21 reasons for Tribe futility

wow that was horrible

22. Jose Canseco signed as new closer.

23. Still set on having a memorable season, Wedge decides to make MLB history by having all nine players play nine different positions in a single game. He then plans to repeat the feat at every remaining away game, in order protect the legacy by putting the record out of reach.

When asked why in the world he would plan this for away games instead of home games, Wedge responds by asking why it would matter either way.

24. To compliment the current bullpen, Wedge experiments with a 4- and 5-man outfield.

25. Shapiro petitions MLB to immediately institute a new "mercy" rule.

26. The team invests millions into a new "David Dellucci disguise" for Grady Sizemore so he can bat twice.

27. Travis Hafner returns the day after the Tribe is mathematically eliminated from the playoffs and proceeds to hit .593, as the Tribe wins every remaining game.

28. Byrd tries to fool batters with his new quintuple-windup.

29. Tribe marketing department comes up with a new "Free tickets if you pay to park here" promotion.

30. After trying everything else, Jeremy Sowers decides to drop 20 lbs to see if it helps turn things around.

31. John Adams is seen driving a huge Uhaul truck in the direction of Atlanta.

32. It's discovered that Derek Shelton actually passed away before Spring Training started; Jhonny Peralta exclaims, "I thought he was just upset with how we'd been playing".

Both of them were funny!

It's easy to make jokes about Marte but he looked pretty good Saturday with three hard-hit balls, including a pair of long doubles (one just missed going out) plus a nice defensive stop at third base. Now is the time to find out if this guy can play. Put him at third for the rest of the season. We've got nothing to lose. You can't judge a player when he just pinch hits once a week.
And please pull the trigger on the Sabathia trade with Milwaukee! Let's not screw around and end up getting nothing for him. Do it before Tuesday. It would just the Indians' luck to let this thing drag on and have CC throw for us Tuesday and then have him go down with an injury which would kill any trade possibilities.

How about the number one reason? Lack of effort on the part of the players!!! Are these guys playing at quarter-speed or what?

Sheldon, you are awful. You are not good at your job. You should find new work.