Asheville's transgender community speaks

Rikki S wrote:

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Then I would say that when you had your day in court for custody of your children and setting of child support, you stared the judge in the face and he believed your story. Yeah, right. That is why your ex has the kids and you are paying child support to her. Your situation is no different to your children than Kayla's is to hers. In both cases the kids have been fed a line of poo by their mothers and they are not either willing nor able to talk with their birth fathers.

Eboni T-girl wrote:

<quoted text>Are children also not hurt after a divorse?
Are children also not hurt after daddy and mommy make them leave their freinds by moving them 3,000 miles across america to relocate to another job?
Look we can go on and on. Children do not think and reason like adults. Just like the death of a loved one, time will heal all things.

Jessica B wrote:

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You saw what you WANTED to see Keith. You've made some good sense here previously, but on this one you've become rather fixated. I can understand how, with what you've said about you own children and situation. I've seen a good many situations involving transgendered people and their children, and in many cases actually know the people involved. I also know people personally who've been on the talk shows, and know how they were coached to act a certain way for the camera, for the sake of controversy. Unless you actually know all of the people involved, You do NOT know the whole story. How hard is THAT to understand?

Jessica B wrote:

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Keith, in simple, blunt terms: Sex is what's between your legs. Gender is what's between your ears.

AshevilleNative wrote:

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ROFL. A very simple way to express the distinction. Thanks, Jessica.

APP TRAIL NEWS wrote:

1981 AT killer linked to new shootings
After two fishermen were shot Tuesday at a Giles County campsite, police said they apprehended Randall Lee Smith in a pickup belonging to a victim.
By Shawna Morrison and Mike Gangloff
Photos by Matt Gentry | The Roanoke Times
Giles County investigators (from left) Mark Skidmore, Thomas Gautier and Lt. Ron Hamlin look over the scene Wednesday where two fishermen were shot the night before. The site, in the Dismal Creek area of the Jefferson National Forest, is near where Randall Lee Smith killed two hikers in 1981.
Shelia Miller (left) and her sister, Melissa Miller, aided the shooting victims who came to their home Tuesday evening in Giles County.
Mark Skidmore (left) and Thomas Gautier take fingerprints from a vehicle used by the shooting victims to escape from a gunman in the Jefferson National Forest. A suspect in the crime faces two counts of attempted capital murder.
Sean Farmer (left) was shot in the shoulder and face. Scott Johnston was shot in the neck and back. Friends said Farmer was released from the hospital. Johnston is in serious condition.
Map
See a map of the area
Related stories
Pearisburg man never shook reputation as AT killer
Hikers' killer going home - Sept. 26, 1996
Message board
Discuss the 1981 case and Tuesday's shooting
Timeline
May 19, 1981: Appalachian Trail hikers Susan Ramsay and Robert Mountford Jr., both 27-year-old social workers from Maine, were last seen at a Bland County store.
May 30-31, 1981: Ramsay’s and Mountford’s bodies were found buried near an AT shelter near the Giles-Bland county line. It was the first double homicide on the 2,100-mile Appalachian Trail.
June 11, 1981: Randall Lee Smith was charged in the killings after an incriminating note was found in his abandoned pickup truck in Myrtle Beach, S.C.
June 22, 1981: Smith was arrested after he was found hiding in a wooded area in Myrtle Beach .
March 23, 1982: Smith pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in both deaths and was sentenced to 30 years in prison.
Sept. 27, 1996: Smith was released from prison on mandatory parole.
Sept. 26, 2006: Smith was taken off of probation.
Tuesday: Authorities said they apprehended Smith after he crashed a pickup truck that belonged to one of two fishermen shot in the Dismal Creek area of Giles County.
GILES COUNTY -- A man who befriended, then killed, two hikers on the Appalachian Trail in Giles County 27 years ago may have returned to the same section of the trail and shot and wounded two fishermen Tuesday night.
Giles County investigators said Randall Lee Smith, 54, of Pearisburg, Va., is suspected in the shootings at the campsite off Lions Den Road near Dismal Creek, just more than two miles from Wapiti Shelter, where Smith committed an infamous double murder in May 1981.
Smith was captured Tuesday night after he wrecked a pickup truck that belongs to one of the fishermen, Giles County Sheriff Morgan Millirons said.

Keith retired Gun-bunny wrote:

<quoted text>That is your feelings. All people have their own type of feeling. As words mean different things to different people. What the hell has happened to common-sense?

