Dear Abby 7-5-12

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>I don't think faded is a good enough reason to replace clothes.

They start to look "worn". Not very professional.

cycle003 wrote:

<quoted text>
My wife's sister is always complaining about how things aren't fair for her. She has only a HS diploma, was/is a SAHM forever, and now works a part time job making nearly $20/hr. She thinks it's unfair that they hired a new person making almost as much as her. She also complains about her salary, even though she also gets health insurance and paid vacation, which is not that common for part-time work. My wife got mad because her sister then went on to say how she wouldn't understand because "they" just give my wife everything just because she has a PhD. My wife just told her that she didn't know what she was talking about and dropped it.
This woman also disparages entitlement programs, even though her children were getting gov't healthcare for years. Her response is "that's different". God forbid someone has something she didn't get.

Heh - I am sure your wife just decided she wanted a PhD and walked up to the college and they just handed her one for nothing, right? That's what drives me nuts. She EARNED it. No one is giving her anything. There are some people that see the "end resukt" and won't/can't acknowledge that years of work and stress are behind it.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> This bothers me a bit. On the one hand, I get wanting to have your employees dress a certain way and present an image, but at the same time, I have a problem with compelling an employee to spend their money, raise or not, to buy new clothes for work cause you don't like what she's wearing.

This LW owns a boutique. Many stores allow their employees to buy the store's own brand/stock at a discount. Every time I shop at the Gap, I see employees wearing something from the store's current stock. I've seen the same at New York & Co., Ann Taylor, Talbots, and Lane Bryant (so, there is a range of prices and styles). The LW could reasonably offer to her employee some of the clothes her boutique carries at a reasonable price to serve as sort of a "uniform" that the woman wears on the job.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>I don't think faded is a good enough reason to replace clothes.

if it's evenly faded, no, but i've had some shirts or pants fade at the joints... no way to make that look like it was intended...

i've had soem tops shrink proportionately all the way around... and maybe i've grown a bit, too. they're still in ok shape, just not fitting me right any more, so they're in teh donate bin. they're basics, so a 15 YO top still looks as stylish (or not) as it was when i got it.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>I don't think faded is a good enough reason to replace clothes.

Downgrade them from work clothes to weekend/bum around the house/work in the yard clothes then.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> This bothers me a bit. On the one hand, I get wanting to have your employees dress a certain way and present an image, but at the same time, I have a problem with compelling an employee to spend their money, raise or not, to buy new clothes for work cause you don't like what she's wearing.

We have to buy clothes for work anyway. I don't have much overlap -- I have clothes for work, and clothes for everything else. Work clothes do cover funerals.

Stina wrote:

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They start to look "worn". Not very professional.

I wear Dockers to work. The black ones don't stay a deep dark black forever. They start fading. I don't consider getting rid of them until they start fraying or getting holes.

Stina wrote:

<quoted text>
Heh - I am sure your wife just decided she wanted a PhD and walked up to the college and they just handed her one for nothing, right? That's what drives me nuts. She EARNED it. No one is giving her anything. There are some people that see the "end resukt" and won't/can't acknowledge that years of work and stress are behind it.

Exactly. My wife also made a lot of sacrifices to get her degrees. She left the workforce to get degrees (more than once). After getting her PhD, she was making about the same as she was years before that. I'm not even sure if it's paid off considering the years she had to do without a decent salary while attending school. It's the same for me. I think I would be better off financially at this point in my life if I didn't go to grad school, although I think it will eventually pay off in terms of the numbers. Of course I want more money, but I went to grad school to improve the quality of my employment.

And the degree is just a starting point for getting a good or good-paying job. She still has to perform and do the tasks that are expected. These tasks are to solve problems that her sister would have no clue as to how to even start looking for solutions. Yet, to hear her talk, all you need is that piece of paper and everything's handed to you.

There's no serious dress code here, so I usually just wear jeans and polo-type shirt. Sometimes I wear t-shirts, and sometimes I "have" to wear a suit if I have a big presentation or something like that.

Speaking of dress codes, though, I just saw one scientist wearing a skirt and flip-flops (oh, and he's a dude). I want to ask him if he lost a bet, but I don't know him well enough to joke. BTW, this is not a kilt. It might even be leopard print. At least there aren't many people here today.

