is $100. However, I strongly stress that BOTH parents are responsible for an equal share of the child's expenses. So, the mother is responsible to pay 1/2 of the $100, or $50.

That leaves that only $50 of the father's child support can be used toward rent. One dollar more, and the mother goes to jail for miss-use of the child's support money.

equal custody,sounds better,most woman ,these get pregnant so they can get some kinda of support,and it doesnt matter how they get it,they dont love the mann to begin with,they dont like mens rules,but like the sex part about man,its logical, in how we all go to be.

i know alot of woman knew they were screwing so called bad boys,but didnt care,they just wanted a piece of ass,, to see how it feels,(sex)

most woman are unfit to raise children, let alone communcate to men

Interesting wrote:

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That is fine but if the mother is sure of who the father is why should she have to pay any of that. I would understand if she points out the wrong guy as the dad but come on. That is wasting the mother's money for something she may not have any question about

Haven't you ever seen any daytime tv where girls come on with their babies and swear that a certain guy is the father. They do a test and presto, he's not! I say PROVE IT.

"Interesting wrote:
Support payments are to raise child. maybe not all women use it correctly but many do. I also said that we should not generalize either. Saying that support payments just help unsavory women is horrible. I was pointing out that it takes 2 to make a child so 2 people should be responsible for paying to raise that child."

I always love this theory. It takes two to make the baby so two should be responsible for raising it but a man has no say if he wants her to get an abortion. If a man wants her to get an abortion and she doesn't then she pays everything. Until they both have an equal say there is no other fair way.

Sound Reasoning wrote:

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I don't think that such a statement, that mothers use child support for their own benefit, is an over generalization. Matter of fact, I am quite sue that a MAJORITY use the money (child support) to pay for at least some of their own living expenses.
My point is that it should be illegal for ANY of the child support to be used for anything but for the benefit of the child.
Possibly, a concrete example is needed to illustrate this point.
Let's say a mother pays $600/month for a 2-bedroom apartment. One bedroom is for her, and one for the child. Let's add that in the same building, a 1-bedroom goes for $500/month.
It is WRONG for the mother to use $600 of the child support to pay rent. It is WRONG for the mother to use $300 of the child support to pay rent.
The "extra" in rent would be the difference between $600 and $500, which is $100. However, I strongly stress that BOTH parents are responsible for an equal share of the child's expenses. So, the mother is responsible to pay 1/2 of the $100, or $50.
That leaves that only $50 of the father's child support can be used toward rent. One dollar more, and the mother goes to jail for miss-use of the child's support money.

Well in your line of thinking then...anytime that child needs to go to school, friends house, buy anything at all, or needs something done for the child....the father should be 50% responsible...so if it costs $2.00 to run to the store to get school supplies and $20 at the store for the supplies...each parent should pay $11....come on...what world do you live in that you can divide everything exactly even. What about all the time out of the woman's life that she would otherwise have free to maybe work or go to school to improve herself...thus making more money...she may be the mom but the father is not having to take as much time out of his life, assuming mom has primary custody. The child gets sick who is the one taking care of all the needs most of the time calling off work and if too much time is taken off with a sick child...loosing income.

Let us also consider your apartment scenario....first how do you know that the woman would not have a roommate if the child was not in the picture...thus cutting her cost...or maybe she would have taken a cheaper apartment in a different section of town that may not have been safe for children but ok for a single adult.

There are so many ways to go with this situation. The problem, in my opinion, is that adults so often do not act as adults and be honest and do the right thing.

I receive child support, have not asked it to be raised in over 7 years because I can make it on what I get and give his father a chance to live also. There are some women out there....quite a few that I know...that take care of there child or children and don't rake the father threw the mud. I not it may not be the norm but....that is like me saying all men leave their child...very much not the case.

Sticks and Stones wrote:

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Haven't you ever seen any daytime tv where girls come on with their babies and swear that a certain guy is the father. They do a test and presto, he's not! I say PROVE IT.

There is a difference....here is an example for you....sleep next to each other every night, spend everyday together, only apart to shower and go to classes in college, go home to one of each others family's homes for Sunday dinner and still be asked to prove the father of the child...sometimes the father just does not want to face up to the responsibility either. There are many cases like this as well.

I work with someone that was married 20+ years or so to a woman in California. She decides to go lesbain and left him. Because they were married so long he has to pay her alimony unless she remarries. Like that is going to happen. Anyway, he got the short end of the stick. I am amazed he has risen above it all

Interesting wrote:

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There is a difference....here is an example for you....sleep next to each other every night, spend everyday together, only apart to shower and go to classes in college, go home to one of each others family's homes for Sunday dinner and still be asked to prove the father of the child...sometimes the father just does not want to face up to the responsibility either. There are many cases like this as well.

As well he should. And it should be done automatically at birth for all children as part of the routine lab work. All babies born.

Sure some men split town or try to weasel out of their obligations (as do far more a percentage of non-custodial mothers) but there are mechanisms in place for that. Huge bureaucracies and law firms exist solely for that reason. The deadbeat dads are now posted on wanted lists, denied licenses and in some cases thrown in jail. Society already looks scornfully at a man who does not support his children.

With such serious consequences, why should society accept one woman's word on who the father is? Why should any man she slept with do so? Why is it such an affront to some women that independent proof be required in addition to their word?

jjrg7 wrote:

I work with someone that was married 20+ years or so to a woman in California. She decides to go lesbain and left him. Because they were married so long he has to pay her alimony unless she remarries. Like that is going to happen. Anyway, he got the short end of the stick. I am amazed he has risen above it all

That sucks...Poor guy...alimony is out of control in alot of situation. I don't understand how if you choose to leave you are entitled to it..I know it is the law but I dont understand it...you are an adult go support yourself.

Interesting wrote:

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There is a difference....here is an example for you....sleep next to each other every night, spend everyday together, only apart to shower and go to classes in college, go home to one of each others family's homes for Sunday dinner and still be asked to prove the father of the child...sometimes the father just does not want to face up to the responsibility either. There are many cases like this as well.

You are right but in some cases like my husbands he is not the father so why should he have to pay? He also thought he knew the women he had a child with come to find out she is a liar and he is forced to pay for that lie.

Interesting wrote:

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That is fine but if the mother is sure of who the father is why should she have to pay any of that. I would understand if she points out the wrong guy as the dad but come on. That is wasting the mother's money for something she may not have any question about

The mother may not have a question but how is a man to know ? People lie and my husband is living proof of this. He was told through out her pregnancy that he was the father they already had on child together so why would he question the paternity of the second?

Well it turns out that my husband did not father her child and is still forced to pay support to a women who lied and commited fraud. That is why it should not be an issue at every birth DNA should be done and as a mother I would want my husband/boyfriend to know the truth.

It is not an easy thing to find out that you are not the father of a child you have raised and supported. It is also very hard to fight for custody or visitation of a child that you have no biological ties too. I know a PF victim who has not seen the twins he has supported from birth because they now live with their biological father to which he is forced to pay child support too.

So as you can see this is very unfair and needs to be stopped and if the only way to do so is DNA testing at birth then why not. As a mother I would not be offended if I was asked to prove that my husband fathered his child because I have nothing to hide.