Adoption agencies hit tough times too

With any luck, Valerie Adriense and her husband will have a third addition to their family, an adopted daughter from Nepal. Full Story
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ShameonYou

Plainwell, MI

#1 Jan 15, 2009
It's a shame to read that there are couples willing to PAY this type of money for an adoption from outside this country!!!! There are so many loving children around here that need good homes a people to show them they are worth more then money. SHAME ON THESE PEOPLE!!!!
MYOB

Holland, MI

#2 Jan 15, 2009
Dear Shameonyou-
Please do not even open up this debate. There is no right or wrong answer. It is up to each family to do what is right for them.

Have you adopted any of the children in this country who need a home? Have you talked to people who have gone through two-three-four birth mothers to have no had a successful outcome?

Proud parent to a beautiful little girl through adoption from Russia. She's worth every penny and then some.

Since: Oct 08

Dearborn Heights, MI

#3 Jan 15, 2009
MYOB wrote:
Dear Shameonyou-
Please do not even open up this debate. There is no right or wrong answer. It is up to each family to do what is right for them.
Have you adopted any of the children in this country who need a home? Have you talked to people who have gone through two-three-four birth mothers to have no had a successful outcome?
Proud parent to a beautiful little girl through adoption from Russia. She's worth every penny and then some.
I personally have no issue with adopting parents, no matter where they adopt from ... my issue is with the companies that are profiting by the adoption process ... to me, nothing more than selling children for money and profit ... if you could take the flesh peddlers out of the formula and put prospective parents in touch with the agencies in the country of their choice , whichever country it is, would make it more palatable for me ... and less expensive for the adopting parents ..
YOU-know-it

Ann Arbor, MI

#4 Jan 15, 2009
Definitely surprised me how much it costs to adopt. That's insane!
DogGone

Madison, WI

#5 Jan 15, 2009
Now, pray tell, why is it that there seems to be so little care/attention/topixlove given when this sad situation comes to light, yet if a dog rescue had a pup or 2 that was unloved the masses would revolt?

Want to make a difference in your life in this world? Care for a Human life a little more then you do for your animal.
DogGone

Madison, WI

#6 Jan 15, 2009
Unless, of course, you pet is your "baby". If you have ever refered to your dog/cat/rabbit as such...then your too far gone to reach with common sense.
No Idea

Grand Rapids, MI

#7 Jan 15, 2009
Shame on you,
Are you aware that in this country (US) that
1.) It cost's sometimes up to THREE times as much to adopt domestically (that means here if you did not know)
2.) That birth parents have up to a year to change their mind, and get the child back.
3.) Are you aware of the wait in the United States can be 3-6 years or more??
I agree with MYOB. Unless you yourself have adopted here, who are you to talk, judge, or comment??
Proud woman who cannot conceive and has EVERY intention on a foreign adoption!

Since: Oct 08

United States

#8 Jan 15, 2009
I wish that the cost of adopting was lower, but to a couple yearning for a child; many would pay any amount.

Since: Oct 08

United States

#9 Jan 15, 2009
ShameonYou wrote:
It's a shame to read that there are couples willing to PAY this type of money for an adoption from outside this country!!!! There are so many loving children around here that need good homes a people to show them they are worth more then money. SHAME ON THESE PEOPLE!!!!
Domestic adoption can be a legal nightmare. I personally know of a few cases where the parents who adopted domestically(sp) ended up having the state giving custody back to the Birth mother months after the adoption. I agree that there are many children in the foster system awaiting adoption, but sadly there are so many hoops to try and pass thru w/ domestic adoption, that paying a higher price with a guarantee is the better option for some parents.

Since: Oct 08

United States

#10 Jan 15, 2009
DogGone wrote:
Unless, of course, you pet is your "baby". If you have ever refered to your dog/cat/rabbit as such...then your too far gone to reach with common sense.
I'm sorry, but who are you talking to DogGone?