AshevilleNative wrote:

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I don't disagree with you on that. Many people have never experienced unconditional love. So they believe that what they have experienced -- rejection, abuse, jealousy, sex, abandoment -- must be love.
Your wife probably felt that taking her/your children away from you was a very loving thing to do. You probably don't see it that way. But like you say, both the word and the feeling are different for different people.

Free wrote:

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I don't understand the need of the trans gendered community to circle the wagons around this man and blame all others for the decisions and actions of this person.

Free wrote:

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Dr.Phil didn't alienate his family, Dr.Phil didn't tell this man what to say and how to act on Tv. And Dr Phil wasn't advising him to make the decisions in the past years that led up to this mess.
So far I've seen the Dr.Phil show blamed and the daughters held accountable for their reactions while the excuses for this persons selfish and destructive decisions are numerous.

Free wrote:

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I question the desire to not show the effects on a family when a person decides to change his gender.

Keith retired Gun-bunny wrote:

<quoted text>She did it to dispite me. Not a loving thing to do. Sheesh..........

Keith retired Gun-bunny wrote:

<quoted text>This is about what I seen on the Dr. Phil Show concerning the situation of these certain children. Not about anyother children in anyother situation. Sheesh..........

Keith retired Gun-bunny wrote:

<quoted text>Jessica B, in simple, blunt terms: words have different meaning to different people. I got a small pecker and a pair of nuts between my legs. Sex is doing the nasty. I got a head between my ears.

Keith retired Gun-bunny wrote:

<quoted text>Uh......what has that got to do with this topic?

Free wrote:

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I don't understand the need of the trans gendered community to circle the wagons around this man and blame all others for the decisions and actions of this person.
Dr.Phil didn't alienate his family, Dr.Phil didn't tell this man what to say and how to act on Tv. And Dr Phil wasn't advising him to make the decisions in the past years that led up to this mess.
So far I've seen the Dr.Phil show blamed and the daughters held accountable for their reactions while the excuses for this persons selfish and destructive decisions are numerous.
I question the desire to not show the effects on a family when a person decides to change his gender. To blame the show and the host for the guests life is a bit of a stretch don't ya think.

Rikki S wrote:

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There were no doubt poor choices in how things were handled. There is no doubt a wall between everyone. What I can tell you is the bottom line in this is LACK of "COPING MECHANISMS". These children were handed lemons and chose to complain that they weren't given oranges. My family was given the same lemons and made delicious lemonade. In other words, the way everyone chose to handle this dictated the end result. Would it hurt these girls to sit down with Kayla and talk? NO, but they are unwilling to talk with "Kayla" because they want "Dad". Would it hurt these girls to open a book, look at some WEB sites and learn something about GID (Gender Identity Disorder), NO, but they don't want to. Kayla has offered to talk with them, they refused. I don't care if Kayla is their "Dad", now a transwoman, or was their "Dad" and divorced their mothers under messy conditions. These girls chose to set condtions on how they would talk with Kayla that Kayla is not willing to meet. Personally, I don't blame her for that. I have been in her shoes. The man my children grew grew up with is now a middle aged woman. Just like Kayla, I'm not going back. I tried for waaaaaaaay too long to deal with it and stay in male mode, but it became impossible. My kids still call me "Dad" or "Maddy" (Mommy + Daddy, a name I got from Jennifer Boylan), and that's okay with me. I reared them as their Dad and that part of my life still exists. It was NOT erased when I transitioned. I don't want it erased, either. It is part of who I am.
Until Kayla's girls are willing to open the line of communications with her, this situation will only get worse. The ball is in their court!

Eboni T-girl wrote:

<quoted text>You and i are in the medical feild. You are a RN, and i'm still in school studying. The reason i'm bringing this up, is becuase i wanted to know if you are a big fan of FFS. What are your feelings about this type of surgery for transwomen?

AshevilleNative wrote:

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That said, my opinion of the Dr. Phil show still stands. Its virtually no different from Jerry Springer, Geraldo Rivera and that ilk. Its all about sensationalism.

Rikki S wrote:

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Until Kayla's girls are willing to open the line of communications with her, this situation will only get worse. The ball is in their court!

Free wrote:

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I would never leave my relationship in the hands of my 12 yr old. I would make every effort to promote, heal and reconcile the relationship because I am the adult. But that's just me, apparently others are willing to blame a child for not finding a way to heal themselves of a parents betrayal. Good luck with that.

Keith retired Gun-bunny wrote:

<quoted text>Jessica B, in simple, blunt terms: words have different meaning to different people. I got a small pecker and a pair of nuts between my legs. Sex is doing the nasty. I got a head between my ears.