Dear Abby 9-8

AngelaMN wrote:

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I was thinking, how did the guy find time for so many flings? I don't even live with my boyfriend, but I generally know his schedule. I like to think I'd know if something hinky were happening. Two years into dating (didn't the LW say they were together two years before getting married?), if you don't know he's banging men and women on the side, either he's a consummate liar or the two of you aren't very close.

If you are not living together and spending every free minute together, I think it would be a much easier road to cheat, even if the GF "knows" your schedule.

Pork chops. My mouth is watering. I'm hungry. Who's up for Perkin's? I'm home again today. I'm not as bad as I was Monday and Tuesday, I stayed home primarily to not infect the office, especially since that baby that was in NICU will be in today for her mom's baby shower.

edogxxx wrote:

LW1: Fake letter. How many women has he been "intimate" with in just a few months?

Just cause you can't work that fast don't mean it ain't possible. I could easily see a dude picking up a new chick every weekend when he's out at the bars.

AngelaMN wrote:

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Are you sure? I'm thinking of the women who get *small* implants, to go from being flat/A cup to a B cup. I suppose my argument works only for the issue of whether you can tell by seeing them.
I would think, having felt saline and silicone implants (not already put into boobs), you can always tell by feeling them.

There was an article in the papers that when Disney was casting for Pirates of the Carribean, the director told te casting people not to send anyone with fake boobs. Regardless hoe they look and feel, apparently they move differently than real ones.

I wonder if that is true for just uplifts if no implants are used, I don't know.

Played catch with graded size silicone implants at a party 30 years ago. Weird. the guy who gave the party sold the devices. I assume they were his sales samples

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> If you are not living together and spending every free minute together, I think it would be a much easier road to cheat, even if the GF "knows" your schedule.

An argument in support of living together before marriage (something I personally am not interested in, but many/most people are).

Poll:

Have you lived with a bf/gf? Did you end up getting married? Did you discover things while living together that were important to find out before marriage?

If you didn't live with an S.O. prior to marriage, do you wish you had?

L1: You are going to cross a woman off just because she has fake boobs? Good luck with that where you are living. Fake boobs are just part of the culture down there. What are your thoughts on a woman crossing you off because you use Propecia?

L2: Women like you make the rest of us look bad. With all the information you have now you still don't know what to do? Sorry, I am being too hard on you. A guy who cheated on you numerous times with numerous people, lied about it and exposed you to the possible negative consequences of his philandering can change into an honest, faithful guy just like that.

Another thought about the dude in Florida: So he's willing to get intimate with these women, which is when he discovers they have breast implants. Were they unintelligent and he was willing to fool around anyway? Or did he have no complaints about their intellect, then once he felt those fake boobs in his hands (or mouth), he decided otherwise?

AngelaMN wrote:

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I guess i would assume that if they are bigger than one would expect in relation to the body fat on the woman, they're likely not real.
I know there are exceptions, but it's a rare 5'6 130 pound woman who has a C cup.

Dunno. They-C cups- were pretty common in my high school and dorms on 5-4, 125-130 lb girls. I know because that is my size and I remember sharing pretty bras in the dormm

AngelaMN wrote:

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An argument in support of living together before marriage (something I personally am not interested in, but many/most people are).
Poll:
Have you lived with a bf/gf? Did you end up getting married? Did you discover things while living together that were important to find out before marriage?
If you didn't live with an S.O. prior to marriage, do you wish you had?

Yes, but my boyfriend moved in only after we decided to get married. We shared the condo about 3-4 months before we were actually married.
We sent tons of time at each others apartments before that. I don't recall any real surprises except, possibly, how un-handy he is about fixing things.

Hmmm...let's re-try this...

AngelaMN wrote:

L1: You say you don't like fake boobs. But are you prepared for natural boobs on a 46-year-old woman?

Not all women droop as they age. Just saying.

AngelaMN wrote:

L3: Wow, Rosh Hashanah seems early this year! When I lived in Des Moines, we had a sukkah (sp?) mobile! A portable sukkah that was driven around town.

Sukkot isn't until later in the month.

AngelaMN wrote:

I know there are exceptions, but it's a rare 5'6 130 pound woman who has a C cup.

Look at the rest of the extended family to be sure. If most or all of the females are like that, it's genetic.

AngelaMN wrote:

Poll:
Have you lived with a bf/gf? Did you end up getting married? Did you discover things while living together that were important to find out before marriage?
If you didn't live with an S.O. prior to marriage, do you wish you had?

I lived with both of my husbands before we got married. With the second, it was never for sure that we would get married. With the first, the one very important thing that I could have learned (his bi-polar disorder) did not manifest until *after* we were married.

