Mother decries reckless driving after sons killed on Laurel Glen Road

As a young person I drove with no concept of my own mortality or of anyone else's. I don't think anything could have changed me at the time. Maybe a night in a morgue, possibly.

If all of these "kids" had issues with driving recklessly, why were they allowed to have cars? Driving is a privilege, not a right. I feel for the mother as I cant imagine the pain of losing not one but 2 children. But as parents we need to step up and enforce rules. Kids need to realize that the parents are in charge, not them.

Josh, clearly you are not a parent because if you were you would realize exactly how little control you really have over another person. These are young adults we are talking about not grade-school kids. Most parents do everything they can to protect and teach their children but we cannot be there 100% of the time guiding their every action - impossible and harmful because that prohibits them from learning from their mistakes. Yes, this as a fatal mistake but don't you dare blame this on the parents. They were helpless here.
Have some compassion and pray this never happens to you.

When I was younger I used to righteously blame parents for not controlling their kids. I don't do that anymore. I feel for this mom, and I respect her choice to try to make something good come out of what for her is hell on earth. God bless you.

No, I'm not a parent but I was raised by some damn good ones. When I was a teen and abused my car privilege it was taken away. Once I took the car out without permission my parents reported the car stolen. After being picked up by the police I never took the car again. Maybe my parents were the exception to the rule and somehow found themselves mysteriously capable of teaching me that there are rewards for good behavior and consequences for illegal and unsafe behavior, whether or not someone gets hurt. Personal/parental responsibility is more and more a novelty these days, everyone wants to blame something else.

My heart goes out to the mohter who has lost her baby boys, and her nephew in a sense. Boys will be boys, we have to love them, honor them, KNOW them as this mother did. But we cannot control them or always know what they will do. It makes my skin crawl when a witness states so callously "Those boys terriorized our streets!" Let's all remove our selves from the pedestal and think back to our younger years....many times these children with so much spirit take years to mature, that does not mean they are criminals, or trouble makers..it simply means they choose to take a different path. Do not judge and or point the finger until you have walked in their shoes.

Josh wrote:

No, I'm not a parent but I was raised by some **** good ones. When I was a teen and abused my car privilege it was taken away. Once I took the car out without permission my parents reported the car stolen. After being picked up by the police I never took the car again. Maybe my parents were the exception to the rule and somehow found themselves mysteriously capable of teaching me that there are rewards for good behavior and consequences for illegal and unsafe behavior, whether or not someone gets hurt. Personal/parental responsibility is more and more a novelty these days, everyone wants to blame something else.

You have described what many on the conservative side have apply described as liberalism as a society disease!

on laurel glen YESTERDAY. A car passed three of us one at a time (we were doing 35) across the double yellow line putting us all in danger each time. The young man in the car (grey Subaru with tail wing) had to be doing 55 or 60, faster after he passed. The clincher is when the three us got to the soquel light where he was.....stuck at the red. he gained NO time over us as he risked his and our life and limb.

Josh, you do talk like someone who has never had kids. If you did, you'd know firsthand that not all kids learn from being grounded or having privileges taken away. Some kids learn through hard experience. If you turned out so well, then we all applaud you. Part of it was parental skill, part of it was your own personality, and part of it was dumb luck.

But let's suppose this woman was a lousy parent. How about cutting her some slack because she's obviously learned a tough lesson... and in the worst possible way. But rather than blame others or make excuses, she's using her experience to help save lives.

Until you've been a parent, until you've seen that the textbook solutions don't always apply in real life, you have no idea what the road is like. Let's cut her some slack.

My younger bro behaved like this...back in the 70's.
The folks didn't want to deliver ultimatums or cut him off, either. He's doing time right now for his 14th-15th bust (by no means all driving-related).

Based on personal experience, with the aforementioned younger bro, what seems to be going on with this sort of situation is this: The parent, though not exactly elderly, is being subjected to basically the same thing as psychological and financial elder abuse, if not physical abuse. The parents may also have evolved into a 'co-dependent' frame of mind. Finally the kids behave in destructive/self-destructive behavior to seek parental attention, and it's working.