Since: Oct 08

United States

#11 Jan 15, 2009
No Idea wrote:
Shame on you,
Are you aware that in this country (US) that
1.) It cost's sometimes up to THREE times as much to adopt domestically (that means here if you did not know)
2.) That birth parents have up to a year to change their mind, and get the child back.
3.) Are you aware of the wait in the United States can be 3-6 years or more??
I agree with MYOB. Unless you yourself have adopted here, who are you to talk, judge, or comment??
Proud woman who cannot conceive and has EVERY intention on a foreign adoption!
You will be in my thoughts & prayers, because I too, understand the frustrations involved in fertility. I hope that when you decide to adopt, your adoption process goes smooth and ends with a beaming bright eyed child to call your own. Best of luck
Adoption Worker

Holland, MI

#12 Jan 15, 2009
It is unfortunate that an agency is facing such tough times. Please understand that the fees that families pay for an International adoption cover various aspects. Do you know what it costs to send one package overseas to say, China? Keep in mind everything has to translated into the native language! Also regarding Domestic Adoption, it does NOT cost a family anything to adopt a child from the foster care system. There are thousands of children waiting for their forever family right here in Michigan...check out MARE.org . You will see! Non-profit agencies do NOT profit from adoptions, ask any social worker, they don't get paid nearly what other professionals do for the amount of work and challenges they face daily! I am there...I know!
Regardless of where you adopt, you are helping a child in need, it shouldn't matter!
Adoptive Mother

Grand Rapids, MI

#13 Jan 15, 2009
MYOB wrote:
Dear Shameonyou-
Please do not even open up this debate. There is no right or wrong answer. It is up to each family to do what is right for them.
Have you adopted any of the children in this country who need a home? Have you talked to people who have gone through two-three-four birth mothers to have no had a successful outcome?
Proud parent to a beautiful little girl through adoption from Russia. She's worth every penny and then some.
As a fellow mother of an internationally adopted child - I agree with all that you have said MYOB. There are many reasons why a couple/individual chooses to adopt a child, quite a few of them are painful reasons. One thing an adoptive parent does not need is someone judging them and their reasons on how/why they decided to adopt.

While adoption is expensive, we are fortunate in the West Michigan area to have non-profit organizations to assist with the adoption process and give financial advice on where you can go for help. Adoption, like pregnancy, is never a sure thing, and has many unexpected hurdles to cross - finances, rule changes in the country, etc.

In the end, the joy in your heart when you receive your child in your arms for the first time is worth any amount of money.

With the current economic times, it is very hard to think of how an adoption will be financed, but I encourage anyone who is thinking of adopting to go onto different adoption agency websites where they will provide you links for information on this.

The whole adoption process is daunting - but you will get through it!
DogGone

Madison, WI

#14 Jan 15, 2009
Mickell wrote:
<quoted text> I'm sorry, but who are you talking to DogGone?
Quite simply this my fellow topix poster Mickell:

There are those who would so quickly come to the rescue of a "dog/cat/or animal of any kind" and wail for their rescue from a shelter or pound.

Topic is: Adoption Agencies hit hard!

Yet when it's about an actual human, the response is "ehh,,,sorry can't help".

O'K to pay for vet bills, food, training, rawhide, catnip on so on,,,, but not so much when it comes to a human child. Sad.
Adopting

Grand Rapids, MI

#15 Jan 15, 2009
My husband and I are in the process of an international adoption and we are using this agency.

You can not imagine the heartache that the families using this agency are feeling right now. Many of us are close to bringing our children home.

For those like "ShameonYou" you have no right to judge any of us. Did you even take 5 minutes of time to really think about the comments you made? I doubt it.

These families have weighed all the options between domestic/international/fosteri ng and have decided on what is right for them. With each type of adoption there are pros and cons. There is no easy way to adopt.

Please remember...unless you walk a mile in my shoes, you have no right to critize me.

