Abby 8-21

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to respond to "Where the Boys Aren't" (May 26). We're right here every day, lady, working in the same building, going to the same functions, eating at the same diners and attending the same churches. But we don't measure up to the standards you have set.

You can find us after work at sports bars with friends having a beer, early morning weekends on the lake or stream fishing, kicking back watching a game on TV or working on a hot rod or motorcycle like the one we had -- or wanted -- in high school. We are not on a cruise, at the mall, upscale bar or wine tasting. In short, we're not doing what you like to do. Think about the guy you were married to who had to be dragged or nagged to the outings you enjoy.

You want to find a guy in your age range? That's easy. Step back, be honest and really look at yourself. How do you act, dress, talk? Would you date you? Do you measure up to the standards you have set for the right guy? If there's something you would change, then change it. Take the time to see who he is, what he enjoys and remember, he's not going to change, and if he did, he wouldn't be what you wanted anyway.-- CONTENT, SECURE, SINGLE 58-YEAR-OLD MAN

DEAR SINGLE MAN: Thank you for taking the time to write. Apparently, these ladies need to find new hunting grounds. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at "Where the Boys Aren't." Most guys would pay handsomely for the addresses of the clubs where women go to meet men. What is "Where" doing that prevents her from meeting all the men she wants? My guess is she doesn't walk up and introduce herself. She doesn't grasp that dating rules get reversed at some point. She's hoping to be swept off her feet like a schoolgirl.

My advice to older women is to stop hanging out in escape literature and move over to the magazine rack. After a certain age, even sex won't sell itself like it used to. Drive your own car and, if you plan to stay after the introductions, buy your own drinks. Arrive in pairs only with an agreement to split up if opportunity knocks. And remember, going to expensive bars will only net you a higher class of bum.

"Where" has repeatedly failed Dating 101. There's hardly a middle-aged guy in America who would turn down a woman who offered him a pizza, a cold beer and a quiet Friday night at home. I'd even help with the dishes. But everything about her spells hidden agenda!-- NAMELESS IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: We're all at the gym burning off that 40-year-old fat.-- LAWRENCE IN MAINE

DEAR ABBY: I can speak only for myself. Yes, I am at home watching bad cable TV -- not because I want to, but because some of us choose to be here for our elderly parents. We're not out and about except to take our mothers on errands, our dads for haircuts and both for medical appointments, on top of managing their finances and looking after their home.

Guess what? Society looks down on us because we have put their needs ahead of ours. We might not be at the typical social events, but we're out there. The next time you see a middle-aged man with a little old lady in the grocery store, bump into his cart and you might find a nice, lonely guy like me.-- TONY IN CONNECTICUT

I am not in the market TYVM. However, if I was, Tony in Connecticut would not be attractive. He sounds needy, full of self pity and I would not be interested in dating someone whose prime description of himself is an old people's caretaker. Is that all you do , Tony?

What a bunch of goofs.

Ditto.

After reading these sad letters from sadder men, I am crying in my beer at the local expensive bar.

LW1: Yes, I agree.

LW2: Huh?

LW3: Dude, no matter how interesting you are, I’m not too sure too many women are going to want to sign onto your life of caring for old people.

Tony sounds just as bitter and unappealing as the original LW.

Sublime1 wrote:

LW1: Yes, I agree.
LW2: Huh?
LW3: Dude, no matter how interesting you are, I’m not too sure too many women are going to want to sign onto your life of caring for old people.

I agree with you, L1 was the only one that really nailed it.

That's some round-up of letters!

cycle003 wrote:

<quoted text>
I agree with you, L1 was the only one that really nailed it.

He did.

The only time I would do something like go to an upscale bar or wine tasting is with my girl.

A mall? I don't think I've been to a mall for probably 4 years.

You aren't going to find men at these places. This summed it up perfectly:

"You can find us after work at sports bars with friends having a beer, early morning weekends on the lake or stream fishing, kicking back watching a game on TV or working on a hot rod or motorcycle like the one we had -- or wanted -- in high school."

The rehash is not improved with the addition of sour testosterone.

1 Let's see.... Blow $50 + in the bar every friday or buy a great bottle of wine and a mouth watering cut of Ribeye stake and enjoy on the back porch...

Oh, and still probably put $20 back in my pocket.

Sorry ladies. Next time chat with me in the grocery store as I am buying this stuff and maybe I will invite you over for diner.

I dont do the blue martini.

You guys are right. LW1 made good points. TOny soun ds bitter. I hate the gym and would certainly non want to meet someone there, either.

RACE wrote:

1 Let's see.... Blow $50 + in the bar every friday or buy a great bottle of wine and a mouth watering cut of Ribeye stake and enjoy on the back porch...
Oh, and still probably put $20 back in my pocket.
Sorry ladies. Next time chat with me in the grocery store as I am buying this stuff and maybe I will invite you over for diner.
I dont do the blue martini.

I don't know RACE. Hubby had a a martini the other night that neither of us had hear of before: Aviation

It was dark blue, but that's because it's made with lavender liquour and it was AWESOME.

Might be my new favorite...

squishymama wrote:

<quoted text>
I don't know RACE. Hubby had a a martini the other night that neither of us had hear of before: Aviation
It was dark blue, but that's because it's made with lavender liquour and it was AWESOME.
Might be my new favorite...

Really? What did it taste like?

Toj wrote:

<quoted text>
Really? What did it taste like?

It reminded me, experience wise, of a Dr. Pepper. One initial taste and then about two or three after it goes down.

But it did not taste like I was drinking a sachet. I didn't even know what was in it until we talked to the somalier on our way out.

RACE wrote:

I dont do the blue martini.

Mango Margaritas though right?

Of course darling, by the truckfull!

Blue Martini is the local yuppie bar. Supposed to be upscale and for the "cool" folks, not beach bums like myself.
Guess the term is that its for the metrosexual crowd.

Mimi Seattle wrote:

<quoted text>
Mango Margaritas though right?

RACE wrote:

Of course darling, by the truckfull!
Blue Martini is the local yuppie bar. Supposed to be upscale and for the "cool" folks, not beach bums like myself.
Guess the term is that its for the metrosexual crowd.
<quoted text>

I'm curious. What does a metrosexual guy dress in? What would he look like?

I am not curious in the least, but I get the mental of david duch...whatever Fox Molder in that show.(big brain fart here)

Toj wrote:

<quoted text>
I'm curious. What does a metrosexual guy dress in? What would he look like?