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text>
Poll:
Have you lived with a bf/gf? Did you end up getting married? Did you discover things while living together that were important to find out before marriage?
If you didn't live with an S.O. prior to marriage, do you wish you had?

Moved in with my husband after we were engaged, about 3 months before the wedding. I didn't really *want* to live with him ahead of time (taboo in my family), but as I was trying to sell my house at the same time, it just made it easier to keep my house clean by not being there. Can't say that it made much of a difference. He's messier than I anticipated, but I can't say that made much of a difference.

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text> Poll:
Have you lived with a bf/gf? Did you end up getting married?

My wife and I went to college together and slept over at each others places many times, but we didn't live with each other until we were married.

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text> Did you discover things while living together that were important to find out before marriage?

I cannot say I learned anything about her that I didn't know before we married. We both have good communication skills and we dated for quite some time, tho. I think we both knew who each other were before we married. No surprises. Pretty much what you see is what you get when it comes to me.

AngelaMN wrote:

<quoted text>If you didn't live with an S.O. prior to marriage, do you wish you had?

I sorta liked having my own space in college and had a nice balance between my time with her and out with just my buddies. I think I would have spent too much time with just her if we had lived together. So, I wouldn't have wanted to live with her in college. That would come as no surprise to her as I'm very independent by nature and would have said no, if she asked.

Graduate school was totally difference experience from college. It was time to grow up, buckle down, and get really serious about my future. I very rarely went out partying with friends. I would have lived with her from the start of graduate school, but she was still finishing up college a few hours away from me. While she was finishing up college, we were apart for 1.5 years. As soon as she finished with college, we married and she moved into my apartment in Chicago. Good memories.

Mister Tonka wrote:

Lw1: "Abby, it's hard to find decent, intelligent women down here. All the women I have dated so far have had breast implants." So having breast implants makes you a stupid whore?

Yeah, that was going to be my comment! I hardly think there's a direct correlation between just fake boobs and stupidity, and he can't tell that she's not intelligent until he gets to grab ahold during sex. What the hell? He doesn't make any sense.

Mister Tonka wrote:

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Just cause you can't work that fast don't mean it ain't possible. I could easily see a dude picking up a new chick every weekend when he's out at the bars.

I doubt he's working that fast either. He said he's been having difficulty. Even if he was, I still find it hard to believe that every one of these women have breast implants. And he's also lumping in the fact that because they have these implants, they're not decent or intelligent.

I'm just not buying it. If this isn't fake then at the very least he's exaggerating. He sounds rather bitter and spiteful towards women.

Have you lived with a bf/gf? Yes.
Did you end up getting married? Yes.
Did you discover things while living together that were important to find out before marriage? Been so long, don't remember.

I lived with my exhb before we got married.

Unfortunately, some big things were discovered after we got married then moved away a few months later, so there wasn't really much I could do about THAT.

I don't know whether it was our bad marriage (we shouldn't have even gotten married) that pushed him over the edge mental-health-wise, or whether living in a new city with all new friends (for him, I had 30 friends from Iowa already living in the Twin Cities) did it, or a combination of all of it.

But I admit that I was very relieved that when I asked Nick about any prescription drugs he may be taking, he said he went on antidepressants for like a year to get through his divorce, mainly because he had a five year old and a newborn to raise half-time on his own right away, and he just needed to get through each day. After things leveled off and the drama subsided, he and his doctor weaned him off the antidepressants and he's otherwise never needed them.

I say "Relieved" because my ex was an antiDs and meds for "social anxiety disorder," and many men I've dated have been on meds, mainly antiDs. More people than I have ever realized are on AntiDs.

At first, they were a sort of deal breaker for me, but then it became clear that I was going to lose out on good guys if I made it a litmus test.

Pixx wrote:

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Yeah, that was going to be my comment! I hardly think there's a direct correlation between just fake boobs and stupidity, and he can't tell that she's not intelligent until he gets to grab ahold during sex. What the hell? He doesn't make any sense.

Ahh, but have you considered the correlation between women with fake boobs and the stupidity of the men who date them?

Interesting website. It is in the vein of http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/ Hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves...

http://whyarewomensostupid.com/

edogxxx wrote:

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I doubt he's working that fast either. He said he's been having difficulty. Even if he was, I still find it hard to believe that every one of these women have breast implants. And he's also lumping in the fact that because they have these implants, they're not decent or intelligent.
I'm just not buying it. If this isn't fake then at the very least he's exaggerating. He sounds rather bitter and spiteful towards women.

He didn't say he was having a difficult time dating. He said he was having difficulty finding decent, intelligent women and that all the women he's dated have had implants. Visit South Beach and his story will seem much more believable. You are bombarded by advertising for cosmetic surgery.