Reading your child's text messages, emails, facebook messages, etc

Posted in the Bowdon Forum

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“Jesus loves me (and you)!”

Since: Jul 10

Douglasville, GA

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#1
Feb 17, 2011
 

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My husband and I believe that until they are a certain age then it is completely fine to do this in order to see what they are discussing with their friends. To keep up with their life to see how they are interacting with others. To make sure they are not saying or doing anything they should not be doing. While doing this we came across something on our 10 year old son's text messages that was not appropriate for a 10 year old to be discussing.(The textcame from his 12yr old girlfriend. My husband called his ex-wife (the mother of the 10 yr old) and told him about this. She got mad saying we were invading her son's privacy. Keep in mind, we pay for the cell phone. But we thought the information was very important being he lives with his mom (who is bestfriends and next door neighbors with the 12yr girlfriend's mom). The ex was not concerned about what the text said at all and blew it off like it was nothing, but trst me it was something. She just got very angry about us looking at the text messages and invading her son's privacy.

Anyways, my question is....... Do you think a parent has the right to read this kind of information or do you think it is invading the child's privacy? What is your opinion and why?
they have no rights

Villa Rica, GA

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#2
Feb 17, 2011
 

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until THEY pay for their phone, which normally is after they get a job and have moved out for good...then it is our job as parents to check everything we can to help them stay on the right path as much as possible. I check all the time and will continue too.You are in the right, do what you want.

Since: Jun 10

Happyville

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#3
Feb 18, 2011
 

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Just ask yourself how you would feel if your child got in to some kind of trouble because of it. How do you think a judge would respond to you saying, "Well, I didnt check up on what they were doing because I didnt want to invade their privacy". Sorry, but if it was my kid, I'd be reading what I wanted to, go into their room when I wanted to, and ask questions when I wanted to. My parents were like that with me, and I learned at a young age that I couldnt get over on them, so I never even tried to!
However......I dont think I would give my 10 yr old a phone, especially with texting.

“Is Topix really like this????”

Since: Jan 11

Bremen Georgia

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#4
Feb 19, 2011
 

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Its just a basic part of parenting to know what your children are doing, where they are doing it and who are they doing it with.
Many today treat their kids like they are mini-adults.

Since: Jun 10

Bowdon, GA

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#5
Feb 19, 2011
 

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To my thinking, a child has no right to privacy. I believe that privacy for a child has to be EARNED. A 10yr old is too young to understand the consequences of "sexting". So many parents are sexualizing their young children and, then, act horrified that they are expressing sexual behavior. Instead of worring about how his mother is taking the information, I would worry more about where he learned the improper behavior. What is going on at his mother's house?
oxy cotton

Ellijay, GA

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#6
Feb 20, 2011
 

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Mom needs to get her head out of the sand. Not just the phone, but tv, radio, computer and friends should be critiqued by parents until the child has proven otherwise. There are too many temptations out there for children to get into. It is the parents responsibility to check these things out periodically. Check their rooms, book bags, everything, and let them know you do it!
xXdedeXx

Mobile, AL

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#7
Aug 7, 2011
 

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YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!!!??????? AT THERE AGE THEY NEED PRIVACY ALL THEY WILL DO IF YOU READ THAT STUFF IS MAKE THEM MAD AND YOU THINK THAT THEM BEING MAD IS NOT BAD WELL THE BEING MAD MAKE THEM REBEL AND GOTH OR EMO DOWN THE RODE THEN WHAT NOW YOU REGRET READING THEM AND JUST WANT YOUR REGULAR KID BACK YOU ARE ALL BUTT-CLINCHED SNOBBY DUMB UPTIGHT IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!
they have no rights

Villa Rica, GA

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#8
Aug 7, 2011
 

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xXdedexx you must be a child. Luckily I have headed off some issues by reading text...Kids DO NOT think like adults therefore they need guidance in every aspect of growing up.If they don't have anything to hide then they won't mind...to bad if they don"t like it!

Since: Jun 10

Bowdon, GA

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#9
Aug 7, 2011
 

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xXdedeXx wrote:
YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!!!??????? AT THERE AGE THEY NEED PRIVACY ALL THEY WILL DO IF YOU READ THAT STUFF IS MAKE THEM MAD AND YOU THINK THAT THEM BEING MAD IS NOT BAD WELL THE BEING MAD MAKE THEM REBEL AND GOTH OR EMO DOWN THE RODE THEN WHAT NOW YOU REGRET READING THEM AND JUST WANT YOUR REGULAR KID BACK YOU ARE ALL BUTT-CLINCHED SNOBBY DUMB UPTIGHT IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!
Spoken like a 10yr. old! There is a reason that children are not allowed to fend for themselves in this country. When you grow up and become a parent, you will see how ridiculous your comments are.
comments

