Prank Leaves 75 Gnomes Without Homes

What Garbage wrote:

It takes a remarkably long time for a Gnome to die, their average lifespan is exactly 400 years. However, there are a few cases of gnomes living past 400 years. One example is a couple in the Balkans living 550 years.
So this could be here a while.

Gnomes use seasons as years.
EXAMPLE: 400 gnome yrs = 100 ghuman yrs....(still old, by the dawn of the lawn)...

Proff Louie alternator wrote:

<quoted text>Gnomes use seasons as years.
EXAMPLE: 400 gnome yrs = 100 ghuman yrs....(still old, by the dawn of the lawn)...

The GOORGS captured one and the Doozers stole it and turned it into Doozer construction.

Life span is relative to risk.

5 months and gno gnome poems :(

There once was a gnome from Nantucket.
He left that old town
Upside down in a bucket.
When he was returned, as most gnomes often are,
He was ...

(sorry that's all I got)

Gnomes and gnomettes, never forget.
They remember it all, the big and the small
They take it all in, and maintain their grin.
They show no fear or remorse, they just stay the course.
That is why you and I, must always try
To treat them with care, and understand the burden they bare.
Because one day (perhaps the next 15th of May)
They will let it all out, not just with a quick shout
But in a gigantic fit of cursing and spit.


I know that was lame, but there is no shame, when it comes to short verse, bad puns, and goofy garden gnome games.

Please GNOME ORE

Sorry we're gnever gnoing away! Even if we come in intravals!

I'll try to add my part soon :D

Finally got one ...

Thundermug wrote:

There once was a gnome from Nantucket.
He left that old town
Upside down in a bucket.
When he was returned, as gnomes often are,
He was ...

pureed and poured into a jar.

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php...

This guy is a fruit, Gnomes don’t like to salute.
They particularly don’t like the fascist in the goofy brown suit.

We should put his arts in the place where he farts.

It's been a whole year, and the message is clear
That this thread is dead, it's over I fear.

To all who had fun posting thier puns,
and all who wrote poems about thier favorite gnomes.
I wish you all well and if you can't tell,
I had a great time with many bad rhymes,
and idle verse, some quite perverse.

I offer this toast to those who donated a post
"May you live a long happy life, and on you very last day may you laugh out loud."

YouHelpFixIt wrote:

It's been a whole year, and the message is clear
That this thread is dead, it's over I fear.
To all who had fun posting thier puns,
and all who wrote poems about thier favorite gnomes.
I wish you all well and if you can't tell,
I had a great time with many bad rhymes,
and idle verse, some quite perverse.
I offer this toast to those who donated a post
"May you live a long happy life, and on you very last day may you laugh out loud."

This gnome thread could never die.
Whether its you or I.
Whether its been days, weeks, or even months.
Someone is always back to write about these little runts.
I hope it won't take so long.
Or else I'll wait while I play my beer pong.
For someone to come.
And continue this endless gnome fun.
Until then...
Fairwell my friend...

Flawless wrote:

<quoted text>
This gnome thread could never die.
Whether its you or I.
Whether its been days, weeks, or even months.
Someone is always back to write about these little runts.
I hope it won't take so long.
Or else I'll wait while I play my beer pong.
For someone to come.
And continue this endless gnome fun.
Until then...
Fairwell my friend...

Someone in gnomeland security dropped the ball on this one!

There once was a gnome in my front yard,
That I never thought I needed to guard.
One morning with coffee just freshly pored,
And wanting my paper I went to the door.
I opened the door and what did I see?
Lo and behold my yard was gnome free!
I don't know where he's chosen to roam,
Or when he might be expected back home.
Hope he's back tonight long before dawn,
'Cause the wife wants pink flamingos on the lawn!

There once was a Gnome toon in WoW,
That took on a Tauren and now,
The Tauren is dead,
'Cause he bashed in its head
And ate it because it's a cow.

(You probably have to play World of Warcraft to get this one)

TrilbyKat wrote:

There once was a Gnome toon in WoW,
That took on a Tauren and now,
The Tauren is dead,
'Cause he bashed in its head
And ate it because it's a cow.

(You probably have to play World of Warcraft to get this one)

Welcome back TrilbyKat :)

I love this review from Amazon's Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator (http://www.amazon.com/Datastroyer-Model-1000-... )

A Wonderful Community Amenity December 31, 2011

By Karen A. Griffin

You just never think it could happen to you, then one day we realized the entire backyard was infested with gnomes. We tried everything to get rid of them: Gnome-Be-Gnot pellets, Gnighty Gnight Gnome spray and Gnome Gneutralise traps. Nothing worked, they kept coming back.

The stress was too much and at a community baking sale I just cracked and blurted out to the neighbors about our gnome problem. Everyone started talking and it soon became clear that the gnomes had been invading almost every backyard. It was a real problem.

We were all so relieved to find the Datastroyer Model 1000 Disintegrator. The paltry cost of $127,769.27 was covered by our homeowners association fees and immediately a pavilion was constructed to accommodate our soon to arrive 14,000 pound Model 1000. As a previous reviewer stated, the free shipping was a real bonus.

Life has been idyllic since the Datastroyer disintegrator arrived. The high volume central destruction promised by the company is fulfilled in every way. The gnomes are gno more. And when we see the little buggers creeping up again, we just fire up the old Model 1000 and poof another gnome invader is turned to dust.

I highly recommend this product. It solved our problem and I am sure it will solve yours.