I agree with Josh. My parents took away my keys when I abused the car. People can make up any excuses they want, but it all falls back on the parenting skills. That's why they are the adults. Too many parents nowadays want to be their kids "friend" and seem to get pleasure knowing this. They need to be their kids parent 1st.

Bummer. #1 cause of teenage mortality -- cars. Only country in the world where this is the case (as of 2000); mechanization has outpaced our ability to inspire situational consideration in our nascent adults. Then again horses used to cause a lot of grief.

I'm glad I only had an 82 Honda when I learned to drive in these mountains. It is such a rush - it's addictive! But after a drunk driver nearly killed me in college, now I drive like an old man or I don't drive at all.

Larry wrote:

I really feel for this mom. I know how kids can be. But in a strange way, given the kid's track record, it's probably better for the rest of the neighborhood that they're gone before they killed someone poor bystander with their recklessness. It looked like it was only a matter of time.

I get what you're TYRING to say, but really? "better that they're gone" is a really really sick thing to say.

hey i live in the soquel mountiains and went to school with some of these kids and grew up with them. i have seen it all with drunk drivers on this road since i have been living up here since b4 the earthquake in 89. accidents happen and people will learn from them and i have and i know the boy is learning about it as we speak. i just hope all of his friends learn about this b4 something really bad happens again to them. drunk teens arent the only ones driving up around here. i see adults that are belligerent drunks driving around all the time. so i think as whole are community needs to come together and work on this and teach our youth on how to take care of one another when driving on these mountain roads. i stop at least once every winter to help someone with there accident on the wet roads. so be supportive of santa cruz county youth bc they are the future.

My heart goes out to this mom. I applaud her for trying to make sure NO OTHER parent goes through the pain she is in.
I wish people would try to be on the receiving end of these remarks before posting them. I think their words are striking out at the wrong person. This mom shared her life pain and still people want to turn the knife a little more on her with their words.
I wish her nephew would have gotten something like her son did with probation and education. I also pray he gets therapy since he will carry this for the rest of his life. He should be speaking with his aunt and write a chapter in the book she is writing on how HIS actions distroyed LIVES!
To the mom, keep up whatever helps you get through each day. God Bless you... Enjoy that grandbaby.

A friend of theirs wrote:

<quoted text>
Hey Josh, how about I punch you in the face multiple times. Calling dead people who died in a terrible crash "idiots"??**** is the matter with you. Your a d.i.c.k plain and simple. If you want to meet to settle this one just post a spot and time, these were my friends your talking about and they weren't "idiots" and we miss them and their mother misses them. They had friends and family and were just young males who do crazy stuff like so many other young males. They weren't stabbing or tagging or committing crimes, they were just a little reckless as so many young people are. So if you want to back up your big mouth let me know where to find you and we can settle this.

They were habitual MINOR drunk drivers and nobody did a thing about it. Some friend you are. It takes a really big man to threaten someone on the internet.

A friend of theirs wrote:

Hey Josh, how about I punch you in the face multiple times. Calling dead people who died in a terrible crash "idiots"??**** is the matter with you. Your a d.i.c.k plain and simple. If you want to meet to settle this one just post a spot and time, these were my friends your talking about and they weren't "idiots" and we miss them and their mother misses them. They had friends and family and were just young males who do crazy stuff like so many other young males. They weren't stabbing or tagging or committing crimes, they were just a little reckless as so many young people are. So if you want to back up your big mouth let me know where to find you and we can settle this.

My goodness, friend, you seem to be the reason the bullies in the hills have such a bad reputation. Fight? Over words in a newspaper's forum? Settle down. I'm sorry you lost your friends. This forum is not a memorial, it's a place to discuss the issues. Reckless driving is an issue, more so with teens. It puts others at risk, as was seen by the woman who was hit by one of these reckless teens.

I applaud Shannon Barclay Adams for wanting to make a difference. I wonder what she has learned that could have changed her parenting style to one that didn't create the bullies who terrorized the Santa Cruz mountains for years. What did they call themselves, The Mountain Boyz? It's really a shame that Donovan hasn't learned from his tragic, and fatal, mistake.

By the way, vehicular manslaughter IS a crime.

and "a friend of theirs", you can meet me here if you want to threaten violence:

Santa Cruz Police Department
155 Center St.
Santa Cruz, CA 95060