Duluth, GA

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#10
Aug 7, 2011
 

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xXdedeXx You are the reason parents are like this. I am seventeen years old and my parents have never been like that towards me. After things have happened with older siblings they have become more aware of what we do they are being more and more strict... well not strict they just like to blow up my phone with calls and text messages asking when I will be home whenever I go somewhere. They don't or haven't ever really cared where I go or what I listen to, and they NEVER look at text messages/facebook account or anything of mine. They usually just ask. I mean, I won't lie to them. But in your case, for giggles, I don't see any problem in that. HE'S TEN.
WWITB

Carrollton, GA

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#11
Aug 7, 2011
 

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xXdedeXx wrote:
YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!!!??????? AT THERE AGE THEY NEED PRIVACY ALL THEY WILL DO IF YOU READ THAT STUFF IS MAKE THEM MAD AND YOU THINK THAT THEM BEING MAD IS NOT BAD WELL THE BEING MAD MAKE THEM REBEL AND GOTH OR EMO DOWN THE RODE THEN WHAT NOW YOU REGRET READING THEM AND JUST WANT YOUR REGULAR KID BACK YOU ARE ALL BUTT-CLINCHED SNOBBY DUMB UPTIGHT IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!
No grown up uses the term emo. Get off Topix tiny one.

Since: Jun 10

Bowdon, GA

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#12
Aug 7, 2011
 

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xXdedeXx wrote:
YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL!!!??????? AT THERE AGE THEY NEED PRIVACY ALL THEY WILL DO IF YOU READ THAT STUFF IS MAKE THEM MAD AND YOU THINK THAT THEM BEING MAD IS NOT BAD WELL THE BEING MAD MAKE THEM REBEL AND GOTH OR EMO DOWN THE RODE THEN WHAT NOW YOU REGRET READING THEM AND JUST WANT YOUR REGULAR KID BACK YOU ARE ALL BUTT-CLINCHED SNOBBY DUMB UPTIGHT IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!
....and you are so outraged by this thread that you waited 6 MONTHS to express your opinion? What's the matter honey? Mommy and Daddy catch you sexting your math teacher again?

“17 time middleweight champion ”

Since: May 10

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#13
Aug 7, 2011
 

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Ghostygal wrote:
<quoted text>....and you are so outraged by this thread that you waited 6 MONTHS to express your opinion? What's the matter honey? Mommy and Daddy catch you sexting your math teacher again?
Somebody get MS04 on the phone and find out what subject that Hatchett guy taught. Was it Math? Lmao

“Get off my lawn”

Since: Jul 10

Bremen, GA

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#14
Aug 7, 2011
 

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Why does a 10 year old kid need a cell phone, and why does a 10 year old kid have a 12 year old girlfriend? Maybe I'm in the Stone Age, but when I was a kid if I needed a phone I used a payphone (I know there aren't a lot of those anymore) or asked a store if I could use theirs. And I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend or date until I was 15.

Hmph.
MOM

Carrollton, GA

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#15
Aug 8, 2011
 

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I totally agree that until my child is either and adult or can pay for his own cell phone, internet and computer...I have every right to check text messages and check the history on his computer.
rebel

Carrollton, GA

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#16
Aug 8, 2011
 
Many parents give these kids anything they want..I believe the generation now is a lost generation..
I have never seen so many lazy,rude,you owe me attitude in my life.
In my household if you don't like the way I run this ship,take what you brought into this world and that would be ZERO..
Realistic

Villa Rica, GA

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#17
Nov 14, 2011
 

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I personally think, parents should talk to their children about their lives. Not invade. When we were their age, we all know we hated our parents being nosey. I am not saying being your child's friend. you have the name "parent" for a reason. Being a guidance,and leading your child in the right way is what you need to do. Trust them until they give you a reason not too, but you have to understand you were their age too. Might not of had phones, facebook, and twitters, but you did things too. Sometimes you have to let you child learn from their mistake before you step in. Give them space, and understand if you read and become nosey they are just going to rebel. The worst thing a child can do is rebel, and keep everything from you.
parent

United States

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#18
Nov 14, 2011
 

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As long as the child is in my house, the only privacy they can expect is in the bathroom. No matter what the age. Check phone, txt, email, social sites and anything else.
wow 10

United States

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#19
Nov 14, 2011
 

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parent wrote:
As long as the child is in my house, the only privacy they can expect is in the bathroom. No matter what the age. Check phone, txt, email, social sites and anything else.
AMEN!!!!
Bilbo

Clayton, Australia

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#20
Jan 25, 2012
 

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You're all terrible human beings. Your posts are all using different words, but I read them all the same. All I see are excuses.

As a parent, you have a huge amount of power over your children, and you're abusing it to be a control freak. You're sacrificing your relationship with your child just to indulge your curiosity and paranoia, something adults would never stand for. But you can get away with it because you're inflicting it on a child.

'But I pay the bills','I'm just protecting them','I have the right'.

Bullshit.

Employers often pay their employees phone bills, that doesn't give them the right to read their messages (actual legal precedent here).

And statistically your children are more likely to be sexually abused by *you* than by anyone else.

Christ I wish more people would treat their children like human beings.

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