Topix Chitown Regulars

Posted in the Bensenville Forum

Comments (Page 3,354)

Showing posts 67,061 - 67,080 of96,140
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:

“It made sense at the time....”

Since: May 09

Des Plaines, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67861
May 30, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
To be fair to Matilda and J, they were thrown into parenting a little too late in the game. The rest of you got to work gradually to older kid/teen issues.
a neighbor of ours growing up took in 4 foster kids to add to their one bio-kid. 3 of the fosters were older than the bio-kid, 12, 13 and 15 (bio kid was 10, & youngest foster kid was 8). poor neighbor was overwhelmed at times. my mom got all these calls, like "omg, all the clothes on the floor!" "the girls (12 & 13 YO) spend so much time on the phone!" and stuff like that. my mom laughed, and said welcome to parenting teens! that was the worsts of it, the clothes on the floor, and they were 2 girls in one small bedroom and the 3 boys in another small bedroom, and 1.5 baths for the 7 people in the house!

not that these kids had a walk in the park upbringing prior to their placement iwth the neighbors (and htey all "aged out" of the foster system with this family and keep in good contact with them), yet they worked things out and thrived. but then, even thoguh they were thrown into parenting, the kids were younger and still a little more "impressionable" than mathilda's SIL at 16, 17 was it?

keep up the good work mathilda & J!!

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67862
May 30, 2012
 
Aisle Sitter wrote:
<quoted text>
a neighbor of ours growing up took in 4 foster kids to add to their one bio-kid. 3 of the fosters were older than the bio-kid, 12, 13 and 15 (bio kid was 10, & youngest foster kid was 8). poor neighbor was overwhelmed at times. my mom got all these calls, like "omg, all the clothes on the floor!" "the girls (12 & 13 YO) spend so much time on the phone!" and stuff like that. my mom laughed, and said welcome to parenting teens! that was the worsts of it, the clothes on the floor, and they were 2 girls in one small bedroom and the 3 boys in another small bedroom, and 1.5 baths for the 7 people in the house!
not that these kids had a walk in the park upbringing prior to their placement iwth the neighbors (and htey all "aged out" of the foster system with this family and keep in good contact with them), yet they worked things out and thrived. but then, even thoguh they were thrown into parenting, the kids were younger and still a little more "impressionable" than mathilda's SIL at 16, 17 was it?
keep up the good work mathilda & J!!
I feel like those kinds of people (1) just LOVE kids and (2) have huge hearts. I am neither. God (or FSM) bless 'em for acting on that love. The world's a much better place.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67863
May 30, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
and I see what I said was already covered.
1. I like sub's long post with advice.
2. I really like Jess's "You can't kick her out, you're her "parents" now!"
3. I wonder if it would have ANY effect on SIL if you said, "Look, you will lose roommates and friends if you do this in a shared living situation. So even if you think our rules are dumb or you don't agree with WHY these things need to be done, you do need to understand that most people agree with us on this, and if you want to fit in and have friends..."?
I dunno. I'm at a loss.
We have *definitely* done number 3. Like "This is not to be mean or controlling, it's so you can function in the real world and not have people who live with you hate you. And so you don't end up a crazy cat lady on Hoarders."

Came to light last night when we were at camp with her that she may not have made as many friends/gotten along last year as she would have us to believe, which isn't terribly surprising.

Her friend from school, H, is working at camp for the first time this year and got there before we did and introduced herself to some of her fellow teenage workers. Came up that H had gotten the job through SIL and these other kids were like "Oh, crap,*she's* coming here again this year?" So H tells us this when SIL's in the bathroom or whatever. H is now our snitch. We told her that if SIL is making enemies left and right again, find out why and we'll talk to her. SIL means well, I know, but the clingyness, immaturity, and flair for drama is a losing combination. We know she doesn't have many friends (and H is one of the ones that ditched her on prom night), but we don't have a whole lot of insight to help her, beyond what we see at home.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67864
May 30, 2012
 
Wow, H may be SIL's enemy but her best friend at the same time.

Not unusual that everything we observers have suggested, you've tried. Figures. Stupid teens.

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67865
May 30, 2012
 
And honestly, that makes me feel more for SIL. She's struggling.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67866
May 30, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree!!!
last night I was telling Nick about Tonka, how infuriating it was to read his posts, go back and forth with him. Over time, it became obvious that he is a very logical person, asks honest questions, and has a real problem with people who want to dictate what other people do and how they do it when it really is of no concern to them.
And he wants to raise polite kids. Winner!
It took me a bit to understand Tonka. Kinda thought he was a troll. Now I can fairly accurately predict how he'll respond to most letters.

