Brownsville News

After two consecutive days of power outage it was discovered to be the work of a pair of suicidal squirrels - undoubtedly members of PETA working in conjunction with other eco-terrorists and the Obama administration.

The Pledge of Allegiance was recited to start a school board meeting at which a financial settlement was denied for a student who refuses to stand up for those very words.

CENTERVILLE Two sides of a giant, poured-in-place concrete bridge towering over the Monongahela River met in the middle Wednesday under master planning that ended with a near-seamless deck.

Pennsylvania's Brownsville Area School District has capitulated to the ACLU after being sued for disciplining a 13-year old girl who, according to reports, steadfastly refused to stand for the pledge of allegiance.

According to the AP, a Brownsville, Pennsylvania school district changed its mind about punishing an unnamed middle-school student who had been scolded and given detention for refusing to stand and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.