Optimist brings out the best

Optimism is great. Because of the horrible economy I've lost my job, my wife, my house, my dog and both my primary and secondary reasons for living. But on the bright side my effective tax rate is 0%.

I didn't actually lose my job but feel for those that have. If you decide to go out in a blaze of glory I hope you take a rich banker with you.:)

There's a story told about an elderly lady in South Bell. The state voted----AND horry-norry Fall-in VETOED IT) to increase welfare payments to indigents. Hoping for a tear-jerker story, a Tulsa television interviewer went into the back hills where many welfare recipients lived.

The old woman he chose to interview lived in a one-room shack: draughty in winter; stifling in summer. Her bed was a few rough planks nailed together, with a pine-needle mattress. A couple thin blankets, and a fireplace, did little to protect her from the cold.

Her furniture, a table and two chairs, were fashioned from the same rough wood as her bed. Some shelves held a few cans of food from the general store, a fifteen mile walk down the road. Several jars of preserves and a few squash completed her larder.

She had no fridge or freezer. The fireplace provided heat for cooking. With no phone or television her only connection with the outside world was an old radio that pulled in two or three local stations on a good day.

The old woman had one convenience, running water. A crystal clear stream gurgled a short distance behind her home.

A small garden near her back door provided fresh vegetables during the summer, and some squash and turnips for the winter. A tidy flower garden brightened the front of her house.

The television crew arrived and set up their big expensive cameras. Their mobile station broadcast pictures of the woman and the place she called home.

Eventually the interviewer asked the old woman, "If the government gave you $200 more each month, what would you do with it?"

Without hesitation the woman replied, "I'd give it to the poor."

I always hated talent shows as a kid. My etch-a-sketch talents never did much for a quick skit, and the singing, dancing girl always one. I was pretty good with a pogo stick, but nobody ever cared.

I alway hated to be in those little shows in the church. Never fit in. The preacher's brat always got the good part of playing satan.

I always had to play an angel or a tree. No speaking parts.

The preacher sons went on to become famous bank robbers and I had to settle on being a Corporate Raider and screwing people over.

DistinctlyOK wrote:

I always hated talent shows as a kid. My etch-a-sketch talents never did much for a quick skit, and the singing, dancing girl always one. I was pretty good with a pogo stick, but nobody ever cared.

I cared.

Left Hooverville wrote:

Optimism is great. Because of the horrible economy I've lost my job, my wife, my house, my dog and both my primary and secondary reasons for living. But on the bright side my effective tax rate is 0%.
I didn't actually lose my job but feel for those that have. If you decide to go out in a blaze of glory I hope you take a rich banker with you.:)

we should not have to pay for the choices that others decided to make. go find a cheaper dog!

up yours!

Haywire83 wrote:

<quoted text>
I cared.

As did I.

DistinctlyOK wrote:

I always hated talent shows as a kid. My etch-a-sketch talents never did much for a quick skit, and the singing, dancing girl always one. I was pretty good with a pogo stick, but nobody ever cared.

Thats because most of the judges at those things are pedophiles. I cant believe some of the shit that goes through some of these teachers heads while watching highschool sports and jr high sports. I have a friend who is a neurologist that studies peoples thought patterns and stuff like that while doing different things.
Crazy disgusting immoral as fuck teachers