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67867
May 30, 2012
 
RedheadwGlasses wrote:
Wow, H may be SIL's enemy but her best friend at the same time.

Not unusual that everything we observers have suggested, you've tried. Figures. Stupid teens.
J has an incredibly open relationship with her and he's been trying to knock the poor white trash mentality out of her head since she was in elementary school. He's never like "Don't do this" without explaining, in detail why she shouldn't. It just often goes in one ear and out the other.

We haven't talked about what's going to happen yet. He is piiiisssed. I guess she managed to get cell service last night and texted him, so she knows she's in deep chit.

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67868
May 30, 2012
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
It took me a bit to understand Tonka. Kinda thought he was a troll. Now I can fairly accurately predict how he'll respond to most letters.
You mean with astounding insight and wisdom, right?

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67869
May 30, 2012
 
Heh, Angus chewed and swallowed a tiny tennis ball tonight. It was the squeaky kind we bought for Dex when he was a puppy and his mouth wasn't big enough for a regular one. Luckily, I saw him do it and hauled him in to the vet riiiiight before they closed. Took x-rays and they said he must have chewed it in to small enough pieces because there was nothing that looked like it would cause a blockage. And he's acted normal the whole time. *shrug*. Guess he figured I was bored or something.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67870
May 31, 2012
 
Ry's class is going on a field trip to a farm today. It is their first day long field trip and he is so excited that he woke up at 5.30 (he usually gets up around 7.30).

I'm not going with them and I am so looking forward to having a couple hours to myself this morning while both boys are at school. There is one mom who won't let her son go on field trips unless she goes, too. So unhealthy for both of them, plus she is not a good chaperone to the rest of the class.

“suffers from formicophilia ”

Since: May 09

Braidwood, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67871
May 31, 2012
 

“Fort Kickass”

Since: Sep 09

Bloomington, IL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67872
May 31, 2012
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
Ry's class is going on a field trip to a farm today. It is their first day long field trip and he is so excited that he woke up at 5.30 (he usually gets up around 7.30).

I'm not going with them and I am so looking forward to having a couple hours to myself this morning while both boys are at school. There is one mom who won't let her son go on field trips unless she goes, too. So unhealthy for both of them, plus she is not a good chaperone to the rest of the class.
That's so weird. My mom always volunteered for field trips, much to my dismay as I got older, but she kept kids in line and helped do whatever needed to be done. I bet that sucks for the teacher, with a lot of moms working and the volunteer pool dwindling.

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67873
May 31, 2012
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
That's so weird. My mom always volunteered for field trips, much to my dismay as I got older, but she kept kids in line and helped do whatever needed to be done. I bet that sucks for the teacher, with a lot of moms working and the volunteer pool dwindling.
I know I was working and had to miss most of the ones my sons had.
I got to go on the trips with the loaners though. I went on most of the ones for the kindergarten, first and second grade trips the years I was caring for two in the same grade.

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67874
May 31, 2012
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>That's so weird. My mom always volunteered for field trips, much to my dismay as I got older, but she kept kids in line and helped do whatever needed to be done. I bet that sucks for the teacher, with a lot of moms working and the volunteer pool dwindling.
Thankfully there are still a lot of SAHMs for the kindergarten class. A couple of my friends are chaperoning, too, and Ry has been assigned to one of them (yay!). They have texted me pictures already.

I haven't been on any of the field trips yet, but my husband went on one of the little ones. I figure it's good for him to see how other 6 year olds act and it is always good to have a dad around to bring the boys to the bathroom :)

“This is SPARTA!”

Since: Dec 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67875
May 31, 2012
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
There is one mom who won't let her son go on field trips unless she goes, too. So unhealthy for both of them, plus she is not a good chaperone to the rest of the class.
This has been a topic here among the co-workers every now and then. Some of them have at times, taken time off from work to go chaperone a field trip. I, at present, have no intention of ever doing that. They like to give me shit about that, tongue in cheek, about how I don't love my kids or my kids will be disappointed. But the fact is, my parents never chaperoned any kind of school function and I never felt like I was missing out on anything.

