Police Search For Johnny Neptune

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Since: Jan 11

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#1
Jan 23, 2011
 
Atlanta police are investigating reports that the man who's been going around town and trying to get unsuspecting people to rub his nipples is Johnny Neptune. For six months now, victims have been reporting that an odd man has caught them off guard, often popping his head out of garbage cans as they walk past, cursed at them, and begged them to "Please rub my nipples"...

This behavior has earned him the nickname 'Johnny The Grouch' while police have desperately tried to apprehend the man. He has also been reported to have tried negotiating with his victims, often offering to drink their vomit if they will address his nipple sensitivity issue.

One woman said "He told me he would let me shit in his face JUST to see the hole it fell out of"... A police sketch artist finished a rendition drawn from victim's descriptions, and as soon as it was completed, a local animal control officer instantly recognized it as Johnny Neptune.

"I met Johnny years ago when he would offer to have sex with dogs after we euthanized them. We would tell him that was against our policy, but when he offered to pay for it, we allowed Johnny to have access", said the animal control officer. "I should've known. Neptune would always rub Vicks Vapo Rub on his nipples and yell profanities as he prepared to rape the dogs' corpses. It made me so sick, I'd actually vomit, but Johnny always offered to drink it, then he'd climb into our garbage can."

Police have an All Points Bulletin out for Mr. Neptune and are currently searching the city, one garbage can at a time.

Further details as they become available.
RogueDog

Rochester, MI

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#2
Nov 12, 2012
 
This is perfectly natural behavior on meth. Hopefully the case goes cold and the apd puts it on the back burner.
terence carroll

Macon, GA

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#3
Nov 18, 2012
 
i saw him on cherry street in macon ga he offered me and our homies to prank his so to say hot young girlfriend so we did it and walked off
LMMFAO AT SO TO SAY

Macon, GA

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#4
Nov 28, 2012
 
TRUST ME, SHE'S HOT AS SHIT, AND HALF MY AGE... THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING WITH THE PRANK, HOWEVER...
terence carroll wrote:
i saw him on cherry street in macon ga he offered me and our homies to prank his so to say hot young girlfriend so we did it and walked off
WTF

United States

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#5
Mar 1, 2013
 
WHAT THE FHUCK ?
WTF

United States

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#6
Mar 1, 2013
 
RogueDog wrote:
This is perfectly natural behavior on meth. Hopefully the case goes cold and the apd puts it on the back burner.
...YOU, SIR.... are a MENACE TO SOCIETY !!! WHAT THE FHUCK ?
WTF

United States

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#7
Mar 1, 2013
 
terence carroll wrote:
i saw him on cherry street in macon ga he offered me and our homies to prank his so to say hot young girlfriend so we did it and walked off
....I refuse to drop to your profane level, but What In The Unprotected Anal Fornication were YOU doing on PoppedCherry Street when there's a Vicks Vapo Rub Nipple Bandit on the loose ?.... WHAT THE FHUCK ?
Harry lowle

Asbury Park, NJ

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#8
Apr 21, 2013
 
This guy goes on a chatsite called www.mbuzzy.com and has a username "plssnpploff" he was online yesterday telling teenage girls he wants to do these same things also has over 500 fake accounts
tmi my name only

Salt Lake City, UT

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#9
Aug 23, 2013
 
guys this was posted in 2011 if your posting shit to get revenge @ harry then drop it =

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