Abby 2-8

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Brady," broke up with me in November. Five weeks later he became engaged to someone else. I found out after that I have genital warts. My yearly exams never showed any problems before, so I know I got them from Brady. I'm getting treatment now, but I'll be contagious for the rest of my life.

I have been unable to tell Brady about this because he won't respond to my attempts to contact him. I'm now trying to decide if I should tell his fiancee. I know he wants children, and this disease can have some serious repercussions if she gets pregnant.

Do I leave this woman in the dark, or should I give her the medical information she and her doctors should have?-- NEEDS TO DO THE RIGHT THING IN NEW YORK

DEAR NEEDS TO DO THE RIGHT THING: Five weeks into a relationship is a whirlwind courtship, unless Brady was cheating on you with his fiancee before your breakup. If that's the case, she may be the person who infected Brady.

Since he won't respond to you, send him a registered letter informing him of your diagnosis, and any other information about genital warts you feel is relevant. If you're worried that the fiancee is in the dark about this, send her a copy -- also by registered mail. That way you'll know it was received.

DEAR ABBY: I am the product of an interracial relationship from the late '60s. My maternal grandmother wanted nothing to do with me and made my teenage mother give me up for adoption. Before my biological mother passed away a few years ago, her dying wish was for my grandmother and me to form a relationship. She didn't want her mother to be alone in her final years.

I made an attempt to forge a relationship with my grandmother only to be told that she didn't like me because of the color of my skin. Since then, I have been having bad dreams of my mother being disappointed in me because I didn't fulfill her wish. Please advise me on what I should do.-- UNACCEPTED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR UNACCEPTED: It takes two people to form a relationship. By reaching out to your grandmother, you did the best you could to fulfill your mother's wish -- which, from your description of your grandmother, was an unfair burden to try to place on you. There's no reason for you to court another round of rejection and, for your sake, I'm advising you not to.

It may help to write a letter to your mother, explaining to her what happened when you reached out to your grandmother and how it felt, then read it at her grave. But please, stop blaming yourself for your grandmother's inability to love.

DEAR ABBY: While going through pictures on my girlfriend's computer, I discovered that she had posed nude for a drawing by her artist daughter. For some reason, I am really bothered by her posing nude and doing it for her daughter. How can I bring this up, which will let her know that I was snooping on her computer?-- SAW WAY TOO MUCH IN KENTUCKY

DEAR SAW WAY TOO MUCH: Why would you be "really bothered" by a mother posing nude for her daughter who is an artist? Most mothers and daughters have seen each other in states of undress and there is nothing shocking about it.

My advice is to first figure out what you think is "wrong" with it, then admit that you snooped so you can talk it out. After that, she can determine if she wants to continue being involved with a man who is as nosy and prudish as you appear to be.

Did LW1 give the medical staff permission to tell these two people they need an STD screening?

LW2 did what she could. It's the grandmother 's loss for not accepting her.

LW3 looks fake...

L1: It's just a shame that she can't sue the ex for giving her the warts.
L2: To the LW, to h#ll with your 'grandmother'. To call her a grandmother is an insult to all real grandmothers, you know, the ones who actually love their grandkids.
L3: El creepo mucho..........

L1: Maybe the fiancee is the one who gave your boyfriend the genital warts. I don't think telling her will do any good.

L2: Fake letter. OR stupid person. Take your pick.

L3: You snooped and what you found is no big deal. Grow up.

Lw1: Also, MILLIONS of adults have genital warts from what I've read, and it's apparently so not a big deal, i think you want to tell the fiancee about this just to interfere in his relationship. Butt out.

1 Ahhhh, herpes the gift that keeps giving! Tell his family, and let it trickle down to him.

2 Kick granny right into the grave, she's toxin.

3 You saw a picture of your girlfriend nude, but not in a sexual situation and your bothered by this?

RACE wrote:

1 Ahhhh, herpes the gift that keeps giving! Tell his family, and let it trickle down to him.

Herpes and HPV (warts) are 2 different conditions -- and most healthy young people with a functioning immune system clear the warts virus on their own.

LW1: What Abby said.

LW2: What Abby said. And when granny's dead, go spit on her grave.

LW3: edogg?

LW1: I wouldn’t be surprised if he was banging his fiancé while dating the LW and got them from his fiancé.

LW2: Move on.

LW3: BFD.

RedheadwGlasses wrote:

it's apparently so not a big deal

It would be a deal breaker for me.

1- Yeah, YOU were the other woman he was cheating on his fiance with. Aren't there at least civil ramifications for not disclosing an std? Threaten him with a law suit. You can even be further vindictive by telling his fiancee you've been sleeping with him.

2- Abby's right, you did your part. And let's not be so judgmental, people. The older generation was/is more racist than today's more enlightened youth. It is what it is, go ahead and rip on her if it makes you feel better about yourself but when you're old, don't be surprised when the youngsters judge you for the beliefs you were raised with.

3- WooHoo! How bout some mother/daughter action! But Abby's right, daughter likely hasn't seen anything she hasn't seen when she was a child and they used to shower together.

edogxxx wrote:

Aren't there at least civil ramifications for not disclosing an std?

What if he didn't know he had one? Never got tested? Its not like she can subpoena his medical records in a fishing expedition.

Mister Tonka wrote:

LW3: edogg?

Ahahahahaha *snorting coffee through my nose*

That was exactly what I thought when I read it.

Mister Tonka wrote:

<quoted text> What if he didn't know he had one? Never got tested? Its not like she can subpoena his medical records in a fishing expedition.

Well if he didn't know, that would be one thing. I'm talking about people who DO know but pass it on anyway. That's a crime, right?

LW1: Ah, the old registered letter. That only proves that they received it, not that they actually read it.

Just take care of your own health.

P.S. It's only a if you don't know about it. Main cause of cervical cancer, yanno.

LW2: Tell your mom you tried in what ever way is good for you, and then move on. This old lady is not worth it.

LW3: Wow, Abby called a LW nosy *and* prudish. I'm proud of her.

edogxxx wrote:

<quoted text>
Well if he didn't know, that would be one thing. I'm talking about people who DO know but pass it on anyway. That's a crime, right?

But how do you prove he knew without access to confidential medical records? If it was a case of AIDS, I could POSSIBLY see a criminal prosecutor getting the judge to sign off on that access based on the vitual death sentence, but genital warts? I highly doubt that's gonna fly.

edogxxx wrote:

<quoted text>
Well if he didn't know, that would be one thing. I'm talking about people who DO know but pass it on anyway. That's a crime, right?

According to Law and Order it is. ;)

cycle003 wrote:

<quoted text>
According to Law and Order it is. ;)

And in real life too...at least when concerning HIV.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criminal_transmi...

See proof I am not a doctor!
Is that the thing they give girls the shot to prevent that is causing a ruckus?

If so, why force a girl to get a shot, if it clears up.
I think its more Govt interference, probably putting microchips into these girls to sell them to the aliens as sex slaves later.

VAdame wrote:

<quoted text>
Herpes and HPV (warts) are 2 different conditions -- and most healthy young people with a functioning immune system clear the warts virus on their own.

edogxxx wrote:

1- Yeah, YOU were the other woman he was cheating on his fiance with. Aren't there at least civil ramifications for not disclosing an std? Threaten him with a law suit.

Only with HIV. And even then, you have to prove that the person KNOWS they had it (as in, got positive test results) and that they KNOWINGLY spread it.