Amy 7-11

itser wrote:

"We took a premarital course, and all the cards were laid on the table. If I had known she was like this, I would never have married her."
So...exactly what cards were on the table? Apparently, only yours.
She should not have married someone with children if she was not willing to embrace them. However, a PARENT should not marry someone who has not already embraced his/her children. She was wrong, but so were you. Lay your cards on the table again. Family counseling or you are leaving, and have a definite plan, which you need to act on if she won't work with you.

i was going to say taht apparently not ALL of hte cards were laid out.. all of yours,perhaps.

althoguh, if she won't even mention the kids' names, i think that she's beyond counseling being of any use to repair things.

Aisle Sitter wrote:

<quoted text>
i was going to say taht apparently not ALL of hte cards were laid out.. all of yours,perhaps.
althoguh, if she won't even mention the kids' names, i think that she's beyond counseling being of any use to repair things.

Yeah, you're right. I would probably give it one more shot though, just to know that I did everything I could to make it work before pulling the plug.

I used to work with a guy whose wife was absolutely horrid to his "other" kids. I thought "What is wrong with him, that he would marry her? She is just evil in treating them so badly". Then I saw home videos from when they were dating. She was so fake when fawning over the kids and telling them how much she loved them, etc. He was a very young single dad with no family around, and not much money, so I'm guessing he was desperate and let himself believe her because marrying her gave him someone to watch the kids while he was at work. I guess she didn't get really ugly and abusive until after she had "her own" baby, and she wanted them gone but there was nowhere for them to go. They eventually divorced, but she had already done so much damage and I don't think his oldest will ever recover from the emotional damage.

In general, I think too many people rush into marriage. This is much much more true when there are kids involved.

itser wrote:

In general, I think too many people rush into marriage. This is much much more true when there are kids involved.

I agree.

liner wrote:

L1&L2: It's either phony-letter day, or, can people REALLY be this stupid?

There are people who can be and are amazingly stupid.

"it's better to stand alone for the right reasons than to stand together for the wrong reasons"...

- Some Kind of Wonderful

LW2: Congratulations! You have vaulted into a permanent position on Lamy's Top 10 All-Time Stoopid List.

Aisle Sitter wrote:

"it's better to stand alone for the right reasons than to stand together for the wrong reasons"...
- Some Kind of Wonderful

I had to google to know that's a movie. Care to share more about this movie that a quote stuck with you?

1: Shoot-I didn't have a second date with a dude who drank an entire bottle on date one. Just not a road I am prepared to travel.

2: Evely yoked is Biblical--marrying your kind, like I am a Christian so I won't marry a Catholic thing.
Anywho, he ignored signs, and allowed the house in her name--so he can leave her the mortgage.

squishymama wrote:

LW2: I think I'd be a b!tch too if my husband described our relationship as "evenly yoked." I am not an ox.

It's actually a pretty analogy. If two oxen are yoked evenly they are much more productive, they walk together, and they don't waste as much time.
Uneven yokes have one trying to pull another or one dragging one down.
Surely, this could be applied to a healthy marriage? You don't have to be religious to appreciate a nice analogy, eh?

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
I had to google to know that's a movie. Care to share more about this movie that a quote stuck with you?

late 80s, classic story of the kid from teh wrong side of the tracks has a crush on a girl from the right side, but she really doesn't have all htat going on. mean while his BFF (who happens to be a girl) is crushing on him, and is crushed by what he's trying to do to win the girl.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094006/

slightly more substantive 80s brat pack showing...

cheluzal wrote:

2: Evely yoked is Biblical--marrying your kind, like I am a Christian so I won't marry a Catholic thing.
.

Did I miss a memo? Last I checked, Catholics ARE christian.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>Did I miss a memo? Last I checked, Catholics ARE christian.

Yeah. the memos ( all 95 of them) were nailed to the church door , oh, about 500 years ago.

(just in case there is any question, I am being sarcastic. Historical, but sarcastic)

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>Did I miss a memo? Last I checked, Catholics ARE christian.

Heck, the Catholic Church claims to be the first Christian church under Jesus Christ.

cheluzal wrote:

<quoted text>
It's actually a pretty analogy. If two oxen are yoked evenly they are much more productive, they walk together, and they don't waste as much time.
Uneven yokes have one trying to pull another or one dragging one down.
Surely, this could be applied to a healthy marriage? You don't have to be religious to appreciate a nice analogy, eh?

That is a perfectly nice analogy to use when referring to a marriage.

But it loses something when it becomes the code word for "being of the same born again/fundamentalist group that I come from." Then I just start thinking of smelly oxen.

When I was a kid being forced to attend Baptist churches, one of the messages I found difficult to swallow was that Catholics were going to hell.

A lot of "Christians" probably don't see Catholics as real Christians.

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

<quoted text>
Heck, the Catholic Church claims to be the first Christian church under Jesus Christ.

From what I know of Born Agains -- they believe no one else is Christian. They can believe what they want, I suppose. They seem to be the most vocal against other religions.

I think it's sad that the Born Agains, who through their "Real Christian" beliefs have such negative and disrespectful things to say about others. I don't think that's very Christ-like.

cycle003 wrote:

When I was a kid being forced to attend Baptist churches, one of the messages I found difficult to swallow was that Catholics were going to hell.
A lot of "Christians" probably don't see Catholics as real Christians.

Guess i don't keep up with my church news. Ain't been in years.

So what is the thinking behind that? Isn't the main criteria for being a christian the belief that Jesus is Lord and savior and the son of God?

Where do Mormons and Jehovah's witnesses fall in the pecking order? They believe too. They consider themselves Christians. Do Baptists balk at that to? What is it that sets Catholics apart from a Baptist perspective?

cycle003 wrote:

When I was a kid being forced to attend Baptist churches, one of the messages I found difficult to swallow was that Catholics were going to hell.
A lot of "Christians" probably don't see Catholics as real Christians.

A lot of Christians also don't think LDSers or JWs are Christian. But they are. They're worshipping Jesus Christ as their savior. THat's about all it takes.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>Guess i don't keep up with my church news. Ain't been in years.
So what is the thinking behind that? Isn't the main criteria for being a christian the belief that Jesus is Lord and savior and the son of God?
Where do Mormons and Jehovah's witnesses fall in the pecking order? They believe too. They consider themselves Christians. Do Baptists balk at that to? What is it that sets Catholics apart from a Baptist perspective?

I should have read this before posting! Not just Baptists -- it's a mutual feeling across many Christian sects.

I should have typed/said that better.

Some Catholics believe that only Catholics are Christian. Some LUtherans believe that Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, and Baptists are all Christian, but JWs and LDSers are not. LDSers typically do not believe that Catholics are Christian. It's a very mixed bag.