A light in the window

Its about time that people acknoledge this problem.
For all of us out there who have been through this type of violence, we need to stand strong.
It is horrible to find yourself in this type of situtation, the person who is supposed to love you is the one who will hurt you the most, again and again. Then tell you it is your fault. The abusers, men and women, need to take responsibility for their own actions. No one makes someone else abuse them physically, mentally or financially. The abusers choose to do for their own gratification. Abusers are like Dr. Jekyle and Mr. Hyde, you never know which one will show up next.
For those who have not had to endure this, you have no way of knowing the pain and agnoy of living with it all.
This problem occurs in all levels of our society. No one wants to admit that they are a victim of this abuse. So yes, lets light purple lights and lots of them. Do not stop there do all that you can to bring this problem to everyones attention.
Who knows the person you help save may be yourself.

It seems to me there must be agencies one can go to and get help in this kind of a situation.My heart really does go out to any and all of you who find yourself in this situation........

1-4 all wrote:

Its about time that people acknoledge this problem.
For all of us out there who have been through this type of violence, we need to stand strong.
It is horrible to find yourself in this type of situtation, the person who is supposed to love you is the one who will hurt you the most, again and again. Then tell you it is your fault. The abusers, men and women, need to take responsibility for their own actions. No one makes someone else abuse them physically, mentally or financially. The abusers choose to do for their own gratification. Abusers are like Dr. Jekyle and Mr. Hyde, you never know which one will show up next.
For those who have not had to endure this, you have no way of knowing the pain and agnoy of living with it all.
This problem occurs in all levels of our society. No one wants to admit that they are a victim of this abuse. So yes, lets light purple lights and lots of them. Do not stop there do all that you can to bring this problem to everyones attention.
Who knows the person you help save may be yourself.

I lived the pain and agony of this for almost 30 years--you are so right when you say its like a Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde situation--People are always saying "why put up with it" I don't have the answer---you can't think right until you are out of it--You still have nightmares---always will---you still see the damage done to your children and past on to the grandchildren--I can say this---ABUSERS NEVER STOP. Still today I don't why--I also can say noone can make it stop but the person being abused--When you know it's either your life or the abusers maybe then you still have enough mind to do something.My prayers go out to anyone living with an abuser.

Yesterday is already gone and tomorrow is only a vision,but today,well-lived, can be a vision of hope.

I have been mentally abused by my spouse for over 27 years, I can say to you personally, when they are nice you love them to death, but when they change it is a whole different story. Why did I stay? I kept thinking if I am so good to them, they will want to change. They don't, it is their nature to be controlling and dominating, making you feel like everyone else is against you. They put up a wonderful front for the world to see, but in private it is a different story. You are afraid to say anything to anyone because they wouldn't believe anything on such a "nice person". I am alone now and glad of it but I still do not like to go out in public for fear of what he has said about me. The damage is done, it's too late for me but I hope this will help someone else to see the light. Mental abuse is as bad if not worse than physical abuse. There were many times I wish he would have hit me instead of saying the things he said. Please if you are in a situation like this,GET OUT, IT WILL NOT CHANGE.

My mother spent several years in a physically and mentally abusive relationship, still to this day I wonder why, but she has never been able to really give an answer.

I am very glad that she finally got out of it, it has been 10+ years since then, and she still lives in fear of him.

I hope and pray for anyone that is currently in an abusive relationship that they get out safely.

It is hard. I used to say that women that stayed with abusive men were "stupid", but I learned the HARD WAY, that it is not that cut and dry. You do think they will change, you do think that it will validify your worthiness if he doesn't do it again, but they don't stop. My abuser begged me to stay with him, even went to get counseling, I thought that everything was okay until I found out he had been abusing our 4 month old twins while I was at work. Innocent little babies. When all of that happened, CPS told me that I was acting admirably, when I asked why, the worker responded that "you wouldn't believe" the number of women that choose the abuser instead of their children. That is unreal to me. But, I guess it's also unreal to me that I could leave him when he done it to my babies, but I couldn't when he done it to me. To any woman out there reading this right now that is being abused, I never thought he would do it to the kids, he always helped with feedings and diapers and sung to them, he seemed like a great dad, but if he abuses you it IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE ABUSES YOUR CHILDREN!!! I know its hard, I've been there, but get out while you can. I wasn't beaten every day, or even every month, but abuse is abuse, and we are beautiful, smart, women of every shape,size, age, and ethnicity, believe that about yourself!!!

