Priests seek ideas to help newlyweds | The Columbus Dispatch

Hard to take advise from men who have never been married or in a relationship.

Leslie wrote:

Hard to take advise from men who have never been married or in a relationship.

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!

why is this even news?
marriages would be better if men who have never been married and peddle fairy tales would leave their noses out of it...stop worrying about a "christ centered life" and have a "life-centered life", focus on your life now and how you can make the world better now, how you can show your love to your significant other

Did this gaggle gather when Bush lied and we found ourselves invading a sovereign country? Hhhhmmmmm, don't recall that ....

Leslie wrote:

Hard to take advise from men who have never been married or in a relationship.

actually that is false. Some priests have been married, and their wives have passed away. It is also a requirement for one to date before entering seminary to study for the priesthood....
So, yes, they may have had experience in marriage, and all of us have dated.

"A group of priests from the Cleveland diocese said couples have a better shot if they stay connected to the church".

Yeah, nothing like a little weekly guilt to keep you together!

Have to laugh wrote:

"A group of priests from the Cleveland diocese said couples have a better shot if they stay connected to the church".
Yeah, nothing like a little weekly guilt to keep you together!

Doesn't Jesus Christ take onto Himself our guilt and shame so that it can be crucified with Him? Do we not offer our prayers, works, joys and sufferings to Him at every Mass? Does He not thus serve as expiation for our sins? Does He not then present us to the Heavenly Father?

1. I agree that priests are not the best to explain how marriage works. For the person who says you have to date before seminary, dating is NOTHING like marriage.

2. Being mentored by older married couples is a better idea. Talking with your parents is a good idea too, if people are comfortable with that.

3. People have to drop some of their selfishness for a marriage to work. You have to be more committed to "Us" than to either of the individuals.

From a guy who's been married 30 years.

Part of the problem is the idea that the local Church tribunals tend to want everyone to have a "good" marriage. Any marriage in which one of the parties sues for divorce is deemed, ipso facto, to have been a "bad" marriage. The tribunal then goes to work to construct a legal fiction in which they attempt to deny that a sacramental marriage ever existed. Even a "bad" marriage can be considered "good" if, by suffering through it, one can reach Heaven. Check the writings of John Paul II to verify this; he even went so far as to beatify Elizabeth Canori Mora for fidelity in marriage to an immature, unfaithful, abusive husband - who later repented and became a Franciscan priest.

liberal AND proud wrote:

1. I agree that priests are not the best to explain how marriage works. For the person who says you have to date before seminary, dating is NOTHING like marriage.
2. Being mentored by older married couples is a better idea. Talking with your parents is a good idea too, if people are comfortable with that.
3. People have to drop some of their selfishness for a marriage to work. You have to be more committed to "Us" than to either of the individuals.
From a guy who's been married 30 years.

I concur with you 100%. Moreover, it is important to create a "boundaries" around one's marriage, agreeing that finances, in-laws, work situations, other friendships, etc., are not allowed to intrude or affect the marriage. Work on charitable projects together. Practice Natural Family Planning. And, most importantly, be prepared to forgive one another "70 times 7..."

(from a guy who has been married 31 years)

I had a friend who went to a priest one time trying to seek help for a very abusive husband. She was told to go home, pray for help and remember she married for life. Wasn't that great advise. She lived her entire life in fear and sadness. It was a very sad thing to see and the church was actually condoning his behavior.

When we we married by a local Catholic church, they not only required 6 months of pre-Cana, but they also assigned a married couple to us to mentor us during the engagement.

We met separately with the priest and the married couple, both as a couple and alone. Our priest was very blunt about what issues he and the couple sensed we could have in the marriage.

At the end of the day, marriage is about serving God and building a mini-church in every home, which is not the values espoused by our secular definition of marriage.

By the way, what is the secular definition of marriage this week?

Hey Bishops get a clue.
Try using Jesus teaching method.
First you set the example, do the deed and then you answer any questions... Like St. Peter and his own wife.
Oh that's right I forgot. You think you and your priest's are god sitting on his throne and can't be married to a real woman. You have to be above it all telling other people what to do and what to not do. Our infallible chaste Peter.
Until you make full restitution, reparation, and triple damages for fraud and obstruction of justice to me and all the other sex abuse victims of priests you have no authority to teach anything but hypocrisy. Maybe a Bishops wife would have heard the complaints of the victims with the ears of Gods Love. Maybe a priest wife would season his ministry with that love in a way that exposes your own religious hierarchical fraud. Playing god ain't the same as serving gods love. Get a wife. If she can put up with you phony's maybe I will.
Semper ICXC et SPQR

Chris wrote:

I had a friend who went to a priest one time trying to seek help for a very abusive husband. She was told to go home, pray for help and remember she married for life. Wasn't that great advise. She lived her entire life in fear and sadness. It was a very sad thing to see and the church was actually condoning his behavior.

There were many churches who used to pass on that advise. Not true these days. Churches no longer tell a wife to "submit and obey" an abusive husband, or vis-a-versa. Churches now see the wife as an equal partner in the marriage.

Yes, the church has made mistakes, just as the people who make up the church have made mistakes. But the church has learned. and , for the most part, we are all moving towards a healthier, happier future.

Yeah, everyone, what would a priest know about keeping a lifelong commitment? Unlike a married person, it's not like any of them ever made a solemn-lifelong commitment to God or anything.

Marriage is about commitment.

The ignorance on this is overwhelming.

On one side of their mouth, they want to deny marriage - even legal marriage, not just religious marriage - to thousands of people who want to marry.

On the other side of their mouth, they complain that other people don't want to get married.

I agree that priests and bishops are not the ones to be telling married folks or those about to be married how to stay married. They have not been in that kind of a relationship and do not have first hand experience. Nor are they trained counselors, so they do not have the professional experience either. The few that have been married is irrelevant. The priesthood and marriage are incompatible from the Church's perspective. I like the idea of older married couples doing the training. They should know what it takes. One other point. Isn't it ironic that these guys met and did not invite married couples to the meeting. Talk about arrogance. They think they know everything and don't need to listen to married folks. How boring!!

Dana wrote:

On one side of their mouth, they want to deny marriage - even legal marriage, not just religious marriage - to thousands of people who want to marry.
On the other side of their mouth, they complain that other people don't want to get married.

But, one way is the RIGHT way. The other is not marriage at all, but a fallacy and an insult to true marriage.

Marriage is between a man and a woman. That's all there is to it.

Right Sider wrote:

<quoted text>
But, one way is the RIGHT way. The other is not marriage at all, but a fallacy and an insult to true marriage.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. That's all there is to it.

Who died and made you judge and jury? My marriage is none of your business.

Right Sider wrote:

<quoted text>
But, one way is the RIGHT way. The other is not marriage at all, but a fallacy and an insult to true marriage.
Marriage is between a man and a woman. That's all there is to it.

Gay marriage is not an insult to my heterosexual marriage, at all. Don't know where you think you get off telling me what insults me, or others for that matter. Marriage should be between any two people who love each other and are committed to each other. Read Amendment XIV to the U.S. Constitution. Any TRUE American understands this. THAT'S all there is to it.