Student arrested for 'passing gas' and turning off classmates' ...

Da Man wrote:

Workin' on a new toxic chili recipe that kicks in at half time. There will be more fireworks than Madonna, even if she has a wardrobe malfunction. No smoking allowed as that could result in a fireball lit from the fumes...

I'm about to go buy chili fixin's. Semper Flatus!

Gotta love the scenes on "The Babe" that involve the "pull my finger" gag lol

Mrs. Wombat sends me off to work with slightly undercooked brussels sprouts thinking they will finish when I warm them up in the microwave. I like a bit of balsamic with them and to my dismay forgot it. Rather than heating and eating plain, popped a cold one in and found them quite pleasant. A bit sweet with a bit of al dente texture, quite pleasant. The fermentation however was not...

Maybe due to the rawness or sugars or what not, took about a day and a half of colon gurgling digestion and then the winds blew in (out?). Fierce as a typhoon and fragrant as a Voodoo Lilly, had all my comrades doing the duck and cover yelling GAS GAS GAS with every thunderous boom.

Management is considering a brussels sprouts ban at work but can't figure out how to enforce off-duty consumption.

The student that was arrested for passing gas is now of the age where he can produce adult farts.

Brrrrraaaaaaap !!!

WombatSix wrote:

Mrs. Wombat sends me off to work with slightly undercooked brussels sprouts thinking they will finish when I warm them up in the microwave. I like a bit of balsamic with them and to my dismay forgot it. Rather than heating and eating plain, popped a cold one in and found them quite pleasant. A bit sweet with a bit of al dente texture, quite pleasant. The fermentation however was not...
Maybe due to the rawness or sugars or what not, took about a day and a half of colon gurgling digestion and then the winds blew in (out?). Fierce as a typhoon and fragrant as a Voodoo Lilly, had all my comrades doing the duck and cover yelling GAS GAS GAS with every thunderous boom.
Management is considering a brussels sprouts ban at work but can't figure out how to enforce off-duty consumption.

Who told management about the brussels sprouts? Will they ban all kinds of cabbages? No Stouffers stuffed cabbage for lunch?

Pompano Beach Gail wrote:

<quoted text>
Who told management about the brussels sprouts? Will they ban all kinds of cabbages? No Stouffers stuffed cabbage for lunch?

Lot of management by walking around. Bright bunch, that. Spied me at the desk at lunch then put it together with the after-action reports. Didn't help that my partner threw me under the bus. He new nickname is "Greyhound".

No worries tho, they can have my sprouts when they pry them from my cold, dead fingers.

it's anything cabbage or cabbage related like califlower and brussel sprouts as well that might have to be part of it.

Ahhhhh ..... yes !

A heaping bowl of French onion soup and some greasy fries then sit back and wait.

Tomorrow I am buying a nice head a cabbage to join my cornedbeef in the crock pot. 8hrs to cook and 8hrs of gas.

Art the Fart wrote:

Ahhhhh ..... yes !
A heaping bowl of French onion soup and some greasy fries then sit back and wait.

RACE wrote:

Tomorrow I am buying a nice head a cabbage to join my cornedbeef in the crock pot. 8hrs to cook and 8hrs of gas.
<quoted text>

Mmmmmm. Sounds good. What time is dinner? I, personally, like to take the corned beef out of the cabbage, cover it with mustard and some brown sugar, then place it in the oven. The corned beef gets a nice crust on it. Yummy.

Dinner will be served promptly @ 7, so make sure your on time!
Doesnt it dry out in the oven?

Pompano Beach Gail wrote:

<quoted text>
Mmmmmm. Sounds good. What time is dinner? I, personally, like to take the corned beef out of the cabbage, cover it with mustard and some brown sugar, then place it in the oven. The corned beef gets a nice crust on it. Yummy.

According to recent gastrology reports, the average adult will fart 15-18 times each day with some farting louder than others and depending on what food was consumed.

RACE wrote:

Dinner will be served promptly @ 7, so make sure your on time!
Doesnt it dry out in the oven?
<quoted text>

I need directions to your house and you will have to keep mine warm as I don't get off work until 8pm. Also my office is now in Davie.

It isn't in the oven long enough to dry out. Just long enough to create a tasty crust from the mustard and brown sugar. I also want it to stay together enough to slice it without falling apart. I love corned beef as a sandwich, with the cabbage & boiled potatoes on the side.

Easy-peasy! I will just unplug it from 5-6, thus pushing back the hour.
So you can get off of 95 @ oakland park blvd and have diner with me before you head home!

Pompano Beach Gail wrote:

<quoted text>
I need directions to your house and you will have to keep mine warm as I don't get off work until 8pm. Also my office is now in Davie.
It isn't in the oven long enough to dry out. Just long enough to create a tasty crust from the mustard and brown sugar. I also want it to stay together enough to slice it without falling apart. I love corned beef as a sandwich, with the cabbage & boiled potatoes on the side.

RACE wrote:

Easy-peasy! I will just unplug it from 5-6, thus pushing back the hour.
So you can get off of 95 @ oakland park blvd and have diner with me before you head home!
<quoted text>

I take different routes to/from work now that I've been moved to Davie. I take the Turnpike in the morning and take 441 home to avoid the toll at night. Only time I go on I-95 now is when I need to go to Costco for gas.

441? with all those lights? Crazy!

No matter, you still turn onto OPB.

Pompano Beach Gail wrote:

<quoted text>
I take different routes to/from work now that I've been moved to Davie. I take the Turnpike in the morning and take 441 home to avoid the toll at night. Only time I go on I-95 now is when I need to go to Costco for gas.

All good farters need to keep sharpening their skills with continued practice.

http://www.fart-sounds.net/fartboard.swf

RACE wrote:

441? with all those lights? Crazy!
No matter, you still turn onto OPB.
<quoted text>

After 8pm it's not too bad. I wouldn't take 441 going to work. That road is crazy busy during the day. That's why I take the Turnpike going to work. I got a speeding ticket the other week. My 14 year old Snailmobile, with over 132,000 miles got a speeding ticket.

Granny lead foot.

Pompano Beach Gail wrote:

<quoted text>
After 8pm it's not too bad. I wouldn't take 441 going to work. That road is crazy busy during the day. That's why I take the Turnpike going to work. I got a speeding ticket the other week. My 14 year old Snailmobile, with over 132,000 miles got a speeding ticket.

I bowl league on Tuesday nites. As luck would have it, Tuesday is Taco Salad Tuesdays in the work cafeteria. I opt for the extra Jalapenos, refried beans and onions. After a few beers, by the 2nd game I'm ripe. I've caused the pit to evacuate at times with the potency of my gas. My teamates roll with laughter.
I once made a guy on the next lane throw a gutter ball cuz he was about to gag.