Peace and prayers to all those going through an adoption of any kind.
Jack

United States

#16 Jan 15, 2009
It was quite grim in that meeting in Jenison last night. When the Director announced that every family waiting to adopt would need to come up with $1,000 by February 1st (less than two weeks) or be taken off the waiting list, you could hear a pin drop in the room.

I looked out across the room and saw many heads bowed in despair, and I saw tears, and I saw anger. But I also sensed that a majority of those in attendance felt that the truth was being laid out before them. A hard economic truth.

Anyone reading this story, and anyone reading these comments...please, if you know a young girl or woman who is pregnant and considering an abortion, please please please tell them that there are many loving families who would give anything to have the chance to provide a safe and happy home for their child. Let that child have the opportunity to live. To experience sunny days. To watch leaves fall in the autumn. To walk into school for the exciting first day of kindergarten. To love and be loved. Everyone deserves that chance. Everyone.

Please spread that message. It's the honest truth.
Sue

Midland, MI

#17 Jan 15, 2009
Adopting wrote:
My husband and I are in the process of an international adoption and we are using this agency.
You can not imagine the heartache that the families using this agency are feeling right now. Many of us are close to bringing our children home.
For those like "ShameonYou" you have no right to judge any of us. Did you even take 5 minutes of time to really think about the comments you made? I doubt it.
These families have weighed all the options between domestic/international/fosteri ng and have decided on what is right for them. With each type of adoption there are pros and cons. There is no easy way to adopt.
Please remember...unless you walk a mile in my shoes, you have no right to critize me.
Peace and prayers to all those going through an adoption of any kind.
good luck to you and your husband on the adoption of your child. I hope it works out for you and all the other hopeful parents.
LawMichigander

Hudsonville, MI

#18 Jan 15, 2009
Ok there are children right here in Michigan in foster care up for adoption for are free. But white Michiganders don't want to adopt a black baby or a poor white american child, no they would prefer spending $25 for an overseas asian baby. Interesting. 25$k for fees my arse. That is a criminal trade based on vile overt racism.
LawMichigander

Hudsonville, MI

#19 Jan 15, 2009
Don't you dare bring abortion into this. How dare you vile person use your racism to support what you mention. The lord wonders why you cast your eyes over a innocent child right here to spend so much to adopt overseas, the Lord is not fooled Sir. If it is obvious to us then it is known to him. The foster care system in Michigan is the 2nd worst rated in that nation with children dying in foster care like Ricky Holland was, that was not his mother that killed him you know but a vile person. The Lord would have you suffer no child rather than cast over one in the community. You have no idea what is like to be one of those children for but even a week. You feel totally valueless and worth dirt and people make sure you know it. I still bare the scares from those vile two faced foster workers and fake right wing christian foster parents.
had to speek up

Grand Rapids, MI

#20 Jan 15, 2009
LawMichigander wrote:
Ok there are children right here in Michigan in foster care up for adoption for are free. But white Michiganders don't want to adopt a black baby or a poor white american child, no they would prefer spending $25 for an overseas asian baby. Interesting. 25$k for fees my ****. That is a criminal trade based on vile overt racism.
I shouldn't even respond to this comment, but I just need to tell you. We're adopting from Ethiopia. We currently have other small kids and would have loved to adopt domestically. We were informed that most likely an adoptive mother wouldn't choose us as we already have had three biological kids of our own. We were also informed about foster to adopt... something that we would have certainly done had we not had small children already who would have a hard time understanding the process of Foster care. It was unfair of us to put them through having and possibly loosing a foster brother or sister - they wouldn't have been able to handle it.
As a white family living in West Michigan, we will most certainly become a conspicuous family when traveling around the mall with a black boy in tow. So please don't bring racism into this at all. Our boy will deal with racism of his own as he will be African not African-American, and will most likely receive grief from both blacks and whites.
You grossly oversimplified this matter and stereotyped thousands of families across America. You can't possibly begin to know all of the reasons and motivations for one's choice to adopt and the thoughts that go into how that choice is made.

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