You know Cycle, if you are passionate about what you do, you will never work a day in your life.
I would do it all over again for free if it were possible.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text>I wear Dockers to work. The black ones don't stay a deep dark black forever. They start fading. I don't consider getting rid of them until they start fraying or getting holes.

The ones I am talking about are just fading around the seams and nowhere else (and they are dress pants), so it's not an "all around fade" which is less noticible. And I hate buying clothes!

I think that statement is a load of crap. You have just completely validated their failing, and are blaming everyone else but them for that failure.

cycle003 wrote:

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I think a lot of times it's not that people don't want to see others around them succeed, but it's that they don't believe in the path to success because they haven't seen it work.

Stina wrote:

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The ones I am talking about are just fading around the seams and nowhere else (and they are dress pants), so it's not an "all around fade" which is less noticible. And I hate buying clothes!

A woman that hates buying clothes?? Thats amazing! I am pretty much the same way. I tend not to buy clothes until I cant' get away with it anymore (however I NEVER dress unprofessionaly at work-sure my shirt may not always be perfectly ironed but still) then I tend to do things in batches and will go out and buy slacks and shirts two or three at a time for a couple months until I am back to where I need to be. I am getting close to doing that again. My washing machine just ate one of my favorite shirts last week and another shirt before that. Not a very good washing machine.

Rash wrote:

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A woman that hates buying clothes?? Thats amazing! I am pretty much the same way. I tend not to buy clothes until I cant' get away with it anymore (however I NEVER dress unprofessionaly at work-sure my shirt may not always be perfectly ironed but still) then I tend to do things in batches and will go out and buy slacks and shirts two or three at a time for a couple months until I am back to where I need to be. I am getting close to doing that again. My washing machine just ate one of my favorite shirts last week and another shirt before that. Not a very good washing machine.

I hate ironing, so sometimes I just throw it in the dryer and hope for the best!:D Today, since the desk is pretty much empty this week, I wore capris, sandals and a polo shirt - very casual for a "non-Friday", but oh well!

Stina wrote:

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I hate ironing, so sometimes I just throw it in the dryer and hope for the best!:D Today, since the desk is pretty much empty this week, I wore capris, sandals and a polo shirt - very casual for a "non-Friday", but oh well!

Me too! I buy the wrinkle/iron free dress shirts. Good enough!:)

Stina wrote:

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I hate ironing, so sometimes I just throw it in the dryer and hope for the best!:D Today, since the desk is pretty much empty this week, I wore capris, sandals and a polo shirt - very casual for a "non-Friday", but oh well!

If I have to get out my iron more than once a year, I'd be surprised. Up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea where it was (still packed in a box that I discovered while looking for something else).

But I live by a rule that a very well-dressed co-worker uses; if the item of clothing is going to get wrinkled when you sit down, then why bother ironing it.

So far, it's worked very well. But I do work with people who've been in the same job for decades and don't really bother with being well-dressed, or even clean in some cases.

PEllen wrote:

<quoted text>Gypsy.
You gotta have a gimmick.
(Don't mind me, I should be working anyway)

Ha! I just watched that the other day. One of my all time favs.

RACE wrote:

I think that statement is a load of crap. You have just completely validated their failing, and are blaming everyone else but them for that failure.
<quoted text>

I'm not validating anything. I'm just conveying the attitude that I've witnessed. People who haven't seen education pay off for anyone in their immediate circle of friends and family often don't see it as a means to success and a different life. If they don't see it as a valuable use of time with a payoff, they will be inclined to think it's a waste of time.

I was laughed at by a lot of my friends for studying calculus, and those people are probably still working minimum wage jobs living in a trailer. They didn't see any use for it, so it's hard to translate studying it as relating to success. It's not that they didn't want me to succeed.

Stina wrote:

<quoted text>
I hate ironing, so sometimes I just throw it in the dryer and hope for the best!:D Today, since the desk is pretty much empty this week, I wore capris, sandals and a polo shirt - very casual for a "non-Friday", but oh well!

Ironing is like dusting: It's a mortal sin and you'll go to hell for doing it. I protect my soul by doing neither. I gave up the iron and ironing board in my divorce 12 years ago and never looked back.

I can't iron. My mom tried to teach me when I was a teenager and I sucked at it and never tried again.