Ask Amy 11-11-09

loose cannon wrote:

That is very interesting, Bee. I was unaware about that new trend. But then again, I'm in the dark ages about a lot of things, as I'm sure Tonka will atest.
The point I was making is that the Quinceanera is steeped in tradition that dates back nearly 3,ooo years to the Maya. The Bat Mitzvah probably also has ancient roots.
Sweet Sixteen sounds to me like another holiday invented by Hallmark. Maybe Henry Ford even. Much like Sweetest Day in a sense that it is not mandatory.
But hey, whatever floats your boat.

loose cannon wrote:

The Bat Mitzvah probably also has ancient roots.

Pippa wrote:

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Sorry, you're wrong. If a parent feels that certain aspects of their child's care is important, they need to be followed. This is really one of those times when the only response the grandparent can make is "yes, I'll follow your rules for caring for your child" or just say they can't babysit. That's it. Yes, by all means, discuss the rules and the reasons for any you either don't understand or disagree with. If after careful thought, you feel the rules are too onerous, then decline to babysit. It's as simple as that. The parents will then have to find someone else to baby sit for free or pay a babysitter who will follow those rules or they'll have to stay home.
I babysit for my grandkids and as far as I'm concerned, any rules their parents have are for the children's welfare. My daughter does tell her kids that when I'm watching them, it's "Grammie's rules." But I still try to keep to their usual rules and schedules that they would normally have.
Of course we don't know what the other rules are, but the one about alcohol is important. If a person can't give up alcohol for a week, that person has a problem. It's not at all unusual to have to give up things we like for some important reason - often health related. We may grumble a bit, but most of us follow doctor's orders. The fact that this lw is concerned about giving up her evening wine tells me that her daughter knows her very well and was right to put the no-alcohol item on her list. She's seen how her parents are when they've had a drink or two or three and she doesn't want them in that condition while caring for her child.

Pixx wrote:

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Most babysitters are given instructions before the parents leave; grandparents are no different. The fact that they are family should make them even more understanding and interested in the child's welfare and helping their kids give the child a stable home with a stable set of rules.

Ndugu wrote:

L1) This ain't about whether or not she "can" give up a glass of wine with dinner, it's about whether or not she should have to. She is doing he daughter a big favor for taking the grandkid for consecutive nights. No small task. If the daughter doesn't think her mom is responsible enough to handle a glass of wine, then how is she responsible enough to watch the kid? I would not trust my kid to anyone for whom I felt I had to dictate a bunch of rules. Either you trust your mom or you don't. It's not like you're leaving the kid with Lisa from down the block and you have to make sure she doesn't have her boyfriend over. If I am asking someone for a favor this significant, I am not making any zero tolerance rules for them. Either I trust them or I don't.

loose cannon wrote:

That is very interesting, Bee. I was unaware about that new trend. But then again, I'm in the dark ages about a lot of things, as I'm sure Tonka will atest.
The point I was making is that the Quinceanera is steeped in tradition that dates back nearly 3,ooo years to the Maya. The Bat Mitzvah probably also has ancient roots.
Sweet Sixteen sounds to me like another holiday invented by Hallmark. Maybe Henry Ford even. Much like Sweetest Day in a sense that it is not mandatory.
But hey, whatever floats your boat.

TamoraRose wrote:

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!!!
Ya think?

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Aisle Sitter wrote:

On the flipside, there are things involved in watching kids taht GPs should be left alone to deal with on their own, things that experience has taught them 20-30 years before that don't evaporate.

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I Like Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> I'm pretty sure booze was around 20-30 years ago. 40-50 even.

Terri at home wrote:

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Yes, but I bet the medications they are currently taking weren't.

I Like Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> I'm pretty sure booze was around 20-30 years ago. 40-50 even.

Pixx wrote:

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I remember when my little sister came home and said to my mom, "You can't spank me any more because Ms. O'Neill [the guidance counselor] said it's child abuse. If you spank me, I can call the police and you'll go to jail!"

Aisle Sitter wrote:

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Yeah, perhaps even more so. I was raised in a house where my dad had a cocktail many evenings when he got home and both parents had wine with almost every dinner. Heck, i saw an ice freezer at the store and shouted something about ice, daddy and whiskey at the ripe old age of 3 or so. I turned out basically ok, not lush, not a complete prohibitionist.
But, my main thought earlier about things not evaporating is that parents learn little tricks to calm a squalling kid with their kid that they use on the next generation and that is the stuff that transcends time... I've seen my dad do that with the nephew already, and i'm sure we'll see even more torture, um, i mean tricks, thrust upon the next generation. We're about to start the betting pool on when (a) my brother is going to turn into our father and (b) when we start remembering dad doing the same thing to us...

Andie J wrote:

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That reminds me of a time my nephew & I were arguing. He called me a f'ing bitch & used a whole host of colorful language. I realized my arm was cocked back & I was ready to clobber him one. He said "Go ahead, hit me. I'll call DCFS." I said "Go ahead. You're not my kid."

I Like Tonka wrote:

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So what was the argument about?

Andie J wrote:

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I told him to get his smelly socks off of the coffee table. He has major anger issues. His mother told him to mow the lawn. Since he didn't want to, he got mad & threw the lawn mower across the yard.

I Like Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> Damn! How old as he at the time?