Student arrested for 'passing gas' and turning off classmates' ...

B Hynd wrote:

<quoted text>
A good time was had by all and if the truth be known, the dog will spread the word around and find a way for payback.
Be careful what you feed the pooch and friends.

Just a bunch of Vets and active Navy celebrating "Our Day". I did not do the hot dogs - or other food - we supplied the home brew and the gathering place. Friends did the rest and extra hootch. I will tell you this. There are a lot of hung over Vets today. Kids went to grandmas for the night. Mom said, "You all celebrate, you earned it. I will take them to school tomorrow too. So, this vet actually got to sleep it off.

B Hynd wrote:

<quoted text>
A good time was had by all and if the truth be known, the dog will spread the word around and find a way for payback.
Be careful what you feed the pooch and friends.

As a young Saluki, my family had hunting dogs, and one of them was a coonhound/beagle mix. He could clear a yard when he beefed.

Saluki Rod wrote:

<quoted text>
As a young Saluki, my family had hunting dogs, and one of them was a coonhound/beagle mix. He could clear a yard when he beefed.

And all the young Salukis would hold their noses and laugh.....

It's getting close to the time when I'll have to get up on the roof and tell Santa Claus to forget about going down the chimney.
Last year he ripped a loud power fart halfway down the chimney and it resulted in blowing out the fire and a huge cleanup of soot all over my house.
He blamed it on the neighbor's cookies.

Last year, Santa shat down my chimney. This year,I'm going to wait till he's half way down then I'm gonna turn on the gas jets and burn the hair right off his big ass.

Mark Skidmark wrote:

It's getting close to the time when I'll have to get up on the roof and tell Santa Claus to forget about going down the chimney.
Last year he ripped a loud power fart halfway down the chimney and it resulted in blowing out the fire and a huge cleanup of soot all over my house.
He blamed it on the neighbor's cookies.

Ahhh, be grateful he did not blow apart the chimney. That would have been so expensive to fix.

Back again with bathroom etiquet.
Yes folks .......

We've all been there but don't like to admit it... We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the *WORK POOP* is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

*CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

*FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a *FREQUENT FLYER*. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

*ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it.. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

*JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

*COURTESY FLUSH* The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the *WALK OF SHAME*.

*WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bath room.. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the *COURTESY FLUSH*.

*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

*TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the *Turd Burglar* leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact

LMAO!!!! That why we love you Flatulencia!

Flatulencia Toilleta wrote:

Back again with bathroom etiquet.
Yes folks .......
We've all been there but don't like to admit it... We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the *WORK POOP* is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
*CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
*FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a *FREQUENT FLYER*. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
*ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it.. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
*JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
*COURTESY FLUSH* The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the *WALK OF SHAME*.
*WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bath room.. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the *COURTESY FLUSH*.
*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
*TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the *Turd Burglar* leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact

lmmfgao , so damn funny..how about the 'The Lingering Liola"..that is when someone comes back from taking a killer deposit and you can smell the turd all over him... kind of like how garlic kinda stays on your clothes !!! omg... light a damn candle !!!

I plead guilty. At least I don't call out "Burnin' one!" anymore.

*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

I used to work in a 10K person office in the NW suburbs of Chicago. I found 3 safe havens, places where you could bring in the paper, get comfy on the throne and let it rip. Those were the good old days.

*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner. I highly recommend popcorn stuffing for the bird.
You can hear the turkey constantly farting in the oven until it turns brown.

Flatulencia Toilleta wrote:

Back again with bathroom etiquet.
Yes folks .......
We've all been there but don't like to admit it... We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the *WORK POOP* is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, the following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
*CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.
*FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a *FREQUENT FLYER*. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
*ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it.. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
*JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
*COURTESY FLUSH* The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the *WALK OF SHAME*.
*WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bath room.. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the *COURTESY FLUSH*.
*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
*TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the *Turd Burglar* leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact

A Wonderful Blast from the Past! Excellent memory and post. There is a reason we all like it here. Potty humor and farts are funny and we know it!

Saluki Rod wrote:

I plead guilty. At least I don't call out "Burnin' one!" anymore.
*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

Yes, but the smug look of pleasure on his face was not mentioned.

Saluki Rod wrote:

I used to work in a 10K person office in the NW suburbs of Chicago. I found 3 safe havens, places where you could bring in the paper, get comfy on the throne and let it rip. Those were the good old days.
*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

While working at the casino 9pm-5am, the safe haven was the exective head. All the big boys worked during the day, so no one around. Could not get any safer. One of the Sr. VP's told me where it was. It was "The Golden Throne", worshiped by all who knew about it and kept the secret.

Mark Skidmark wrote:

Thanksgiving Day is right around the corner. I highly recommend popcorn stuffing for the bird.
You can hear the turkey constantly farting in the oven until it turns brown.

Well, if you can't get the noise going one way, there are other alternatives. A well placed whoopie cushion may also add to the festivities. Under grandpa's chair cushion sounds like a plan. He is stone deaf and wouldn't know a thing about it. The rest would think he was at it again. I am sure it would be too funny.

Mommy and Dave wrote:

<quoted text>
Well, if you can't get the noise going one way, there are other alternatives. A well placed whoopie cushion may also add to the festivities. Under grandpa's chair cushion sounds like a plan. He is stone deaf and wouldn't know a thing about it. The rest would think he was at it again. I am sure it would be too funny.

Many grandpa's have had the blame pinned on them during Thanksgiving Day especially after dinner.
Another bonus is when putting up the Christmas tree, induce grandpa to start sneezing and there's your icicles already hanging.
Be sure he's around for Christmas for some more farting.

Mark Skidmark wrote:

<quoted text>
Many grandpa's have had the blame pinned on them during Thanksgiving Day especially after dinner.
Another bonus is when putting up the Christmas tree, induce grandpa to start sneezing and there's your icicles already hanging.
Be sure he's around for Christmas for some more farting.

I think it is a grandpa thing. Just blame them. They do not care. In fact more often than not, they did it. They also are beyond shame. They just grin.

RIDICULOUS wow you have got to be kidding me what else do you expect from a 13 year old boy i have a funny feeling he was probably just trying to get attention from someone wrong attention but nonetheless still attention... wow farting my kids fart i laugh!!!!!!

TheReal Pitbull wrote:

If this isn't a prime example of our society going straight to hell I don't know what is; on the W.T.F. scale this is at least a 45 on a scale of 1-10 what's next executions for burping in class?
Maybe if you cough you get "caned" it's rediculas, there's kids killing each other on a dayley ( those from chicago will get the spelling)basis but we'er going to arrest a child for having a bodily function! If it's that nasty then why wasn't he sent home/to the nurse to see if there is something medically wrong with him/her?
IGNORANCE: That's the word of today!

You won't get any arguements from us here. We all agree!