“Licensed to Ill”

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67876
May 31, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>This has been a topic here among the co-workers every now and then. Some of them have at times, taken time off from work to go chaperone a field trip. I, at present, have no intention of ever doing that. They like to give me shit about that, tongue in cheek, about how I don't love my kids or my kids will be disappointed. But the fact is, my parents never chaperoned any kind of school function and I never felt like I was missing out on anything.
I don't plan on it either. My mom was a SAHM, and she went on a few, but my dad, who worked never went to any. I didn't then and I don't now feel horribly slighted. Taking a vacation day to experience the joys of supervising a crap load of kids doesn't sound particularly pleasing to me. Plus, I have 3 kids. If I use a vacation day for one, I'd have to do that for all of them.

I'm also pretty sure if I asked my kids, if they'd rather have me use a vacation day and go on one of their field trips or have them go on their field trip without me and have me use my vacation day to take them to the beach in the summer, that they would choose the latter.

Since: Jun 09

Madison, WI

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67877
May 31, 2012
 
Matilda77 wrote:
<quoted text>
We have *definitely* done number 3. Like "This is not to be mean or controlling, it's so you can function in the real world and not have people who live with you hate you. And so you don't end up a crazy cat lady on Hoarders."
Came to light last night when we were at camp with her that she may not have made as many friends/gotten along last year as she would have us to believe, which isn't terribly surprising.
Her friend from school, H, is working at camp for the first time this year and got there before we did and introduced herself to some of her fellow teenage workers. Came up that H had gotten the job through SIL and these other kids were like "Oh, crap,*she's* coming here again this year?" So H tells us this when SIL's in the bathroom or whatever. H is now our snitch. We told her that if SIL is making enemies left and right again, find out why and we'll talk to her. SIL means well, I know, but the clingyness, immaturity, and flair for drama is a losing combination. We know she doesn't have many friends (and H is one of the ones that ditched her on prom night), but we don't have a whole lot of insight to help her, beyond what we see at home.
The more you talk about this, the more it sounds like you've tried just about everything.

Since: Jun 09

Madison, WI

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67878
May 31, 2012
 

“bELieve”

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67879
May 31, 2012
 
Mister Tonka wrote:
<quoted text>This has been a topic here among the co-workers every now and then. Some of them have at times, taken time off from work to go chaperone a field trip. I, at present, have no intention of ever doing that. They like to give me shit about that, tongue in cheek, about how I don't love my kids or my kids will be disappointed. But the fact is, my parents never chaperoned any kind of school function and I never felt like I was missing out on anything.
I know we have talked about this on here before, too. I think it is important for the kids (all kids, not just yours) to see dads involved, too. Plus, I think it's ok for us, as parents, to go a little out of our comfort zone every once in a while and do something new with our kids.

I do realize, though, that my husband gets more vacation time than many people. If you only get a week off, then of course you would want to spend that entire week with your whole family. But if you have extra vacation days, just know that the schools really appreciate dads helping out. Communities work best when as many people pitch in as possible.

“What's it to ya?”

Since: Mar 09

Tacoma, WA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#67880
May 31, 2012
 
Jess in NJ wrote:
<quoted text>
I know we have talked about this on here before, too. I think it is important for the kids (all kids, not just yours) to see dads involved, too. Plus, I think it's ok for us, as parents, to go a little out of our comfort zone every once in a while and do something new with our kids.
I do realize, though, that my husband gets more vacation time than many people. If you only get a week off, then of course you would want to spend that entire week with your whole family. But if you have extra vacation days, just know that the schools really appreciate dads helping out. Communities work best when as many people pitch in as possible.
I hated field trips. I mean I liked spending time with Chris and experiencing things with him, but if I went with then I would have to be around/responsible for/involved with other kids, and I think we all know by now how I feel about "other" kids. I went on some, but his dad went on a lot of them. He had the time and he didn't mind the other kids. <shrug> Chris was just fine with it.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Showing posts 67,061 - 67,080 of96,140
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Other Recent Bensenville Discussions

Search the Bensenville Forum:
Topic Updated Last By Comments
Messianic Jews say they are persecuted in Israel (Jun '08) 9 min Frijoles 65,136
Once slow-moving threat, global warming speeds ... (Dec '08) 18 min DonPanic 43,017
BARACK OBAMA BIRTH CERTIFICATE: Suit contesting... (Jan '09) 21 min Poppo 167,630
VOTE NO to the proposed tax. 35 min whowantstoknow 16
Run Zurek out of town (Apr '13) 41 min whowantstoknow 6
Zurek still costing taxpayers big $$$ (May '13) 43 min whowantstoknow 27
who is Ken Zurrik (Mar '12) 48 min whowantstoknow 249
•••
•••
•••
Bensenville Dating

more search filters

less search filters

•••

Bensenville Jobs

•••
•••
•••

Bensenville People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••