It's hard enough when going through the abuse but it's an extra slap in the face when your abuser is a person that knows how to lie exceptionally well and has the entire county fooled. Sometimes, people know, and the tale has been told on them more than once, but they still point the finger at the ex and the community goes along with their lies and joins them in running down the ex because of their position in the community or because it is convenient to blame the ex. Lots of spouses being unfairly persecuted by family and community because of lies by the abuser and by their friends and family. The day will come though.....

All women in abusive relationships need to know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! The people that abuse you are weak and need to bring you down to make themselves feel better. Please do not be ashamed of what might have been said about you or what people might think of you. Does it really matter what small minded people think? NO!!!!! Go live your life for you. Your true friends will support and love you no matter what. Screw the rest of them.

In the know wrote:

All women in abusive relationships need to know that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! The people that abuse you are weak and need to bring you down to make themselves feel better. Please do not be ashamed of what might have been said about you or what people might think of you. Does it really matter what small minded people think? NO!!!!! Go live your life for you. Your true friends will support and love you no matter what. Screw the rest of them.

I know wemen are abused, but what about the men? I am abused. I am not joking. It gets really bad sometimes and I don't know what to do. No one believes that a man can be abused and I have been laughed at for telling. So where do I turn?

What about ME wrote:

<quoted text>I know wemen are abused, but what about the men? I am abused. I am not joking. It gets really bad sometimes and I don't know what to do. No one believes that a man can be abused and I have been laughed at for telling. So where do I turn?

Oh,how I wish I knew the answer to help you. I do know I can pray for you to get the proper and correct help you need.....

What about ME wrote:

<quoted text>I know wemen are abused, but what about the men? I am abused. I am not joking. It gets really bad sometimes and I don't know what to do. No one believes that a man can be abused and I have been laughed at for telling. So where do I turn?

The same advice applies...GET OUT!! I know several men who are abused, and not just emotionally. Mean, controlling, mentally ill, vengeful people come in both sexes. It won't get better.

I believe you. I worked with a man that was abused in both ways.I saw the phyiscal marks and the way he talked I knew that he was also mentally abused..Get out now or the next time it happenes you may not be here to talk about it

And how bout the man who plays the victim while being the abuse.Know any locally. Oh I dated her but she is a psycho. And I dated her and she is crazy. And we used to be together but she is mental. The lowest of the lowest.

bears4me wrote:

I believe you. I worked with a man that was abused in both ways.I saw the phyiscal marks and the way he talked I knew that he was also mentally abused..Get out now or the next time it happenes you may not be here to talk about it

wow wrote:

And how bout the man who plays the victim while being the abuse.Know any locally. Oh I dated her but she is a psycho. And I dated her and she is crazy. And we used to be together but she is mental. The lowest of the lowest. <quoted text>

There again,both sexes are guilty of that as well

"wow wrote " And how bout the man who plays the victim while being the abuse.Know any locally. Oh I dated her but she is a psycho. And I dated her and she is crazy. And we used to be together but she is mental. The lowest of the lowest.
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Sounds like you know my ex. He can tell a lie better than others can tell the truth. He will never admit all the things that he has done, he will never admit that all he knows how to do is lie about everything. Possessive, Controlling and mean, if something does not go his way, there was he** to pay. He always blames someone or something else for his problems.
The former Sheriff and a current deputy even said that at first you think that he is just a nice harmelss old man That was before they got to know him. Now they will tell you that he is just plain mean and a lair. Abusers never change, as much as the people who care about them hope and pray that they will, it will not happen. Each of kindness toward them, they see as a weakness in you and they will use that for their own advantage.
They are heartless and cruel the only feelings and love they have is for themselves.

Most of them don't even love themselves, thats why they don't love anyone else. My ex did it to me for four years before I could get away. One day, towards the end we were driving to the mall, we got into an argument over God knows what, and he was calling me all types of bitches and even drug my dead mother into it, I snapped and smacked him across the face and this fool has the nerve to look at me and say, "You hit me!! I can't believe you hit me!! I thought you loved me?!!" Are u freakin' serious??!! I'm not saying that it was okay that I smacked him, but REALLY??

To the poster from Kansas City, MO:

I agree, that is why they do it, to make them feel better about themselves. They belittle yoou to make them feel superior.

I am sorry for the pain and loss that you have gone through with your ex. I know how you feel, I have through the same type of situation, with my ex.

Question for you--Do you live in Kansas City and if so are from Hinton?

I know of a lady who is formerly from Hinton who know lives in Kansas City.

No, actually I haven't set up an account on here yet, and the name I chose must belong to someone from there. I'm from Beckley.

5yrs ago my ex would go into this state were he wasnt his self and he,s not a small one.couldnt shower alone r even go to another room w out following.one time choked me to were i almost stoped breathing and felt like my eyes were gona pop.very posesive.