The Bible

Hello,

Many people have never read the bible, who can blame them. As it is considered by some to be a very important book, I'd like to give you the short version which will provide you with all you need to know.

A long, long time ago an all-knowing wizard in the sky made two people which he knew would piss him off. When they eventually did, he punished them and sent them off to produce even more people who he knew would piss him off even more. When they eventually did he up and killed damn near all of them.

Eventually the all-knowing wizard in the sky became so fed up with the people he made, doing things which he knew in advance they would do, knowing all along that those things would piss him off, that he took his son and nailed him to a cross. Then he says, "SEE? Now look what you made me do. You should be ashamed of yourselves."

That is really it! The rest is pretty much just filler.

gh jp smp

The story of Abraham

http://i.imgur.com/srzRZ.png

john tremblay wrote:

gh jp smp

You mad brah?

The story of Job

http://i.imgur.com/tevs8.png

The story of Moses

http://i.imgur.com/oUFqq.jpg

The story of Creation and Salvation

http://i.imgur.com/Ot9dD.jpg

The story Elisha and the Bears

http://i.imgur.com/MYZLD.jpg

Empiricist wrote:

The story of Abraham
http://i.imgur.com/srzRZ.png

no the story is you

What happens when fundies read posts making fun of the bible.-> http://i.imgur.com/X5Fui.png

What happens when rationalist think about what happens when fundies read posts making fun of the bible.-> http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/...

It's just the internet people, have fun and try not to stroke out because some people prefer not hate people for not believing like them and do not meet in groups once a week to play pretend and listen to bed time stories.

john tremblay wrote:

<quoted text>
no the story is you

LMFAO! I can always count on you to show up. You live to read posts like this. The #1 fan!

Haters gonna' HATE!

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media...

Empiricist wrote:

<quoted text>
LMFAO! I can always count on you to show up. You live to read posts like this. The #1 fan!
Haters gonna' HATE!
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media...

better story

walking tall

Fundamentalism Step-by-Step

1) SEE POST LAMPOONING HIS RELIGION
2) DO THIS FOR JESUS -> http://www.youtube.com/watch...
3) RESPOND WITH RAGE POST (Empty Threats or Crazy Nonsense = Bonus Points)

Example of Crazy Nonsense:

john tremblay wrote:

<quoted text>
no the story is you

Nuh-Ugh! The story is you. LOL! Your move...

Example #2:(Crazy Nonsense)

john tremblay wrote:

<quoted text>
better story
walking tall

Empiricist wrote:

Example #2:(Crazy Nonsense)
<quoted text>

much, much, better story.

hansel and gretel

Empiricist wrote:

Example #2:(Crazy Nonsense)
<quoted text>

much,much,much,much better story

little red riding hood

Hey John, if you are THE infamous john tremblay, keep up the logic bombs. Your posts detailing the absurdity of religion and arguments refuting the apologist are always a good read. The angry rantings of those you logically pwn are fun to read as well. Great summary of the bible too, if that was you.

Rationalist wrote:

Hey John, if you are THE infamous john tremblay, keep up the logic bombs. Your posts detailing the absurdity of religion and arguments refuting the apologist are always a good read. The angry rantings of those you logically pwn are fun to read as well. Great summary of the bible too, if that was you.

much,much,much,much,much better story

3 little pigs

The three little pigs would not have come out well had they been part of the bible. In the fantasy universe of the bible pigs exist to not be eaten and as convenient repositories for demon spirits before they run into large bodies of water. Weird right? Why didn't the priest in the exorcist use a pig like Jesus? Jesus never sprinkled holy water or something gay like that. Jesus just said "Bitches, get yo' ass out that MO-FO and in to this pig. Now run your scary ass off and kill yourself." Jesus was the original gangsta, the OG, with 12 homies and his bottom bitch Mary. Jesus was all like "What, we out crunk juice?" Then took a bottle of dirty water and magically made that bitch into a 40oz for his mom. Jesus was getting crunk up in Nazareth.

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